Myth: Fantasy is a predictor of reality
There is absolutely no proof of this. People have wild fantasies all the time but do not wish to act out their fantasy in real life. They are a normal and healthy psychological outlet. Fantasy is a place where we do not have to adhere to the morals and rules of the culture. That’s why we have them!
Myth: If we have a fantasy about something, we are ready and willing to actually do it
For everyone but a few extremely mentally ill people, fantasy is simply what we enjoy thinking about. It is not necessarily what we want to actually do. It’s the one place in our lives where we can have what we want without consequence. The belief that others will think that fantasy is what we’d really like to do is one of the things that makes it difficult to share our fantasies with our sexual partners.
Myth: Sharing our sexual fantasies with our partners is dangerous
Many partners will be turned on by your fantasies and your willingness to share them. Others would simply rather not know. There is no right or wrong way to handle this issue. But find out what your partner’s wishes are in the fantasy department. If you are in relationship with a very judgmental partner, then there may be reason to worry about being judged. But if you are seeking to improve your sex life with that partner, then your feelings about being judged will eventually need to be addressed. In evolving healthy relationships, sharing is a safe thing to do.
Myth: The content of fantasy is self-explanatory and can be taken at face value. For example, if one is fantasizing about a rape scene it means they want to rape or be raped
No, most fantasies are an attempt to satisfy a basic emotional need. In the case of a rape fantasy it could be that the person having the fantasy of being raped may be satisfying a need to be fiercely desired or loved. Or someone having the fantasy of raping may be satisfying a need for more power over their own lives. It may be a conscious or unconscious need, but the bottom line is that fantasy is an attempt to meet our needs and is a normal healthy psychological mechanism. Having a rape fantasy does not mean we are on our way to being a rapist or asking to be a victim!
There is nothing wrong with playing a role from time to time just to stir up your love making. There are those of us who have fetishes and they need to be satisfied.
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