If you see two people, a man and a woman sitting side by side in a car and they are talking and laughing, they are most likely not husband and wife. But if they are either quarrelling or not talking, but maintaining stone faces, they are surely husband and wife.
The most non-communicating pair of human beings is usually husband and wife. All they say to each other is ‘darling wake me up at 3:30am’, and off he sleeps leaving the woman counting the ceiling. Be a talking couple. A talking couple are lasting couple, and their home is a place where love oozes out to visitors and neighbours alike.
Men don’t need conversation the way women do. An average woman uses 25 000 words a day. An average man instead uses between 10 000 to 12 500 words a day. Talking is essentially important if one spouse travels a lot or works week days and only comes home on weekends. It takes time to build that bond after an absence. Conversation will help build that bond needed for a successful marriage.
A times, couples ask, ’what do we talk about?’ Well I usually tell them to learn to talk to each other about things of personal interest. Such things may include:
a. Men like to talk about new cars, sports, projects, or contracts.
b. Women need much more personal conversation. Talk about ordinary things that happen at work or around the house. Talk about solutions to problems with the children. To express her feelings about a particular thing concerning the family.
Share your feelings as wells the facts, e.g. what made you feel good today. Learn to communicate your needs to your spouse without shouting or being aggressive. Learn how to listen to each other, emphasize your needs to each other. It must be remembered that listening, doesn’t come naturally, for most people are busy thinking what they will say when the other person stops talking.
Learning to talk, listen, and understand is hard work, but it is rewarding and worth it. The intimate bonding of close conversation is basic to a good and successful marriage.
TIPS
1 Aim for one-hour meaningful conversation everyday. Make a commitment of time to one another. You can go for a drive, a walk, out to tea or dinner, golfing etc. So you that you won’t be interrupted.
2 Be sure to give your wife your undivided attention while she is talking.
Making Love
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