Have you suffered from hearing the words, “You’re a really nice guy, but I only like you as a friend,” from a woman who you would do (or may, infact have already done) just about anything and everything for- only to turn around and watch her date ( or even chase) a guy who treats her like she is nothing special?
Then, you are probably a nice guy. Are you stumped wondering why she would date a guy who treats her bad when she could have you who would treat her like a princess and give her everything she wants?
I am going to reveal some things (you may call them reasons or secrets) for this kind of attitude from women to nice guys like yourself. You might not like them though.
“Nice” equates with boring and predictable. Check the dictionary and you will find other words like: pleasant, agreeable, satisfactory, precise. All these words are average words- nothing exceptional, exciting, not even sexy. Women want to date a man who has much confidence, too passionate and exciting. Not you. Yea! Yea!! You are a nice guy, so sweet and always there for women. Or you are such a good guy- kind, thoughtful, generous, honest, loyal. Well, women will tell you that there is no chemistry between the two of you. You just don’t turn her on.
The fact is, Mr Nice Guy, you cannot bore a woman into feeling attracted to you or into wanting to date you. And as obvious as that sound, if you are one of those guys I described, that is exactly what you are trying to do. And it won’t work.
Please, understand that I am not suggesting that you mistreat women or disrespect them in any way. What I want to say is this: The nice guy cares too much, too soon. He has made the woman too important and too valuable and it shows in everything he says and does. He is too available, too eager to please, too accommodating, and he gives too much. By doing all these things, he has made himself appear desperate, insecure, needy of this woman’s attention, affection, and approval- and he has stripped himself of any value in her eyes.
After all, if he is already doing and giving everything, without her doing or giving anything- why would she value him? She probably won’t. She is not going to value him any more than he values himself. What she is going to do is look for someone else, someone who she perceives as being more worthy, more confident, and more valuable.
This is how it works. Once you need something, or you want it too badly, you forfeit your strength and lose all power of negotiate. You are in a position of weakness and you are perceived as weak. Someone (or something) else is in control of you, the situation, and its outcome. Men in this situation appear to be anything but confident, strong and exciting.
The secret to why the cocky guy wins with women, over the nice guy, is that he is perceived as being a stronger, more confident guy with more value. How? He never invest everything- his entire being, ego, and self-worth in what one woman’s response or reaction to him is. He doesn’t gush with compliments; he isn’t always available; he doesn’t give too much; and he knows he isn’t going to die if a woman says “no” to him. More, his attitude is, yeah, I’d like to go out with you, but if I can’t, that’s OK- I’m a busy guy, with exciting things going on, and lots of other options.
Things that are easily acquired, obtained, or maintained, without any effort or sacrifice, lack value.......it is human nature.
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