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Tuesday, March 27, 2012

3 Situations You HAVE To Lie To Your Woman

It's no surprise that both genders rely on lying to some extent. They just do it differently and sometimes for different reasons.

All humans, especially women say they want their partner to be honest. Is this the truth? Can you keep a relationship up and running if you are telling the truth all the time?

Imagine that you just have brought your girlfriend at your home, to spend the night together for the first time. You have made a great effort to arrange and clean your home and especially the bedroom. You are proud about this and ask your partner what she believes about your home.

She responds "It is a little old fashioned... and something smells bad in here". Ups!  Ok.

You two pass through this awkward moment, then you start kissing each other, but you make a joke about... the size of your penis, and instead to hear the most used reply: "hey, relax, size really doesn't matter", she tells you that her ex was quite huge.

Ups... Not again. :)

If she were to say just two little lies everything could be great, but now...

The truth is, telling a few lies can be one of the best ways to keep your relationship healthy.

So if you want to keep her happy and keep getting laid, you're going to have to learn how to lie - and lie convincingly. The trick is figuring out what she wants to hear.

1. Never mention your sexual past... especially if it was a good one. If your girlfriend asks you what it was like or how good your ex was, you can tell a lie if you have to. Say it wasn't all that good. Don't ever mention her. Even if what you're saying is uncomplimentary, it will still have a negative effect. You bringing her up hints that she's still on your mind.

2. When it comes about how she looks, if you picked her to be your partner, you have to make her feel that she is a WOMAN. Every woman has something beautiful, something sexy and attractive, and if you make her know that you find her attractive she will be more confident, wilder and more passionate. But when she asks you about something you don't really like at her look, never but never tell her your true opinion. Just say that it is OK and pass over the moment. If you are telling her that you don't like something at her, she will feel frustrated and become more inhibited.

3. Everybody knows that women have more sensibility than men. So pay attention to her sensibility and don't make bad jokes about other people (especially her family) or let her know when you are up to take the cat and throw it out through the window.  She will find you insensitive and you will lose points.  Use your common sense and try not to hurt your woman’s feelings even if you have to say a little lie from time to time.

Overall, lying is a bad thing to do. But when it comes to women, you really have no choice.

The little white lies don't hurt anyone and are only meant as reassurance every now and then.

It's therefore okay to tell a person what they want to hear.


Sunday, March 25, 2012

6 Secrets to Be the Nice Guy Women Want

Sure you're nice - most people are.  So what?

This quality is one that reflects your feeling
that you're a man worth knowing and you deserve
women's attention.  But do you really believe
that women pay attention to what you think you
deserve?

Being nice is not enough. Okay, fine, you're nice,
 but you also need to be interesting.

Unfortunately, "nice guy" equates to wimp/dweeb
in too many people's minds.

Believe me: you don't have to be a jerk to
attract women! 

As a matter of fact, women did not like jerks or
aggressive men. They are attracted by challenging,
 interesting guys. That's all.  You can be
interesting, challenging and still a nice man. Be
yourself but keep in mind these significant
things that can make the difference between a
regular nice guy and a successful one:

1. Women LOVE a man who is a CHALLENGE... the
quickest and easiest way I've ever heard to let a
woman know that YOU are the guy she should be
pursuing is to let women know you are successful
with women.  Be a nice guy, but one that is
desirable. :)

2. The MOST EFFECTIVE way to approach a woman and
spark her attraction for you is giving her a
COMPLIMENT on her looks. This can be suicidal if
done wrong... but just find something at her what
you really think is special, different about her.
You give attention, and you will get attention in
return!

3. Not being aggressive doesn't mean that you
have to wait for madam perfection to drop into
your lap (which you as a "nice guy" deserve by
definition, of course). You have to take some
initiative. BE SELF-CONFIDENT (but not really
cocky) and show some honest interest in something
about a woman.

4. The best selling genre of books in the world
is romance novels... because women LOVE romance. 
So don't talk about sport for God seek!  If you
are not the type of man that reads poetry or is
able to talk about moon or about the smell of
burned tree leafs, don't do it. You'll look
unnatural. But taking your date in a romantic
place, offering her a nice flower, enjoying some
good music or even touching her hand in a
delicate way is very romantic.

5. And don't talk only about you. You want her to
listen to you? Then first listen carefully to her
when she needs to be heard. The most effective
way to be interesting is asking questions and…
listens. Only try and you'll see. :)

Keep in mind that often (not always, but very
often) when a woman tells you about a problem she'
s having, she's not looking to you for the
solution.  What?  That doesn't make sense? What
she's often looking for is comfort and
reassurance and knowing that YOU'RE THERE.

6. One of the most important things in dating is
to approach women that are interested in dating
and women that seem to be interested in you. Don'
t try to sell candies to someone that is looking
for peanuts and don't waste your time with women
that are still affected by their ex long term
relationships. You don't want to be just a
shoulder to cry?

You only live once, so live your life well!

Friday, March 23, 2012

3 Tricks When Talking on the Phone with a Woman You Have Met Online

A Complete Step-by-step Guide To Online Dating For Women!


You have met an interesting woman online. You twohad a great time chatting online and she decided to give you her phone number. Now you have to make her want to see you face to face, and the phone is your only tool.

The first telephone call is the most important one. Sure you have her number, but nothing has been won yet.

1. Before you call you should have prepared a list of several topics to talk about. Hopefully your email exchange has provided you with some information to follow up on. Study her profile to think of other topics to talk about. Prepare open ended questions. Start talking about a subject, and give her a chance to speak as well.

2. DON'T: ask her questions about other guys she's seeing, suspiciously interrogate her about how she spends her time, and angrily reprimand her for flaking on you. How she spends her time is her business.

A lot of men sabotage their chances with a woman by don't giving her enough credit and respect.

You know there's trouble if you're doing all the talking and her replies are short or non-existent.  If so it either means you haven't hit on the right topic to talk about, or, more likely, she simply isn't interested. Also, if she ends the conversation early or "has to go", leave it up to her to call you again, if she wants to. Usually, she won't.

So, when talking to a woman on the phone DON'T worry about impressing her. Have fun. Enjoy the conversation. Amuse yourself.


True Love: Dying Reveals Secrets To Great Relationships!

3. At first phone conversation is better to stay away of complimenting her. I think giving women compliments can be very powerful. But when you give a woman compliments within the context of trying to win her over, you become a wuss.

Usually women are curious why the men they are talking to online decided to pick them instead of other thousandths of profiles. Most of them will ask you about these "reasons" and by doing this are giving you the opportunity to make her compliments. So, wait the moment.  :)

If the conversation flow easily, effortlessly, if you find her fairly responsive and you can keep up the  conversation for at least a half hour you can ask her out. Her answer seam to be: "YES".

The 21 Basic Laws Of Successful Relationships.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

If You Think Divorce Is The Only Option...Read On!

Going through the Pain Barrier

Nobody likes pain but its there for a purpose. I am a long time supporter of The Leprosy Mission and one of the things that I’ve discovered about leprosy is that its not normally the disease that results in a persons fingers or toes falling off, it’s the fact that the disease of leprosy stops a person being able to feel pain and so they will unconsciously burn themselves badly and not feel it. The nerve endings have been damaged and so they cannot feel pain at all and the results, more often than not, are the hideous deformities that we now associate with a leper. A leper would love to feel pain because they know that pain is given to us to warn our bodies that something is wrong that needs put right, if possible. Pain is not always a bad thing.

I run marathons. Do you think I feel pain when I run a marathon? You bet I do! A marathon is one of the supreme tests of endurance that average people can undertake. During the run your body uses up all its stores of carbohydrates and other necessary body fuels and then begins to feed off itself – it turns cannibal, if you like. This is painful. As well as that, it is not uncommon to pull a muscle, develop a blister, get a stitch, hurt your joints or any other number of painful ailments. Your body is telling you to stop, this is damaging to it! In this context, pain is your body’s natural way to tell you that you are overdoing it – and of course you are. However, all of us can ‘overdo it’ for a lot longer than we think is possible initially. We can learn to acknowledge the pain and, whilst taking steps to minimise it, we can still run on and on. Mind over matter if you like.

One of the great acts of heroism I ever witnessed was during an Olympic marathon when the Tanzanian representative fell during the race badly injuring himself. He got up and struggled on in obvious pain whilst all the other runners disappeared up the road in front of him. It was demoralising for him but he refused to give up. He struggled on and entered the stadium with only a few people still left in the stands to cheer him home. He finished the race with blood pouring from his leg wound just as they were taking down the finishing line and a television reporter asked why he hadn’t just given up after falling so badly. His response was brilliant. He replied, “My country did not send me here to start a race. They sent me to finish a race!” Too many of us start the race but are not so committed to finishing.

I am firmly convinced that if a couple acknowledge to each other that there will be times of pain then they will be better able to cope with it for a period when it happens. In the western world, we have been brought up with this strange belief that we should never suffer and so, when we inevitably do hit times of suffering, we have not prepared ourselves to handle it properly. I have a friend who lectures on philosophy in universities in many third world countries. He says that one question he is never asked in third world countries is, “Why does God allow suffering?” The reason for this is that suffering is just such a normal part of their lives that they cannot imagine that anyone doesn’t suffer. In fact it’s the suffering that makes them into the people they are. Can you accept that suffering makes you a better person?

Here are five things we can do when we feel pain in our relationship:-

1. We need to acknowledge that there is pain and try to isolate what is causing it.
As we have said already in regard to the lepers, pain has a purpose. It tells us that something is not right. When we feel pain in our relationship we need to stop and analyse why we are feeling that particular pain. When I was an accountant and had a bit more money at my disposal, one of the things I would do when I felt some pain in my marriage was to throw a bit of money at it. We’d take a holiday, go for a nice meal, buy some new clothes, get our hair done up (well at least my wife would do this). Now, if you’ve got the resources, there is nothing intrinsically wrong with any of these things but we need to be aware that by distracting our minds for a little while from the cause of the pain it doesn’t make the pain go away long term. It only puts a plaster over a wound that needs treatment. However, all we were doing by throwing money at our problems was delaying the inevitable and sooner or later we would have a big argument.

It’s a bit like developing a toothache. Sure, you can dull the pain by putting some painkilling drug on your gum but if the cause of the pain is not dealt with, we know that it will flare up again, and next time even more painfully. Indeed if we kept on ignoring the pain then it might result in a tooth being removed. What started out as a simple toothache resulted in surgery. Not good.
In marriage there are a number of ways of figuring out what is causing the pain. Most of them common sense. You could try just talking to each other. Now there’s a novel suggestion! You could try doing the simple exercises in chapter 2 of this book and then discussing the results. You could talk to a professional counsellor who is trained to get to the bottom of painful issues. Whatever you decide to do it is crucial that you do something and do not ignore your pain. Once again the keyword is action.

2. The second thing we can try when pain rears its probing head is something that might seem very obvious but it is worth stating again just in case you miss it. Make sure that the pain you feel is associated with your marriage and not something else, like your job or even your children. So often we can be under pressure at our work and then come home and take it out on our partner. This is called displacing the pain. One of the things that I had to learn to do was to actually say to my wife, when I came home after a particularly hard day at work, that I was feeling stressed and tired. At first it felt like a confession of weakness and it wasn’t easy for me to admit that sometimes I wasn’t coping as well as I’d like to pretend. When I admitted as much to my wife, almost every time she was able to understand and take a bit more of the household pressure for a short time.

On other occasions the pressure was in the other direction and after a hard day of dealing with young children my wife would sometimes take out her frustrations on me. If I failed to recognise that this was happening the result could easily be a full-blown argument over pain that had been displaced. It is very important to be able to admit to feeling under pressure and to ask for some help from your spouse. If you don’t, the pain you feel elsewhere will automatically come out in your marriage.

3. The third thing to fix in your mind and believe is that pain is not a signal that your marriage is over.
When I’m running a marathon I need to keep reminding myself that pain is a totally natural for this event and expected part of the race. I do not give up at the first twinge or even at quite severe pain. I battle through it. Of course, I have to put up with some pain if I want to finish the race. One thing that drives me nuts these days is when I read a report in a newspaper of the latest celebratory couple who have split up citing ‘irreconcilable differences’ as the cause. What they are really saying is that they encountered a wee bit pain and so just gave up! Usually they live such a pampered lifestyle that any sort of pain is just not acceptable and so they walk away (to repeat the exercise with someone else). Do not succumb to this modern malaise. If you never learn how to put up with a bit of pain, every relationship you enter into will head down the same path. If you don’t believe me, just check out the marriages in Hollywood. Don’t become a quitter. Pain is not the end – it’s a sign that something needs to be done. In fact, it can be a beginning if you let it.

4. Stop focusing on the pain.
Whatever you focus on will begin to define who you are. If all you can see are the bad things in your marriage it won’t be long until your marriage accurately reflects your focus. In a marathon, if I keep thinking about how painful it is, there is a big temptation to give up. So what I do is to try and focus on more pleasant things such as the scenery, the joy of running, the anticipation of finishing, other runners (especially those who dress up in stupid outfits), anything to divert my attention from the pain for a little while. It’s amazing how often the pain is actually more mental than physical. I believe that the same thing can be achieved in marriage. Instead of focusing on the toothpaste lid or the toilet seat (to quote just two clich├ęs) why not focus on your partner’s great sense of humour or their willingness to always switch off the lights or any of a hundred other endearing qualities? It’s amazing how trivial the irritations become when you remove them from the centre of your focus.

Try this simple exercise. Take a very small coin and hold it arms length between your finger and thumb. Does it block out much of the view behind it? No, obviously it doesn’t. Now bring the coin up closer and closer to your eye and close the other eye. What happens? It blocks your view almost completely, doesn’t it? It’s only a small coin but it can completely obliterate your view if you let it. Often the same thing happens in marriage. You can forget all the tremendous blessings you have together and focus on the one tiny fault until it takes over and dominates your thinking. Don’t allow it to do so. Now, what you’ve just read might sound like a contradiction to point 1 but its not. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting here that you bury your head in the sand regarding pain in your marriage but what I am saying is to make sure that the thing you think is causing you pain is actually as bad as you are making out. Have you just become so used to whining about something that it has come to dominate your thinking unnecessarily? Don’t let a small pain obliterate your view of a great marriage.

5. Share the Pain
Can I just remind you of something? You are married. It’s okay to share the hard things with your spouse. Remember the vows that you took? “For better and for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health.” Perhaps you’ve always felt that you had to be strong and support your spouse and so when you feel pain what do you do? Pretend it’s not sore? Tell him/her that you can cope? Why don’t you just admit that you’re finding something tough and ask for their support? It might be the very thing that draws you together. Share , share, share.

As I draw to the end of this chapter I want to leave you with an amusing story.

A little old couple walked slowly into a McDonalds one cold winter evening. They looked out of place amid the young families and young couples eating there that night. Some of the customers looked admiringly at them. You could tell what the admirers were thinking. "Look, there’s couple who have been through a lot together, probably for 60 years or more!"

The little old man walked up to the cash register, placed his order with no hesitation and then paid for their meal. The couple took a table near the back wall and started taking food off of the tray. There was one hamburger, one order of French fries and one drink. The little old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half. He placed one half in front of his wife. Then he carefully counted out the French fries, divided them in two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife. He took a sip of the drink, and then his wife took a sip as the man began to eat his few bites.

Again, you could tell what people around the old couple were thinking. "That poor old couple." As the old man began eating his French fries, a young man stood up and walked to the old couples' table. He politely offered to buy another meal. The old man replied that they were just fine. They were used to sharing everything and, anyway, their appetites were not what they used to be.

Then the crowd noticed that the little old lady still hadn't eaten a thing. She just sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally sipped some of the drink. Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy them another meal. This time, the lady explained that no, they were used to sharing. As the little old man finished eating and was wiping his face neatly with a napkin, the young man could stand it no longer and asked one last time if he could buy them one more meal.

After being politely refused again, he finally asked the little old lady, "Ma'am, why aren't you eating. You said that you share everything. What is it that you are waiting for?" She answered, ………… "The teeth!"

Aaaagghhh! Yes I know it’s disgusting, but its probably not a true story and anyway it does illustrate the principle of sharing in a way that you will not forget. Will you?

Back to pain. As I said in the opening sentence, nobody enjoys pain. However, if you can just acknowledge what it is trying to tell you, but not allow it to knock you off track, then your marriage will survive and grow.

If you would like to read more of my ebook then please go immediately to this website www.themarriagesite.com

A Smart Woman's Guide To Dating, Relationships & Break Ups.Click Here!
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Friday, March 16, 2012

Child Custody and Seeing Your Kids - Visitation

Child custody has several forms, sole custody and joint custody. Sole custody means one parent gets physical as well as legal custody. Joint custody is another type of child custody, where both parents get the right to have a share in making decisions for the child. There is also a type of joint custody where the child gets to stay for some period of time with each of the parent. However, it is said that this can be a bit difficult for the child.

It is necessary that joint custody that both parents are co-operating with each other regarding decision making about the child. It all depends on how the divorce proceedings have been, in case of a bitter divorce and conflict; it might be better that sole custody of child is awarded to a single parent.

It is required by the state laws that whichever type of custody is awarded, it is necessary that it should be in the best interests of the child. Unlike in earlier times, when mother was taken as the correct person to raise a child, today the court looks at the fact and selects the parent who has been playing an active role in raising the child.

The court allows periodical visitation rights to the parent who has not been awarded physical custody of the child; these visits take place in the home of the parent who has not been given the physical custody. However, the court might not give any rights for visitation if there is fear of any physical harm or abuse in the history of parents, the court instead of denying totally might give supervised visitation charges.

In cases where there are charges of abuse, especially sexual abuse hurled at one another by each parent, the court can give further instructions for investigation in case it is in doubt of these charges. Though there have been a number of cases where accusation of abuse has been used to get more money or to harm the spouse’s reputation.

However, if the accusation of child abuse does not hold true in someone’s case, he should not be silent over the issue and should try to gain help from several organizations which provide advice, support and sometimes legal advice. One such organization is VOCAL (Victims of Child Abuse Laws).

According to the law, visitation rights and child support payments are different issues, therefore though visitation has not been allowed one is required to pay. The court, while giving the custody of the child might take a view of ‘in best interests of the child’ where it considers several factors.

Most times both parents agree that the mother should get custody, but times are changing across the board and men are gaining more custody recently.


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