From Anger to Intimacy: How Forgiveness Can Transform Your Marriage
Why Talking Is Not Enough: Eight Loving Actions That Will Transform Your Marriage
You have some changes you'd like to see in your spouse and your marriage, right? And if I were a betting man, I'd bet that your spouse has some ideas too! So what are you waiting for? Are you waiting:
• For your spouse to make the first move?
• For your spouse to be more open to it?
• To feel love?
What most people should know is that, the feeling of love comes before we express love. And in the beginning of a relationship, that's what happens. You fall in love and then you do acts of love. Your feelings inspire your actions.
But mature love asks more of you. To create a strong lasting marriage, you first choose loving actions. Your feelings will follow. After all, you don't jog two miles or skip dessert because you feel healthy. You feel healthy because you jogged two miles and skipped dessert. So too, when it comes to your marriage, your actions dictates your feelings!
Go back in time, when you fell in love, it was easy to give to your spouse, and you probably
enjoyed thinking up new ways to express how you felt through your giving. Remember surprising your spouse with something you knew they wanted? Remember?
Within the next 48 hours, give your spouse a gift. Now here's the key. It can't be just any gift. Your spouse has to feel YOU in it. You see, the most important part of a present is that it embodies the presence of the one who gave it to you. This is not a matter of money. This takes time, thought, and energy.
What gift would tickle the soul of your spouse?
What could you buy or make for your spouse that?
Would show how much of YOU went into the gift?
Don't just buy anything. Make sure it's your spouse's favorite color, made in their hometown,
or something they mentioned last week. Stick with this for a minute, like I said before, this takes some deep thought, but I promise that if you make a habit of this kind of giving it will transform your marriage.
What could you give your spouse that would make them glow and look at you with intense
appreciation? Suggestions might be; did they recently mention they wanted something? What's your spouse's favorite dessert? Favorite flower? Favorite sports team (tickets to a game)? Favorite author (new book)? Favorite musician (CD or tickets)?
Inside your spouse is a child that wants to be understood. If your spouse is like most people,
he/she does NOT feel understood even by you. When you get the right gift for your spouse, they will feel understood, and connected to you, the giver. When you give someone a gift that says, "I know you, I understand you," you can "melt" them.
No comments:
Post a Comment