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Fix Your Marriage

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

A Husband Who Gains Deep Respect From His Wife

The wife should have deep respect for her husband. Respect is not gained by merely ordering someone to respect you. You must earn respect by how you speak and act and by what you are. The husband must however be diligent to merit this respect; otherwise, it will be very difficult for his wife to comply with this instruction.
How can a husband fulfil his role so as to gain such respect?
Well, the husband is considered as the HEAD of the family and his wife is expected to be in subjection to her husband in everything. Will this arrangement really contribute to happiness in the household? Some women will speak out against this describing it as male chauvinism, that is, a vainglorious or exaggerated view that some men have toward their position in relation to women.
The husband has to learn how headship is to be exercised. The husband must not exploit his wife, but has to be self-sacrificing in his love. In this way husbands ought to love their wives as their own body. He who loves is wife love himself, for no man ever hated his own flesh; but he feeds and cherishes it.
A great problem however is that, due to imperfection and inborn selfishness, there are times when a husband, while wanting to be respected as the head of the family, fails to show the needed love and consideration for his wife. Often a wife will say that she doesn’t feel loved by her husband, that his only concern is his own pleasure and satisfaction.
Also, some wives complain that their husbands are domineering. Perhaps this has resulted from the wife’s attempt to usurp the husband’s headship, with him resisting such usurpation. Or, the man may have grown up in an environment where many husbands are arrogant and domineering. Regardless of the cause, such abuse of headship gains the respect of no one.
On the other hand, instead of abusing headship, some husbands abdicate it. They just pass all the decision-making over to their wives. Or, while telling their wife ‘not to rush them’, they procrastinate so much that family interests suffer.
Husbands must know that, they will gain respect from their wife if they show themselves steady and strong and able to make decisions. But that does not mean that no one else in the household is to be consulted or that your wife’s opinion is not to be given serious consideration just because it does not happen to agree with yours.
Husbands should know that they are not perfect, you will make mistakes, and when you do, you will want your wife’s understanding. When those situations arise, the wife whose husband is humble will find it easier to respect his headship than will one whose spouse is proud. Never be bossy or tyrannical in exercising headship, but manifest humility. 
 

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