In a counseling session I organized for couples with troubled sex life in their marriage, a husband expressed his mind as to the importance of sex in marriage and how it can help to keeping the marriage intact. I would like to share his thought and advice with you.
“ I believe there is need for you, Dr Aphys, to reiterate the need for our women to admit that sex is highly important in marriage and that it is one of the means of keeping their marriages intact. Most men are not cut out for extra-marital affairs in the real sense of it. They are tempted to go into it for lack what they thought they would get freely and in large quantity without restriction by getting married.
It is believed that you obtain a license to have unlimited sex once you’re publicly proclaimed married, but the reverse is the case. For example, can you believe that throughout the long holiday cum weekend, my wife and I did not have any sex?
What’s then the essence of being together for so long a period as husband and wife duly and legally married? I have had cause to consider having an affair when this started (the opportunities were there), but I always think that she would change. I tried severally to express this.
Her failure to change brought our marriage to this situation where we need counseling to get back on track. Meanwhile, I can say that I am really good at lovemaking. I have been adventurous and I need maximum sex from my wife. She has to change or else……….Please talk to our wives.”
Most part of this voice out is true, where the wife cannot match the sex drive of her husband and is not seen as trying, there will definitely be problem with such a marriage.
In one of my articles on the topic, I wrote that, ‘The place of sex in marriage cannot be overemphasized. It is infact, the bedrock of a good communication and understanding in the home. Sexual relationship between a man and his wife will help them to express their innate feelings for each other’.
The wife’s view of sex affects how her husband feels about her. Unsatisfactory sexual relations are at the root of many marriage problems. In some cases, this is due to the husband’s lack of consideration and understanding of his wife’s physical and emotional needs.
In some cases, it is the wife’s failure to share physically and emotionally in the experience with her husband. The sexual act, willingly and warmly participated in by both husband and wife, should be an intimate expression of the love that they feel for each other.
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