Love Habits You must Learn

Part of relationship wisdom dictates that expressing the right thing during the rough patches like after a job loss or a devastating death is proof that you and your spouse have a strong bond, right? You are quite wrong.

What you say during key moments in a relationship can determine the happiness and health of your union. Researchers who studied couples’ interactions say that the happiest pairs are those who respond positively to their partner’s successes. Below are very important love habits that you must learn in order to have a “swell” relationship. Read on for when to use these crucial words your guy is craving.

1.      Favourable feedback does more than just flatter. It validates accomplishments, but it also validates your relationship by showing that you get what is important to each other. Talking to your guy about what occurred lets him relive it a bit, only this time he’ll associate the positive rush with you. If you are not stoked by what your guy considers a win, it conveys that you may be jealous, threatened, or just not interested. Couples who are not thrilled by each other’s good fortune are more likely to break up down the line.

2.      Show that you are psyched. Some victories are easy to identify, like a new job, but tiny triumphs are worth touting too. Give him emotional applause when he mentions getting a compliment, like post project praise from his boss. Also, appreciate how he deals with annoying situations. Interpersonal conflicts can be extra stressful for guys, so hearing that they handled one well can be very rewarding. For example, to make your response resonate beyond a pat “congrats”, ask for details or reaffirm how hard he worked on something. Another way to escalate his excitement is to point out a specific trait of his that played a part in the result achieved.

3.      Get him to boost you. You deserve kudos too. If guy isn’t effusive about your achievements, it could be that he doesn’t know how important his support is. So, cue him like this: When something big is brewing, give him notice, like by counting down the days. Or just say, ”Something great happened, and I want to celebrate it with you.” That lets him know it is a big deal. When he does share a success, let him know later- like next day or in bed post celebratory sex- that you appreciate him being so happy for you. If you say he did something right, he will remember that and be more likely to repeat it.