DEALING WITH BAD MARRIAGE

Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay: A Step-by-Step Guide to Help You Decide Whether to Stay In or Get Out of Your Relationship

Are you REALLY dealing with your marital situation?

There are basically 2 ways to cope with a bad marriage. You can either IGNORE it or FOCUS on it. It's the same with any problem in life. Some people RUN from their problems. Other people FACE them.

The irony of this choice is that people who run from their problems seek RELIEF, but end up in PAIN. People who face their issues experience pain, but end up relieved. A problem doesn't go away because you run from it; it GETS WORSE. The EVENTUAL cost of dealing
with it escalates. We get exactly the problems we need in our life to fix the things about ourselves that need fixing.

In other words, your marriage crisis is not coincidental. It wasn't just bad luck. It's a sign that you have a weakness that needs work. And, if you ignore it, the pain will increase until you
finally say, "Okay, I'll deal with this."

It's your spouse's fault. I know. But your marital situation is reflective of some inner work that YOU have to do too. If you don't do it; you'll find yourself in this same situation again. It may not be with the same person, the details may not be immediately recognizable, but I promise you that the pain will not relent until you deal with whatever it is about YOU that's bringing this stress into your life. Deal with it. Don't run. "If things go wrong in the world," Carl Jung said, "something is wrong with ME. Therefore, if I am sensible, I shall put myself right first."

The worst pain comes from avoidance. The healing magic is ATTENTION. The only way out of your suffering is THROUGH IT. The problems in your life are like fingers pointing toward answers to your most crucial questions.

 I know it's your spouse's fault. But whatever is their fault is reflective of their work. The question for you is: What's your fixing? What role did you play in all this? And what can YOU do to improve the situation?

When a Bad Marriage Can Be Good for You

When Bad Things Happen to Good Marriages