FACTS WOMEN SHOULD KNOW ABOUT LOVE IN MARRIAGE

Are you getting married soon or are you just married? You need to know the following facts about love in marriage from the perspective of your spouse.

1.      What men call Love. The way your spouse sees love in relation to sex is quite different from the way you see it. Men see love as; Good Food, Good Sex, Submission, Financial Support, Respect, Ego Boosting, Care For Him, Loving His Mum, Acceptance of His Family, Romance, Good House and Neat Children. If you really want to show love to your husband, do not hesitate to do all these.

2.      Husband Love Grouping. Until you understand the kind of man you marry, you may not be able to handle him very well. Note this, you need not fight your husband, you just need to understand him.

3.      Romantic Men. These men see love as sex, they feel you have committed the greatest crime and are ready to use everything to fight you. If you must enjoy marriage with this kind of man, then be ready to satisfy them on the bed. Note that, sex is not optional in marriage, it is a mutual obligation. Never think you will only have it whenever you feel like, if you do that, you will destroy your home because 90% of men fall within this group.

4.      Traditional Men: They want you to uphold tradition. They expect you to respect, submit and honour them and their families. They want their food served like their mother used to cook it.

5.      Dining Men. They want good and timely food. They may not eat much, but get angry when you delay in serving their food.

6.      Family Men. They love members of their families, wants you to respect their cousins, uncles, and nephews and be accountable to them. They expect you to also be ready to respect and serve them.

7.      Insecure Men. You must praise-sing and hero-worship them. They resent correction or criticism no matter how constructive.

8.      Career Men. They want you to support their businesses, job ministry e.t.c. They expect you to supplement family finance. They may be stingy even to themselves but can spend hours on their job, and can even bring office files home during the weekends.

   

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MEETING THE NEEDS REQUIRED FOR A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE

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It is essential that we meet our spouse’s needs. When we come into a marriage relationship, you made it impossible for your spouse to have his or her needs met outside the marriage bond. If you don’t satisfy those needs inside the marriage bond, then the temptation is overwhelming to satisfy them outside of the marriage bond.

Most marital break-ups take place because the partners lack the awareness and the skills to meet the other’s need. If you want a happy home and a successful marriage, and the desire to make your home heaven on earth, you are going to have to understand your spouse*.

You are to change, learn and adapt. If you make effort, you will find that strengthening your marriage will bring you more rewards than you can imagine. A strong relationship with your spouse is vitally important. The only thing more important is our relationship with God. Real intimacy is the basis of a good marriage, not just sharing the same bed, but also having the same values and the same goals.

Without the above, you and your spouse will be talking to each other in foreign language. You will never agree, because each of you will be governed by different set of rules. If you want to reach the same destination, then both of you must follow the same road map!

Our expectations for our marriage were formed during the dating period. We were sensitive to one another’s needs and fell in love. Then the realities of marriage set in, and we started to take our partner for granted. We must come back to that sensitivity we had to each other’s needs during the dating relationship. We can learn to sensitive again, by recognizing our partner’s needs and meeting them.



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HUSBANDS, LOVE YOUR WIVES

Without asking a woman to love her husband, she will only respond to her husband’s love. Since marriage in its essence is an emotional relationship between a male and a female, and this emotion is love, the responsibility for the success or failure of a marriage weighs far heavier upon the man, than it does upon the woman. This is the design of God and it cannot be changed. It is the attempt to reverse roles and responsibility in marriage that has led to frequent breakdowns in the institution of marriage.

The most successful marriages are those that give both partners the opportunity to exercise their identity and roles in their interrelationship. For this to work, there must be a head. The man is the head, and the woman must be submissive or obedient to that head.

Take another look at your spouse. Learn to understand each other within the basic structure, which you really are. Listen to know yourself so you can fulfil the role for which you were intended.

Do not confuse yourself with your spouse nor expect from your spouse what you are. Marriage is not a competition, rather,it is complementarity.

    

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WHY SOME SINGLES DOUBLE DATE

Many singles go into different relationships at the same time due to reasons known to them. Though many men would accuse ladies of being greedy and out for self-aggrandisement, these ladies also have reasons. Even the bachelors are not left out.

The question is: Anything wrong about double dating?

The answer is relative because people take actions due to what they believe is good for them. Some ladies would say they double date to safeguard their emotions against eventualities, others do it for fun, a lot get involved unintentionally and are stuck, while a large number are just greedy.

The best approach to any affair is to check your happiness gauge. If you are still happy dating someone, you should stick on. Ironically, some singles are happy with more than a partner, so they stick to all of them. But then, the problem of choice arrives.

I would not really go against double dating.

    

FIVE BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN

1. Men love logic and like to discover and express fact, while women like to express their emotions and intuition.
2. A man loves to achieve goals, while a woman is more sensitive to the needs of others.
3. Men tend to be more objective, while women tend to be more personal. It is hard for women to watch football, if they don’t know anyone on the field. If they know personal fact facts about the players, they will enjoy watching more.
4. Men get their identity from what they do, while women get their identity fro their surroundings. She wants things neat and repaired, her home is part of her; its hard for her to leave the house if it is not in order.
5. Men tend to generalize, while women tend to be more detailed. A woman will remember what someone wore ten years ago. Some men don’t even remember what they wore yesterday.

Men can become more emotionally oriented, more able to meet the needs of a woman. A woman can become more logical and rational and better to meet the need of a man. The differences can be overcome if we will spend time at it.

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Wrong Perceptions Of Sex Outside Marriage

  

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If you ask me the question, is sex good or bad? I will say both. Yes, sex is good within the confines and context of marriage. And marriage refers to a legitimate union between a man and a woman. However, outside marriage, sex is a poison (so to say), subtle destroyer of marriage and marital success.

Many married people are getting their fingers burnt, their emotions battered, their reputation tarnished, the happiness in their marriages short-circuited because of sex outside marriage. Folks, it is possible for you to tow the path of honour by practicing self discipline with personal determination.

When you discipline your body as a married person committed to your spouse, you will find it easier to exercise self control in other areas of your life. This will make fidelity to your spouse easier since you have already learnt how to tame your body.

The following are some of the wrong perceptions of sex outside marriage:

·         Everyone is doing it, what’s the big deal? Let me do it too.

·         If I do it, my spouse will never found out.

·         Doing it, does not mean the end of my marriage and it will not cause problem to my marriage. After all, what you don’t see cannot hurt you.

·         Having sex makes me feel on top of the world.

·         Sex is an act of nature, which should be done anywhere, with any one, whenever you feel like it.

·         Abstinence from sex outside the marriage is a sign of weakness.

·         The way to show my success is to have sex outside marriage as much as possible.

·         Having sex with my partner shows I am cool and trendy.

·         Real men have sex when they feel like it.

·         The true value of a woman lies in the number of men she sleeps with.

All the above perceptions about sex outside marriage are wrong. Unfortunately, many married people have believed and fallen victim to these wrong ideas.

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COMMUNICATION IN MARRIAGE: MORE THAN VERBAL

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Communication is very important in every marriage relationship. It enables the couple to express their feelings and emotions to each other. It is the vehicle through which they convey their views on issues that concern them, thereby creating a sense of belonging and peace in the home.

 In marriage generally, all the talks about love or no love is centred on communication, 75% of which is non-verbal communication, which proves to be more powerful than the verbal type of communication. The facial communications, body communication, the sexual communication, are all forms of non-verbal communication in marriage. More so, effective communication demands that participants be skilled in these areas: clear thinking, careful listening, and careful reading of body language. It is not a case of trying to be defensive.

Sometimes in conversation, what people do, instead of listening to each other, is to think about what they are going to say next. This does not help effective communication. Communication is a typical language of love.

Messages are normally sent verbally (with words) and non-verbally (with gestures, tone of voice, words on a paper, facial expressions, body actions, gifts, half-sentences, or even a period of silence). Therefore, to reduce interpersonal conflicts, common in many marriages, the message sent verbally should be consistent with the message sent non-verbally.

Note that every marriage relationship is unique; and sometimes, you may have unique challenges; it is part of it! You will soon get used to your partner. Be patient!

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29 Consequences Of Sex Outside Marriage

1.      Shame, disgrace and embarrassment of oneself. This is worse off for the female.

2.      Loss of self-respect, dignity and honour.

3.      Cheapening of oneself before ones spouse.

4.      Risk of contracting of sexually transmitted diseases.

5.      Propensity to contract incurable diseases like the dreaded HIV/AIDS.

6.      Risk of future infertility as a result of untreated sexually transmitted diseases.

7.      Propensity to get pregnant or father a child outside your marriage.

8.      Open invitation to become a source of ridicule, mockery and stupid jokes.

9.      Guilt feelings of regret and mental trauma over a long period.

10.  Propensity to suspect and falsely accuse your partner.

11.  The tendency to be sexually abusive either as a victim or perpetrator.

12.  Loss of moral ethics and the possibility of becoming a sex maniac.

13.  Open invitation to troubles in your marriage.

14.  Loss of reputation before respectable people.

15.  Depletion of financial resources.

16.  Waste of time and energy in wrong relationships.

17.  Loss of talent and creative ability.

18.  Loss of focus and poor concentration.

19.  Emotional peril and heartbreak.

20.  Possibility of becoming morally bankrupt and corrupt.

21.  Propensity to desire and seek new sexual experience.

22.  Likelihood of never really being satisfied or content with your partner.

23.  Inexplicable feelings of filthiness and dirtiness.

24.  Morbid fear of the unknown.

25.  Loss of reputation before God Almighty.

26.  The danger of eternal damnation.

27.  Waste of money, time and energy in repairing troubled marriage.

28.  Negative effect and impressions on the children.

29.  Break up of marriage leading to divorce and the consequence effects of divorce on everyone involved.  

    

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Refocus Your Marriage

Amazing Grace for Married Couples: 12 Life-Changing Stories of Renewed Love (Amazing Grace)

I just had to share this story with you. Two businessmen attend the funeral of a mutual
colleague. One man says to the other, "How much did he leave?"
The other responds, "He left it all."
Everyone leaves it all. And nobody on their death bed wishes they spent more time acquiring more to leave. But I think most people, when they look into the eyes of their spouse for the last time, realize that it's their marriage, the primary relationship in their life, that is eternally
meaningful. Too many people realize in those parting moments that they should have done things differently.
We all know in the depths of our heart what's really important in life. But we forget and get distracted. Consider this short story a gentle reminder to REFOCUS ON YOUR MARRIAGE. Because at the end of your days, you will have a moment with your spouse that will define the meaning of your life. It's only a moment, but it takes a lifetime to prepare for it. Begin now!
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