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Monday, February 28, 2011

Avoid using your Children as Pawns in your Divorce

Too many adults divorce because they fail to effectively communicate with each other. They still have to remain in contact with each other though due to the children they have results from that marriage. It is very important to avoid using your children as pawns in your divorce though. Too many people do it, and the children are the ones that suffer for it.

Keeping the children from seeing their other parent as a way to get back at them for the hurt they have put you through is common. That is a way that many divorced couples punish each other. Yet the children are the ones who suffer from it because they are missing out on that relationship. Unless the other parent isn’t fit to have the children alone then you need to let them go at the set visitation times.

Many children do miss the other parent when they are staying with one. This can hurt the parent they are with. Yet it is important to understand that children have unconditional love for both of their parents all the time. Allowing the children to call the other parent when they miss them or even as a standard ritual before bed can help to relieve their anxiety. It will also allow them to enjoy their time with each parent more.

While children do need to know what is going on as far as the divorce is concerned, they don’t need to know all of the details. Important issues that have to be discussed between the parents should be done privately. Remember that little ears can hear a great deal so make sure they aren’t even around when you are talking about sensitive issues.

When issues arise that involve your children you will need to work together to resolve them. When the parents are offering the opposite solution just to be difficult it only hurts the child more. For example if you have a high school student that has been cutting school you need to come up with a course of action to make them responsible. If one parent thinks it is a big deal and the other parent doesn’t mind then it become an ongoing issue.

Children of divorced parents are going to follow the guidelines of the parent that is in their favor on set issues. I guess you could say it is one of the few perks that children of divorces couples are able to exercise. Yet this can lead to many more issues down the road. So instead of using the children to drive your ex spouse crazy find ways to work as a team to do what is in the best interest of your children.

Never under any circumstances should you be passing messages to your ex spouse through your children. That isn’t their responsibility and too often these children are being told to say things they don’t want to repeat. You also don’t want to be asking your children for information when they return from a visit.

It is fine to ask them what they did and if they had a good time. However, you will be overstepping the boundaries if you are asking specific questions. They shouldn’t have to tell you what was said, who was around, and other details of their time together with the other parent.

If you are having a hard time coming to terms with your divorce, seek professional counseling. You will be able to work through your emotions and set goals for your future. You don’t want to dwell on what has taken place or suppress your feelings. You want to be able to have a good life and to be there for your children in a positive way. Make sure you always stop t consider how our actions are going to affect your children before you engage in them.

  



Saturday, February 26, 2011

Wedding Anniversaries

When I was first dating my wife, we were pretty informal about our anniversaries. Neither of us were people to stand on ceremony, and usually an anniversary party was just an excuse to spend time together. We would drive out to the ocean, walk in a park, or even just go see a movie. We would end the day with a nice dinner and a romantic evening together. Simple and fun, that was the rule.

When we got married however, we suddenly became much more formal in our lifestyle. Neither of us discussed it, but on some level we both felt that it was time to start settling down a little bit. Things began to change from our first wedding anniversary. We had always made fun of our parents and their extravagant wedding anniversaries. On their golden wedding anniversary, for example, they invited practically everyone they knew. Me and my siblings were convinced that it was probably a bigger crowd that had attended their original wedding. We were all expected to get them anniversary presents with the extravagance of wedding gifts, and if anyone was foolish enough to not buy something nice, they certainly would be out of the loop for the next six months.

When we married, I assumed that we would never have that type of attitude towards her wedding anniversaries. You see, the way the world looked to me when I was young, what mattered was living your life every day. Big events, anniversaries, and historical dates aren't that important. What is important is right now. I had always felt that celebrating wedding anniversaries was not necessary. You simply had to celebrate every day of your marriage. Once I was married though, something changed. Suddenly, I felt the need to mark time in a way I had never done before.

The first wedding anniversary was not that formal. It was a weekend getaway, and although it was quite a bit more extravagant than our usual getaways, we certainly didn't make that big a deal about it. After that, however, all of our wedding anniversaries have gotten bigger and bigger. Now that we have been married for five years,we will typically start planning things out a month in advance. We'll have a formal dinner, go to the opera, and perhaps take a weekend trip. Don't get me wrong – I love the celebration. Nonetheless, it seems like I've lost something. My youthful spontaneity may be going forever.
  

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Are Prescription Medications a good Option For Enjoying Sex when you are in your 60’s?

While a person’s mind may still want to have a strong and active sex life the body may not always be able to comply. There are some prescription medications out there that have proven to offer those over 60 help with such issues. For example those with diabetes or arthritis may find that they are in too much pain or don’t have enough energy for sex.

However, with medication to control their diabetes and a good diet their energy levels increase. There are medications for arthritis too that can prevent the joints from swelling up. This means a person can go about activities including sex and not be in constant pain. It may be something that younger generations take for granted, but when you are physically in pain it can be almost impossible to enjoy the pleasures of sex.

One of the most common types of prescription drugs that men use to help them enjoy sex is Viagra. This is a type of pill that a man takes when he is mentally excited to have sex but the penis isn’t getting or maintaining an erection. Many men have found Viagra and similar products have allowed them to have a very enjoyable sex life once again. Their age hasn’t been able to stop them from making this important element part of their normal lifestyle.

The pill known as Cialis has also become very popular. This is because a man can take it and then be able to maintain erections when he is ready over the course of the next 36 hours. This means you don’t have to plan the act of lovemaking such as you do with Viagra and similar types of prescription medications. It allows the process to be more natural and many men really enjoy having that control over their sexual activities.



There are similar types of prescription medication for women as well. One huge problem for them after menopause is a decrease in the hormone estrogen. As a result they may find they have very little interest in sex. Even if they engage in the act, they just aren’t getting the level of pleasure out of it as they once did. Estrogen pills can be prescribed to help a woman gain her libido back.

Prescription medications may be a good option for you if you are older and you really want to improve your sex life. You will need to talk to your doctor about it so a complete assessment can be performed. Identifying the true reasons why you struggle to get an erection or why you aren’t enjoying sexual activity is important so be honest with your answers.

There are certainly plenty of prescription medications offered today to help those over 60 be able to continue with a healthy and satisfying sex life. Keep in mind that some of them are a quite expensive though. There are also some side effects associated with each of them to be ready for. You may have to experiment with a variety of different types of prescription medications before you find the one that helps you get to the level of sexual activity you want in your life.

Prescription medications aren’t the answer for everyone though. There many be too many health issues for you to consider using them. You may also find that the various side effects also make it difficult for you to enjoy sex. Never use prescription medications for someone else because you are too embarrassed to talk to your doctor about it.

You do owe it to yourself though to see if there is medication that can significantly improve your sex life into your 60’s and beyond. There are plenty of people out there in this age group and beyond that find sex more enjoyable now than any other time in their life. Being able to continue engaging in the activity helps to keep them both healthy and happy.
Fix Your Marriage


Saturday, February 19, 2011

Inexpensive Wedding Ideas

Though there are some who want to spend a fortune on their wedding day, many are looking for ways to save money without having to give up on what they see for their big day. I am of the mind that you should never borrow to pay for your wedding, as there are better things you can do with your money. You can have a nice day without owing. If you look around for some inexpensive wedding ideas, you can find ways to get what you want, but at a substantially lower price.

I used quite a few inexpensive wedding ideas when I married. I saved a lot of money by doing this, and I am glad that I did. I did not have to borrow for my wedding, and I was glad that this was not hanging over my head once we got back from our honeymoon. One of the best inexpensive wedding ideas I had was to use the services of friends and family. I have an aunt who is a photographer. She took all of our wedding photos for us as a gift. That saved me a lot of money in one shot, and I got some great photos.

If you want inexpensive wedding ideas like that one, think about your close friends and family. You might be surprised about how eager they are to help you out. I have a sister who is a florist, and she gave me an incredible discount on flowers. I had the flowers I wanted at almost half the price I would have paid anywhere else. My husband’s aunt makes wedding cakes. Ours was gorgeous, and free. There are many great inexpensive wedding ideas that can come from using the services of those who love you.

You may not know a florist or a cake maker, but I would be there are one or two people in your family that can help you out. They may have inexpensive wedding ideas of their own to share with you. I know that I was surprised at the number of ideas and help that was offered to me when I married. Your family may surprise you in the same way. Also remember that the Internet is full of great inexpensive wedding ideas, and with a few clicks of a mouse you can find ways to cut down on cost while still having a beautiful and memorable day.





Thursday, February 17, 2011

Can You Save A Marriage Alone?

The unfortunate question asked by the plenty of people. Today, many couples are facing some or the other problems in their married life. The first few years of married life are cheerful, but after some years, problems may arise due to conflicts along with bitterness and some misunderstanding. Generally, nobody directly thinks of breaking a marriage as it is hurting to both the partners. Every couple tries to find out some ways to resolve the problems in their married life and save a marriage.

Once you agree that there are some problems in your married life, you may need to think and find the reasons why. Off-course, it will be just like a one-way traffic and it is quiet difficult that you alone should try to improve your relations. Your partner should equally respond to your efforts to save your marriage. However, you must make some efforts to find out the problems in your married life and develop some qualities within you to maintain better relationships.

The first step you may need to take in order to save your marriage is to bring back the spark in your relationship again. It is very important to spend time with each other. You may use this time to relax and enjoy in each other’s company and recall the moments that you had spent together.
Marriage Fitness: 4 Steps to Building & Maintaining Phenomenal Love

This may help to do away with the misunderstandings and resolve the conflict if any. You should show deep love for your partner and make him/her feel how much you need him/her. Love is an important bridge in a married life that may keep the couple bound together. You may send a romantic message to your partner or arrange for the romantic outings.

Self-assessment is a very important solution to the question can you save a marriage alone. You should be able to realize your mistakes and develop ways to improve your behavior. Avoid the things that may hurt your partner. The conflicts in married life may be due to ego or some misunderstandings. Hence, you should give away your ego and should take an initiative to resolve the problems in your married life. You should be ready for the compromises it demands.
How to Save Your Marriage Alone

Good communication is a very important factor for developing healthy relationships. You should share all your problems, expectations and feelings with your partner. Communication is not limited to just talking with others, but you should be able to listen to your partner and understand him/ her. The most important thing is that you should fully trust your partner and have faith in your relationship.

Keeping the marital relations alive is very challenging. Always remember that during the course of time, both the partners may change. It is also very important to learn how to deal with these changes. Off-course, it requires efforts and cooperation from both sides. But, you can take an initiative from your side and start to work on the problems in married life.

If you are still wondering, can you save a marriage alone, and then the answer is yes! You can save a marriage alone if you are ready to put in some efforts first.
 

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Avoiding Burnout in Home Schooling

Whether you’re studying in a traditional school or in a home schooling program, there will come a time when you will experience burnout. This is something that you have to avoid so that your learning progress is not affected.

Here are a few helpful tips that you can make use of to avoid possible home schooling burnout:

• Know your limitations. From the very start, you should already know your and your child’s limitations. You are capable of doing things slowly at a time especially if your child is still young since you have to consider your child’s learning capacity. Most of today’s students are average learners so you have to take the lessons based on your child’s learning pace. Never expect your small child to read complicated reading selections nor your teen to ace SAT exams.

• Don’t follow strict schedules because this can pressure your child. You can simply set an interesting routine for your kids. Children spend most of their time doing their routine activities like getting up late in the morning, eat hearty breakfasts, read, write, do light chores, and some other things. You must insist that they finish first their routine activities before they can play outside or with the
computer. Even the routine activities vary from day to day but you have to make sure that you’re child follows the routine activities. You can throw in occasional incentives or fun activities if they finish their routine tasks earlier.

• Enjoy home schooling together with your kid. This is one way to develop a good relationship with your kid. If you and your kid can relate to each other, you will find it very easy to handle curriculum struggles and motivation problems. Aside from motivating and guiding
your child, you can also pursue some of your interests like gardening and cooking. If your child sees you pursuing your interests, then he or she will also be motivated in doing the same.

• Since your child is into home schooling, you should not mimic the traditional school environment. Try to use unusual methods when teaching your kid. Home schooling is also about flexibility and if you can achieve a light atmosphere, you can effectively avoid burnout.

Always remember that with home schooling, you don’t have to structure your teaching methods. You can simply do things in a fun way especially with very young kids and they can learn easily. Just keep the day in the right perspective to avoid burnout. Although your kids might forget some of the day’s lessons, that’s all right because somehow they grow in intelligence and even physically. And of course, you kids will always cherish your moments together and how well you’ve treated them. There is no other place like home and for little students this is the best place to learn the first lessons in life. Now, even your teens are already in high school or in college, they can still pursue home schooling if they want too. That is also a good decision because you get to monitor your child’s performance.Homeschooling: The Teen Years: Your Complete Guide to Successfully Homeschooling the 13- to 18- Year-Old (Prima Home Learning Library)

Parents are always looking after their child’s best interest. If after careful consideration you still think that home schooling is the best option, go on with it. Just follow the tips mentioned earlier to avoid burnout at home. Do fun activities from time to time to rule out monotony.The First Year of Homeschooling Your Child: Your Complete Guide to Getting Off to the Right Start

Sunday, February 13, 2011

5 Signs Your Sex Life May Need a Makeover

Are you in a relationship?  If you are, are you pleased with the amount of sex and intimacy that you are receiving?  Are you unsure?  For many men and women, this question is a lot harder to answer than it looks. 

If you are unsure as to whether or not your sex life is good, it may be time for you to find out?  Why because if you are pleased with the amount of intimacy that you receive, you should be sure to tell your partner on occasion.  Doing so can help to improve your relationship.  On the other hand, if you are not pleased with the level of intimacy received, it may be time for you to make a change, like experimenting in the bedroom.

So do you have a good sex life?  To help you get an accurate answer to that question, five signs that your sex life may need improving are outlined below.

Sign #1 – You Find Sex Boring

Unfortunately, many couples, especially those in long-term relationships, get to a certain point where sex just isn’t fun anymore.  Does it seem more like work or a chore to you?  Being intimate with your partner should not seem like a responsibly that you are required to fulfill.  Instead, it should be fun and exciting.

Do you reject being intimate with your partner?  Do you put off going to bed with them in fear of being intimate?  If you do, your sex life may need an improvement or a change.

Sign #2 – You Are Left Unsatisfied

If and when you do get intimate with your partner, do you achieve maximum pleasure?  If not, your sex life may be in serious trouble.  This is most often the case with women.  Some women find it more difficult to achieve maximum pleasure in the bedroom.  But, know that it is possible.  You may need to offer suggestions to your partner or guide them.  Whatever you do, just be sure to take action right away.  A relationship where only one party is pleased, is likely to fail.

Sign #3 – Sex Feels Like a Responsibility

As it was previously stated, being intimate with your partner should not seem like work or a responsibility that you must fulfill. If it does, it is time for you to change.  Be spontaneous.  Initiate sex yourself, as opposed to waiting for your partner to do so.  Spice up your intimacy by experimenting in the bedroom with a new position or simply just have relations at a different time and place.  Whatever approach you do take, be sure to do something.  Do not let an otherwise healthy relationship fail because sex is something that you would rather avoid.

Sign #4 – You Don’t Have It

To have a good sex life, you must first be having sex.  Are you?  If you are in a relationship, you should be.  Whether you get intimate with your partner on a daily basis or even just once a week, this closeness is important to your relationship and not just in the physical sense. 

If you are currently not in a relationship, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have or not get the opportunity to experience intimacy and closeness with another adult.  Take action to start feeling wanted, needed, and loved today.  This may involve using an online dating website or just visiting a bar with a bunch of your friends.

Sign #5 – Your Relationship Is Failing

Do you and your partner spend most of your time arguing?  If so, your relationship may be in serious trouble.  Despite arguing about a topic not related to intimacy, such as money or work, did you know that your lack of intimacy may be to blame?  Couples who are happy inside the bedroom are likely to be happy outside of it as well.  The two should go hand in hand.

So do you have a happy and healthy sex life?  If not, remember that there are a number of steps that you can take to make an improvement in your levels of satisfaction.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Childcare Tips for the Mother-to-Be

The search for childcare ideally should begin when you discover your due date. This gives you plenty of time to research your childcare options. Depending on the type of childcare you choose, there are several items of importance to consider before selecting a provider. Are you going to need in-home care in which a single caregiver comes to your home If this is the type of care you need, be aware that many of these providers are not licensed nor are they required to be licensed. In this case it is especially important to get references from previous employers for at least 5 years. Ask for names and phone numbers; don’t hesitate to call the parents who have used their services. If the provider refuses or is unable to provide this information for you, move on. In-home caregivers may be left alone with your child, they may be unlicensed and are often costlier than other types of childcare; caution should be exercised when choosing this type of childcare.
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Another option is family childcare, which is a more casual environment with a limited amount of children enrolled, and is usually less expensive than day care centers. This type of childcare requires you to drop off and pick up your child at the person’s home. Often there are charges made if you are late in picking up your child; the caregiver is more like a nine-to-five business and may strictly enforce this rule. These types of childcare providers should be licensed, and the type of care provided is left up to the individual so again, references from other parents are crucial.Eating for Pregnancy: The Essential Nutrition Guide and Cookbook for Today's Mothers-to-Be

Still another option is a day care center, which must be licensed. Your child will be among more children, receiving less individualized care than the previous two types of childcare mentioned. However, there are many benefits to this type longer hours of operation, less stringent rules on pick up and drop off times, and more activities with more children to interact with. The down side may be the more children your child is exposed to the more chance of illness and other problems resulting from interacting with many young children at once.

Before you have your baby is the best time for you to visit your prospective childcare providers. Take along a notepad with you; make notes of any positive or negative items you will want to check into later. Checklists provided by several websites can be printed out, using your notes for comparison.  If you are going to be returning to work after maternity leave, having several providers lined up will make your intro back to work less stressful. If you are working out of your home, or work part time, it is still beneficial to have a childcare provider on call for emergencies. This would be a drop-in provider who can be called at the last minute and basically is an on-call provider. Having a drop-in childcare option will also afford you some time to get back into the routine post-baby. Even a few hours a week can give you time to do the grocery shopping, keep doctor’s appointments, have lunch with a friend or just get out of the house for an hour.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Are You A Divorced Dad? So What?

 Nolo's Essential Guide to Divorce
Can a divorced Dad be a great father? Perhaps a divorced guy should also ask you, “Why? Just because you’re not does not mean you’re a great father.” It’s really such a pity that our society as a dead beat parent just because of he’s divorced.  There are a lot of amazing divorced fathers out there and you can learn a lot from them.

Keeping It Close

You’ve got to admit that children suffer a lot of the consequences of divorce. From irate parents, to separation anxiety it’s a tough world out there for children whose parents are divorced or getting divorced.

Preserving a relationship with the kids needs sacrifice from both sets of parents. Both mother and father have to be able to set aside their differences long enough to inspect the damage that they have both caused to their children. More often than not parents get to engrossed with their emotional pain that they fail to notice that their children suffer even more than they do.

Studies show that when both parents make conscious efforts to stay close to each other have more successful and stable children. What’s more when parents separate their relationship from those with their children, they tend to create a more harmonious relationship.
The Divorce Organizer & Planner

A Formal Study

To emphasize the importance of a father’s proximity to his children, the State University of Arizona conducted a study of college students whose parents where divorced. The researchers observed personality, emotional and mental maturity, health, and even interests in school and success. The researchers found several evidences that supports the idea that whoever has primary custody it is adamant that divorce parents be in close proximity of their children.

Findings

The Findings are very interesting. Statistics clearly shows that children whose parents are divorced have healthier and more mature relationships when their parents make a conscious effort of keeping the essence of family intact.

61% of the kids involved in the study asserted that their mom or whoever had primary custody moved them at least an hour’s drive away from the other parent. One of the concerns expressed by the students was getting in between the crossfire. When they stay with one parent during the move, future financial help (like for college) lessened. Example, if they stayed with dad mom gives less when college comes, and vice versa. In fact the investigation showed that the 1 hour driving distance already had a negative effect on the children. 

Emotional upheaval cannot be avoided, but a keener inspection of the kids showed that those whose parents kept them close have a healthier disposition emotionally and mentally.

Contemplating Divorce: A Step-by-Step Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go

In Conclusion

All in all the study asserts that divorce does affect children. The way the parents treat each other and the distance they have from their children does have a significant impact that could determine whether the child succeeds or not. It is difficult to make friends with an ex wife after all that’s been said and done, but it will be more difficult for you as a divorced dad when in the future you see your children suffer the consequences of your action.

As a divorced dad, it is your responsibility, to your self and your children to make the supreme sacrifice of making the first step of keeping close. Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way

Sunday, February 6, 2011

4 Ways to Improve Your Intimacy with Your Wife

Are you married?  If so, you likely love your wife, right?  Despite a deep and intense love for your wife, you may still want to see an improvement in your intimacy.  After all, what man doesn’t want good sex? 

If you want to improve your intimacy with your wife, it is important to know that you have a number of different options.  Unfortunately, many men automatically start think of the bedroom. Yes, you do want to “wow,” your wife in the bedroom, but that is not all that sex and intimacy is about.  In fact, that is where many marriages go wrong.  Too much focus is placed on the sex or the lack of it. 

To help you properly improve your intimacy with your wife, please continue reading on.  A few easy to implement, yet successful approaches are highlighted below for your convenience.

1 – Date Her

How long have you been married?  If you have been married for a number of years now, do you honestly remember when your last “real,” date was.  Unfortunately, many men underestimate the power of a date. You will not want to make this mistake.  If you opt just for the sex, your wife may start to feel like it is her responsibility to please you and this is not how a relationship should work.

To not only improve your satisfaction in the bed, but to improve your wife’s satisfaction, take her out on a date.  Many times, getting out of the house is enough to bring new excitement into a relationship.  For the best level of success, choose a romantic date theme, such as a fancy dinner, a romantic movie, or a night at a nice hotel.
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2 – Compliment Her

When is the last time that you have paid your wife a truly nice and unique compliment?  If it has been a while, it is time for you to start again.  Is your wife wearing a new outfit?  Has she recently started a weight loss plan?  Did your wife get her hair cut?  If so, be sure to compliment her.  Complimenting your wife on her appearance will increase her self-confidence.  This, in turn, can improve experiences in the bedroom.

As important as it is to compliment your wife on her appearance, it is also important to remember to compliment her on other areas of your relationship.  Do you notice that the house is clean?  Has your wife prepared a nice dinner?  If so, thank her for the job well done.  This will not only help to improve your relationship in general, but it can have an impact on your experiences in the bedroom.

3 – Seduce Her

What is sex like in your home?  Does it occur like clockwork?  Do you actually take the time to ask your wife if she wants to have sex?  If so, try to refrain from doing so.  Yes, you may be rejected, due to a headache or being tired, but why not take the chance?  Be spontaneous.  Seduce your wife.  Make her want to have sex with you.

4 – Fulfill Her Fantasies

In keeping with seducing your wife, let her know that you want to fulfill her fantasies.  It may take your wife a few times to open up about what she likes or fantasizes about sexually, but the information will likely come out soon.  Give it your all to fulfill your wife’s sexual fantasies.  It is also important to note that afterwards is the perfect time to share your fantasies and sexual desires with your wife.  In end, you may all end up being much more pleased.

As you can see, there are a number of different ways that you can go about improving the intimacy in your relationship.  Please remember, however, that you want to get started in someplace other than the bedroom.  Sex in a marriage is about more and should be more than just the act itself.  Taking the time to date and compliment your wife will more than pay off in the end.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Do You Have a Happy Sex Life?  Signs That You May Have

Many couples are often curious about their sex life and how it compares to the sex life of others. In all honesty, you are able to determine, on your own, if your sex life is good, happy, and healthy.  With that said, there are some common signs that you may want to look for.  These signs, a few of which are outlined below, often signal a happy and healthy sex life.  Are you receiving the ultimate level of satisfaction?

Sign #1 – You Have a Healthy Relationship

Couples who have a healthy relationship use communication with each other and often.  They are able to let their partners know when something is bothering them. Each partner understands that their relationship involves two fully committed individuals.  Couples with happy and healthy sex lives often do not have unrealistic expectations or make excess demands on their partners.

Sign #2 – Experimentation in the Bedroom

Experimenting in the bedroom is another sign that you may have a happy and healthy sex life.  Of course, this does not mean that you and your partner have to become the next big adult movie stars, but experimentation can improve your sex life significantly.  It is also important to remember that experimentation comes in a number of different formats.  It can be something as simple as having sex at a different time of the day, in a different part of the house, or extended foreplay sessions. Fantasies and fetishes are fun and okay, but only if both parties agree to them.  Be sure to consult with your partner before going “overboard.”

Sign #3 – Sex is Given Freely

In many relationships, especially long-term relationships, sex can be seen as a chore.  This isn’t how it should be.  Sex should be something that you and your partner want, not a responsibility that needs to be fulfilled.  If you and your partner are open to both spontaneously engaging in the act, you may have a happy and healthy sex life.  When you have sex because you want to, as opposed to because it is your “job,” maximum benefit and pleasure is achieved.

Sign #4 – Sex Becomes a Regular Part of the Relationship

It is no secret that having an active sexual relationship can be difficult.  With raising families, working, and other common duties, sex can often take a back seat.  Another sign that you may have a happy and healthy sex life is if you don’t let your day to day responsibilities and duties get in the way of having sex.  Regardless of how busy you are, if you still find time to have sex with your partner, you have a healthy sex life.  Just be sure to remember that sex doesn’t have to be scheduled.  In fact, spontaneous sex can do wonders for a relationship.

Sign #5 – Sex is more than Just an Act

Contrary to what most people believe, sex is more than just having intercourse.  An important component of having a happy and healthy sex life is that of engaging in foreplay.  Foreplay can be something as simple as holding hands or giving a relaxing massage.  Love notes, kind gestures, and doing something that your partner may not expect on a daily basis are all easy ways to keep your partner interested in you, both emotionally and physically.  You have a healthy and happy sex life when the romance continues on long past intercourse has come to an end.

So, do you have a happy and healthy sex life?  If a number of the above mentions signs describes your relationship with your significant other, there is a good chance that you do. 

Even if you have a happy and healthy sex life now, it is important to remember that things may change.  Remember that as time passes, it may be easier to let sex impact your relationship negatively.  Be sure to always keep an open line of communication with your partner, especially where sex and their needs are concerned.Sexual Healing: A Resource Book for a Healthy and Happy Sex Life

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Practicing Safe Sex

Practicing safe sex greatly reduces the risk of sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies. While no methods of safe sex, with the exception of abstinence, are 100% effective if you do engage it sexual activity, it is better to use protection because doing so is definitely much safer than not using any form of protection. While various forms of protection are not foolproof, using them will greatly reduce your risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease or an unwanted pregnancy. While there are a multitude of safe sex methods available this article will outline only a fraction of these methods including, abstinence and monogamy, both male and female condoms, and oral contraception.

The only truly safe method of preventing both pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases is abstinence. This is the only safe sex method that is 100% effective against both pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease. While abstinence may be a completely foolproof safe sex method, it is also not the chosen safe sex method for very many people. If you are unwilling to engage in abstinence as a safe sex method, it is highly recommended that you at least only engage in sexual activities with a monogamous partner. Monogamy means that neither you nor your partner are engaging in sexual activity with anyone else besides each other. Monogamy is not an effective method of birth control but it is effective at preventing sexually transmitted diseases. As long as you and your partner are free of diseases, you will remain that way for at least as long as you remain monogamous. Abstinence and monogamy are both highly effective safe sex methods. Abstinence is effective at preventing both pregnancy and diseases while monogamy helps to prevent diseases only.

In terms of avoiding sexually transmitted diseases, the condom is one the only truly effective methods available. If used properly condoms can be very effective in preventing not only sexually transmitted diseases but also unwanted pregnancies. Male condoms are relatively inexpensive and are readily available in drug stores, grocery stores and even vending machines. Condoms are also available in both male and female versions. The male condom is the one most often used. The male condom is a thin sheath, usually made of latex that fits over the penis and acts as a barrier to the exchange of bodily fluids during intercourse. If used correctly every time the male condom is 97%-98% effective against preventing pregnancy and is also highly effective in terms of preventing sexually transmitted diseases. Even if they are not used correctly condemns are still 88%-90% effective in terms of preventing pregnancy. While condoms, if used correctly, are highly effective birth control methods as well as sexually transmitted disease deterrents, they are still not 100% reliable and you should understand that you still run the risk of pregnancy or disease even if you are using a condom. The female condom is a polyurethane sheath that lines the entire vagina. The closed end is inserted into the vagina and the open end remains outside the body. The female condom has only been available since the 1990s and its high cost and scarce availability contribute to it not being used widely as a safe sex method. Both male and female condoms are effective methods for both avoiding pregnancy and preventing sexually transmitted diseases.

Use of oral contraception such as birth control pills is highly effective for preventing pregnancy but is not useful in preventing sexually transmitted diseases. Oral contraception is a pill that is taken daily and utilizes hormonal supplements to prevent pregnancy by creating an environment that is not conducive to fertilization. When used correctly the pill is 97%-99 effective in preventing pregnancy but does absolutely nothing to prevent sexually transmitted diseases. There are many side effects to using the pill but most of these side effects are relatively mild. Some side effects include weight changes, nausea, irritability and breast tenderness. Although none of these side effects are severe, fortunately, many of them can also be avoided all together. There are a variety of pills available on the market today and these pills vary in the amount of hormones that they contain. If you are experiencing unwanted side effects with one version of the pill, speak to your doctor about your discomfort and they will probably be able to recommend another brand that will eliminate or diminish these side effects. While oral contraception is easy to use, free of severe side effects and highly effective against preventing pregnancy, it is not at all effective against preventing sexually transmitted diseases and if you are not positive that your partner is free of disease, you should always use another safe sex method to prevent these diseases.

Practicing safe sex can involve taking measures to avoid pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases or both. While abstinence is the only safe sex method that is 100% effective against pregnancy and sexually transmitted there are other highly effective options for preventing pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Monogamy with a disease free partner and condoms can help to prevent sexually transmitted diseases. Condoms along with birth control pills are also effective in terms of preventing pregnancy.