Here are some situations where spouses have been found to continuously nag, and the reactions of their partner to counter the repulsive behaviour. The names have been changed for obvious reason.
1. The busy schedules of Paul and Britney leave them with little or no time to savour each other’s company during the week. As a result, they are restricted to visiting each other only on weekends. This has been their routine for at least six months, but Britney no longer looks forward to spending time with her fiancé during the weekends when they are off work.
Hear Britney, “when we met, he did not strike me as someone who nags until few months into our relationship when I noticed this unusual habit. He would whine tirelessly if I as much as drop a plate hastily or if I do not shut the door properly. It becomes worse if I forget to pick up his clothes at the laundry. Sometimes the whining would go on for days and he would not relent until he chooses to.”
What Britney did was to at first spend less time with Paul, and after a while when things did not changed, she quit the relationship. I can’t imagine any girl getting married to a man who nags at every opportunity. Choose wisely if you are in similar relationship.
2. Now, how about Joy and Jake. Joy is adept at grumbling and Jake makes no pretence about her now frequent dissatisfaction. Hear Jake, “one day I went to her house and she was upset I arrived a few minutes later than I promised to. I explained to her that there was a bit of hold-up on the road. I spent the next few hours pacifying her, yet she would not bulge. In the few days after the incident, she reminded me of that particular incident and many others more times than I can accurately recollect. At the end, I ditched her.”
3. Micheal appears to be in the same boat with Jake. “Vanessa is becoming a pain in the neck. Sometimes I am afraid to make a stopover at either her office or residence because she nearly always has something to find fault with. The last time I was in her office, she picked a fight with me because I did not bring her lunch from her favourite restaurant. All my pleas that I did not have enough money to cover the expenses fell on deaf ears. That was the last straw, I stayed away from her and did not return any of her several calls. God, it was difficult, but I cannot get married and be afraid to come home after work or keep looking after my back all the time.”
4. “My man is desperately seeking a fight and I am going to give it to him,” says Laola. “I do not like the fact that he seems not to agree with everything I do. He criticises my actions all the time and he does not spare me even if strangers are around. I have told him many times not to speak to me rudely in public but he won’t listen. May be it’s because I keep quiet anytime it happens. I am determined that the next time there is a repeat of such, I will have no option but to give it back to him. I don’t know how long I can continue to suffer in silence.”
If your relationship is in anyway similar to these situations above, you need to take a stand. Evaluate the direction your relationship is going, is it the direction you want? If not, what effort have you put in to change it? Where the efforts have not resulted in positive changes, may be it is time to quit. If you are already getting troubles from your partner in your relationship, don’t keep hoping that things will change- when infact, it is getting worse, it will not change after your marriage.
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