10 Ways to Recharge Your Romance Part 1

Early in a relationship the romance factor is very high.  The romance is seemingly effortless and it seems as though the romance will never fade.  You may find, however, that over time the romance does fade and the relationship doesn’t seem as exciting as it did in the beginning.  This is natural as a couple becomes more familiar with each other they begin to make less of an effort in the romance department.  When this happens it is time for the couple to start making a conscious effort to recharge their romance.

Recreating your first date can be one way to recharge your romance.  Both partners probably put a tremendous amount of effort into their first date and it was probably an incredibly romantic night for both of you.  Reenacting this first date by not only returning to the sight of the first date but also putting the same effort into preparing for the date can help to recharge your romance by reminding you of how exciting your relationship was in the beginning.

Leaving your work at the office is another way to recharge your romance.  If you are constantly allowing your work life to interfere with your romantic life it is time to put your romance ahead of your career.  While it is okay to talk to your partner about work and how your day went, obsessing over work is not acceptable and can put out the fire in your romance rather quickly.  

Giving your partners flowers or small gifts for no reason can also recharge your romance.  This lets them know that you still think about them when the two of you are apart and that your love for them is always on your mind.  The gifts don’t have to be expensive or extravagant but if they truly come from the heart they will help to recharge your romance.

Another way to recharge your romance is to be spontaneous.  Romance often fades when a relationship becomes routine and the partners begin to take each other for granted.  Spicing things up by suggesting new activities on a whim can reintroduce the romance in your relationship.  Too much planning and debate about what to do or where to go can put a damper on the activity or trip before it even takes place.  Excessive planning can make something seem dull while spontaneity has the opposite affect of making the activity seem more exciting.  

Spending time apart can also recharge a romance.  It may sound counterproductive but having your own activities and interests keeps you from becoming bored with your partner.  Spending time together is very important but spending time apart is equally important because this time apart gives you the chance to grow as an individual which can enhance your relationship. 

Quality time together, just like time apart, can also help to recharge your romance.  You need alone time as a couple to reconnect and nurture your romance.  A night out on the town for just the two of your or a quiet night alone at home can be equally effective for recharging your romance.  Without this time together a couple will not have the opportunity to express themselves to their partner in a romantic way. 

Incessant arguing can destroy the romance in a relationship.  If you find that you and your partner are arguing constantly or over every little thing, it’s time to really evaluate the relationship and figure out why you are arguing so much.  Believe it or not, you may find that this arguing is a subconscious attempt to try to recharge your romance.  Arguing invokes passion and you may be trying to bring that passion into your relationship.  If you find yourself doing this, it’s time to realize that the arguing is having the opposite effect and that you have to stop this unhealthy pattern.  Once you realize that there are other ways to recharge a romance your arguing will subside. 

Arousing Love

What Love Tastes Like

Separating Love From Lust

Merriam-Webster’s dictionary defines love as, “strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties,” and defines lust as, “an intense longing”.  These two conflicting definitions help to separate love from lust.  By definition alone the two differ in that, love is based on an affinity while lust is based solely on desire.  The two also differ in how they affect a relationship but sometimes it becomes difficult to separate the two because lust can exist in the presence of love.  Analyzing a loving relationship and a lustful relationship separately will help us to learn to distinguish love from lost. 

Love has a positive affect on a relationship because when love exists in a relationship both partners hold the happiness of the other in a high esteem and place the happiness of their partner ahead of their own desires.  Love affects relationships in a myriad of ways including how the couple interacts, the leisure activities they participate in and the longevity of the relationship.  In a loving relationship the couple behaves thoughtfully towards each other and is mindful of their partner’s feelings.  In this type of relationship, each partner places themselves ahead of their partner and they strive to treat each other lovingly and with respect.  Also, in a loving relationship the leisure activities that the couple participates in are based on a mutual love and respect.  Activities are chosen with careful consideration to the partner’s feelings.  In a loving relationship the partners typically engage in activities that they either either strongly agree on or those that are a compromise.  While a couple in a loving relationship may not always be in complete agreement regarding leisure activities, they strive to compromise to ensure that both partners have the opportunity to engage in their preferred activities.  Finally a relationship that is based on love is usually long lasting.  The presence of love in the relationship enables a couple to work through any problems or difficulties that arise in the relationship and helps the relationship to endure.  The thoughtfulness and caring that exists in a loving relationship helps the relationship to grown and endure. 

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Conversely a lustful relationship may not necessary have a negative affect on a relationship but it also may not be as positive as a loving relationship.  Similarly to love, lust also affects a relationship in regard to how the couple interacts, the activities the couple participate in and the durability of the relationship.  The primary difference between a lustful and a loving relationship is that while in a loving relationship the partners place a high value on the happiness of their partner, a lustful relationship is one in which the partners are consumed by their own desires.  The partners in a lustful relationship place their needs and wants ahead of their partner’s desires.  This alone is enough to make their partner feel disrespected and to not place a high value on the relationship.  The fundamental selfishness that exists in a lustful relationship trickles down and affects the activities in which the couple participates.  While those in a loving relationship strive to compromise and find activities that they both enjoy, those in a lustful relationship are more prone to insist on participating in activities that they enjoy regardless of whether or not their partner will also enjoy this activity.  One final characteristic of a lustful relationship is that it is typically short lived.  A lustful relationship is driven by passion and desire and once a goal is reached the partner becomes no longer desirable.  With nothing else to drive the relationship it soon begins to wane and the couple often separates.  Lustful relationships are characterized by a selfishness and lack of respect that typically results in a short and tumultuous relationship. 

Complicating the issue of separating love and lust is that it is often possible for lust to exist within a loving relationship.  The existence of lust within a loving relationship is often driven by a desire to become closer to the partner.  This is a natural occurrence as a physical relationship is extremely important in a romantic relationship.  When lust exists within a loving relationship it is not necessarily detrimental to the relationship.  As long as the lust does not take over the love and become the dominant characteristic it can be a healthy part of the relationship.  The opposite is not true, however.  A lustful relationship can not also include love.  The primary characteristic of selfishness does not enable love to factor into a lustful relationship.  Placing your own desires ahead of your partner’s precludes the formation of a loving bond.  While it’s not possible to have a lustful relationship with the existence of love a little bit of lust mixed into a loving relationship can lead to a closer connection and stronger bond for the couple.  

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Love and Lust 

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Separating love from lust can be complicated but the key factors to remember is that a loving relationship is one based on selflessness and thoughtfulness while a lustful relationship is characterized by selfishness and thoughtlessness.  These fundamental differences often affect whether or not a relationship will be long lasting and will endure the test of time.  The separation of love from lust is further complicated by the fact that lust can exist in a loving relationship.  The opposite, however, is not possible.  Understand that lust can factor into a loving relationship and have a positive affect on the relationship is key to understanding the differences between love and lust.

Family: How to Spend Quality Time with Your Kids

Are you a mother who is also a career-oriented woman?  If you are, you may have number of different issues tugging at your heart.  In today’s society, many mothers are fearful of putting their family first, especially in certain circumstances, in fear of losing their jobs.  With that in mind, there are many mothers who are fearful that their children will grow up resenting them due to the amount of time they spent focused on work. 

While being a mother and a career-oriented woman, all at the same time, may seem like an impossible task, it is a task that you can more than perform.  What you need to remember, although difficult as it may be, is that you should be a mom first.  However, that doesn’t mean that you should just toss your workload to the side and not care.  There are a number of different ways that you can go about being a good parent, while still brining home an income.  One of those ways involves spending quality time with your child or children when you are not working. 

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One of the best ways for you to go about spending quality time with your child or children is by creating a schedule for yourself.  This schedule can be used to outline any important events that you and your child or children have planned.  Although your schedule does not need to be followed right down to the letter, it is important to have one. Mothers who create schedules for themselves are more likely to follow through with their plans.

Speaking of your plans, you may be wondering what you should do to spend quality time with your child or children.  Of course, it is important to keep your child’s age in mind. A child who is three years old will prefer different activities than one who is nine or ten years old.  With that in mind, there are a number of different activities that many children, including those of all ages, love.  A few of those activities are outlined below for your convenience.

One activity that you may want to think about doing with your child or children is taking them to the zoo. Regardless of where you live, you should have a zoo within a reasonable driving distance to your home.  Zoo trips are fun and exciting, as they often last all day.  What is nice about zoo trips is that they are fun and educational all at the same time.  This means that your quality time can benefit your child or children in more ways than one.

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Another activity that you may want to think about doing is taking your child or children to the movies.  Whether your child is three years old or fifteen years old, there should be a movie playing that would likely interest them.  Going to the movies is nice, as many children view it as a treat.  For more affordable movie tickets, you may want to think about going to see a movie with your family during the daytime.

Additional activities that many children enjoy are those of park visits, museum visits, and sporting events.  In all honestly, it really doesn’t matter what you do.  To your child or children, how matter what their age, they will likely just appreciate the fact that you took some time away from work to have fun with them, no matter what the activity.
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How to Become a Better Listener Part 2

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Asking questions that relate to the speaker’s presentation can also help you to become a better listener.  It’s important to ask questions without allowing the formulation of the questions to interfere with your listening.  If you latch onto one of the speaker’s key points and spend the rest of the conversation thinking up a question you will miss a lot of information.  However, if you ask your questions immediately when they arise, you can have them answered in the context of the presentation without having it affect your listening abilities.  Asking questions is an important part of listening because it lets the speaker know that you are following what he is saying and that you are interested in learning more about the topic. 

Being mindful of your body language is another way to be a good listener.  Be sure to not engage in body language that tells the speaker that you are not interested in their words.  Crossing your arms, avoiding eye contact and wincing are all ways that you can send a message to a speaker that you are not listening carefully to them.  These mannerisms can result in the conversation being cut short because the speaker does not feel you are interested in what they are saying. 


Become a Better Listener.(Brief Article): An article from: Association Management


Practicing your listening skills is another way to become a better listener.  Make a conscientious effort to apply your listening skills each time you speak to someone or attend a presentation.  You can practice your listening skills by remaining completely focused on the conversation or presentation, not trying to guess what the speaker is about to say, creating mental images of the spoken words and asking pertinent questions to affirm what you have just heard.  Each time you have the opportunity to listen try to work on these elements. 

While listening skills are not as widely practiced as speaking skills, they are just as important to a conversation.  Being a good listener will not only ensure that you are receiving information but will affirm to the speaker that you care about the information being presented and that you understand their message.

How to Become a Better Listener Part 1

Listening is an integral part of the communication process but it is also the part that is overlooked most frequently.  Many people spend a great deal of time polishing their speaking skills but put little or no effort into becoming a better listener.  The art of listening really isn’t very difficult and you can improve your listening skills in just a few simple steps. 

Perhaps the most important tip for being a better listener is to give the speaker your undivided attention.  Be sure to concentrate on the speakers words and resist the temptations to tune out their message.  While speaking on the phone many people participate in other activities such as checking email, reading newspapers and other activities that distract from the conversation.  Even in a face to face situation many listeners zone out by either thinking about their response to the speaker or daydreaming about something completely off topic.  By allowing yourself to be distracted, you are not listening as well as you could be.  Even just a small amount of distraction could result in you missing a critical point of the speaker’s presentation.  Focusing 100% on the speaker, however, will ensure that you are listening well and taking in all of the pertinent information. 

Be a Better Listener

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Part of being a good listener is making sure that everything you hear comes directly from the speaker and not from your interpretation of their words.  This means that as the speaker is talking, listen to the words as they are being spoken instead of trying to guess the point that the speaker is trying to make.  Many people are guilty of jumping to conclusions this way and this hurts their listening ability.  People who do this often don’t hear the speaker’s message because it is blocked out by their own assumptions.  Good listeners take in information as the words are spoken instead of thinking ahead and forming their own conclusions. 

Creating mental images of the speaker’s words is another way to become a better listener.  This visualization process allows you to really comprehend the words you are hearing.  Visualization techniques can enhance the way that people process information.  These mental images will help you to retain the information you have just heard and this enhanced comprehension makes you a better listener. 

The good listener: better relationships through better communication [Why people don't listen]. 

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 To your marriage success

Dr Aphys Fade