Although dating provides opportunities for emotional closeness and teaches young men and women how to be caring and attentive to each other, it does not routinely involve sex. Most times your date or partner may actually ask for sex. Initially it may be casual and occasional, it can become direct and frequent. At this point, the issue of sex and sexual discussions will come up almost always in your relationship. The issue can degenerate into causing arguments and fights between dating couples. At the worse scenario, it can lead to date rape.This kind of situation can put a strain on the relationship and fights between two people that should be enjoying each others company. Many young women are coerced into having sexual intercourse by someone they are dating or have their safety seriously compromised by risk-taking partner anytime they are alone. These young women are especially vulnerable in a society where males assume authority over females.
If your date is pushing you to have sexual intercourse when you don’t want to, what should you do? Well, you could do any of the following:
Sit down with your partner/ date and review your relationship. Talk about your not being ready to bring sex into the relationship. You also need to get a definite response and promise from him on not asking for sex repeated in the relationship. Until he gives such as promise, stop going out on dates with him.
Anytime you are with him or you are set to go out on a date, do not dress to look sexy, instead, look attractive. Exposing parts of your body might bring on your partner or atleast, put ideas into his head. This might lead to his being unable to control himself. Wearing sexy dress might be sending wrong impressions- especially non-verbal messages.
Avoid the use of alcohol because they increase your vulnerability to sexual abuse. If a dating partner uses drugs or alcohol, persuading him to stop will be good, or where things starts to get out of hand, get out of the relationship altogether.
Perhaps the best thing to do is not spending a lot of time alone with your partner. Spending time alone might lead to touching and kissing for long periods of time. This ofcourse can only lead to what you don’t want- sex.
A woman’s inability to communicate assertively may result in unwanted sexual intercourse. Be assertive, let your “no” be “no”. Making a game of saying yes or no to sexual intercourse is dangerous. Someone almost always get hurt.
Get somebody older to talk to your partner about sex and the consequence of having sexual intercourse when both of you are not ready for such consequence.
Having sexual intercourse with your partner (especially when you don’t want it) is never a way to show or prove love to your partner. Don’t be deceived, the proof of love is not doing what you don’t want to do. Both of you share the responsibility for the quality of the relationship, you don’t have to prove anything, just like your partner does not have to prove anything.
Where applying the above advices does not lead to change in your partner, then, opt out of the relationship. Yes get out fast. If you remain in such a relationship, it might lead to date rape. Remember, rape is never your fault.
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