ABOUT TO WED? – ARE YOU COMPARTIBLE

If you understand all the needs of body, mind and spirit, do you know whether your prospective mate also understands them? You must not only know your own particular needs for happiness in marriage but also discern the needs of your mate. You surely want your mate to be happy also. Unhappiness for one will mean unhappiness for both.

Many marriage ends up in unhappiness or divorce on the grounds of incompatibility. The importance of incompatibility in marriage cannot be over-emphasized. If two persons are not well suited as a team, the going can be difficult. A man and a woman who are not
well matched and yet teamed up in marriage would only bring hardship upon their marriage.

When mates have different interests, different tastes in friends, and recreational activities, and few things in common, the marital bonds come under great strain. Greater compatibility usually exists between two persons having similar backgrounds. Ofcourse, this does not mean it is advisable to marry very close or distant relatives, but family backgrounds do have much to do with the set of values people have.

When the backgrounds of both partners are similar, they usually find it easier to grow in love. However, persons with different backgrounds and origins can also make good adjustments in marriage, especially if both are mature emotionally.

Notwithstanding all the precautions taken, you must still remember this: Compatibility between two persons will never be perfect. Both will have shortcomings. Some they may discern before marriage; some they will become aware of later. What then?

It is not the shortcomings that themselves that makes marriages fail, but it is how the partner feels about them. Can you see that the good outweighs the flaws, or do you focus on the bad and harp on that? Are you flexible enough to make allowances, just as you need and want allowances to be made for you? Do you have this kind of love for the one you contemplate marrying? If not, it would be better for you not to marry that person.