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Saturday, October 16, 2010

10 Signs of a Cheating Spouse

Do you suspect that your husband or wife is cheating on you?  If you think that your spouse is cheating, you may be looking for confirmation.  Before you take steps to start spying on your spouse or before you decide to hire the services of a costly private investigator, read the signs below to see if your spouse may truly be cheating on you.

1 – A Change in Physical Appearance

Men and women who cheat often want to impress or entice the individual they are having inappropriate relations with.  When doing so, they often change or improve their appearance.  If your spouse starts paying more attention to their weight or buys new clothes, they may be having an affair.

2 – Distance or Lack of Communication

Until you recently started noticing a problem, how was your communication with your spouse?  If your spouse has recently stopped talking to you or distanced themselves from you at home, there is a good chance that they may be cheating on you.  This is because they may be afraid of making a mistake and talking about their affair or they may already be discussing their problems with someone else.

3 – They Constantly Work Late

Depending on your spouse and his or her career, they really may have to work late.  With that said, be on the lookout for changes and use your best judgment.  Has your husband or wife all of a sudden started working late?  In terms of using your best judgment, know what careers often call for late nights, such as lawyers, doctors, and so forth.

4 – They Spend Too Much Time with Friends

Spending time with friends does not always signal a cheater.  In fact, healthy relationships also depend on healthy outside friendships. With that said, be sure to use your best judgment.  Look for the appearance of new friends or an increased amount of time.  Has your husband or wife gone from spending one night a week with friends to three or more? 

5 – You Don’t Know Where They Are

When you are married, there is never really any reason why you shouldn’t know where your spouse is, especially late at night or for long periods of time.  If you do not know, chances are your spouse is cheating.  When they arrive home, they better have a good reason for being late or not letting you know where they were.

6 – You Hear Rumors

Many men and women are not careful about cheating. This often involves them telling someone or someone seeing them out on a date.  In these types of situations, people often talk.  Listen to what you hear.  If people are telling you that your spouse is cheating, it might be time to start listening.

7 – No Sex

Has your relationship recently become sex-free or has the sex that you do have decreased in intensity and in frequency.  If so, there is a good chance that your spouse is cheating on you.  Men and women who get sex elsewhere don’t always need to have it again when they return home.

8 – You Are Accused of Cheating

In today’s society, cheating is a major concern.  If your spouse accuses you of cheating, have you been displaying behavior that may lead them to that conclusion?  If you haven’t, there is a good chance that they are accusing you of cheating to make themselves feel less guilty.

9 – Hearing the Phrase “We are Just Friends”

The “just friends,” phrase is a big sign of a cheater.  As with all other friendships, it is important to use your best judgment.  If the friend of the opposite sex and are they are a newly acquired friend?  If so, something may be up.

10 – A Bad Feeling

Bad feelings are not something that should be easily dismissed.  If you have reason to believe that your husband or wife is cheating, they may be.  If you do not want to be in a relationship with a cheater, it is important for you to follow your heart. Take additional steps to see if they are truly cheating.  These steps may involve hiring a private investigator or spying.Catch Your Cheating Spouse or Partner.










Let's Be Realistic About Cheating Spouses   With Eyes Wide Open: Learn to Read the Signs of Infidelity and Catch a Cheating Spouse  Cell Phone Spy Software Platinum Suite Cheating Spouse


Warning Signs: How to Know if Your Partner Is Cheating-and What to Do About It.

28 Tell-Tale Signs of a Cheating Spouse

Friday, October 15, 2010

A Man's Secrets to Successful Online Dating

People have taken to online dating like a duck takes to water…because it works…or, at least, it can work.  Women are, in general, terrified of meeting a man that she has been chatting with online.  All they have heard about are the scary things that can happen…and, I must say, they have a right to be careful to the extreme.  That’s not only wise but vital.  So what’s a nice guy to do?  You aren’t a pervert, a sexual predator, or a weirdo.  You are just a nice guy looking for “the” girl for you. 

You must be patient.  Don’t press her for personal information like her real name or where she lives.  Keep your conversations light and fun until she feels comfortable talking with you online.  Don’t try to rush her into meeting face-to-face.  She will think you are desperate or a pervert.  Patience.  Patience. Patience. 

Be absolutely honest about your physical appearance and job.  A good relationship has never been, and will never be, built on lies and deceit.  Eventually she will find out the truth anyway and there you are back at square one. 

A picture really is worth a thousand words.  Post many pictures of yourself doing your everyday activities and make them full body shots, not just head shots.  If you were dating a girl in the real world she wouldn’t just see your head. 

Once the discussion has been opened about meeting face-to-face for the first time, suggest that you meet in a very public place, during daylight hours  and that she bring a friend with her.  After all, you have nothing to hide.  You’ve told her the truth about yourself and she has already seen a lot of pictures of you.  The only thing left is to make her feel safe meeting you.
  

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Actively Listening to your Child


Communicating with our children can be a difficult task at times.  We feel like they're not listening to us; they feel like we're not listening to them.  Good listening and communications skills are essential to successful parenting.  Your child's feelings, views and opinions have worth, and you should make sure you take the time to sit down and listen openly and discuss them honestly.

It seems to be a natural tendency to react rather than to respond.  We pass judgment based on our own feelings and experiences.  However, responding means being receptive to our child's feelings and emotions and allowing them to express themselves openly and honestly without fear of repercussion from us.  By reacting, we send our child the message that their feelings and opinions are invalid.  But by responding and asking questions about why the child feels that way, it opens a dialog that allows them to discuss their feelings further, and allows you a better understanding of where they're coming from.  Responding also gives you an opportunity to work out a solution or a plan of action with your child that perhaps they would not have come up with on their own.  Your child will also appreciate the fact that maybe you do indeed understand how they feel. 

It's crucial in these situations to give your child your full and undivided attention.  Put down your newspaper, stop doing dishes, or turn off the television so you can hear the full situation and make eye contact with your child.   Keep calm, be inquisitive, and afterwards offer potential solutions to the problem. 

Don't discourage your child from feeling upset, angry, or frustrated.  Our initial instinct may be to say or do something to steer our child away from it, but this can be a detrimental tactic.  Again, listen to your child, ask questions to find out why they are feeling that way, and then offer potential solutions to alleviate the bad feeling.

Just as we do, our children have feelings and experience difficult situations.  By actively listening and participating with our child as they talk about it, it demonstrates to them that we do care, we want to help and we have similar experiences of our own that they can draw from.  Remember, respond - don't react. 

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Secrets Of Marriage: Learn To Forgive Your Spouse

The closer you are to someone, the more likely you are to step on their toes. And being married to someone certainly puts you in close quarters. So the chances are good that you and your spouse have sore feet. The point is that it's normal for you and your spouse to err and for those "misses" to cause hurt...sometimes serious hurt. Did your spouse hurt you? Have you made mistakes that hurt your spouse? Except in the case of physical abuse, you can "move on" from anything. In fact, your marriage can end up even better!


I know...you're probably thinking, "Better? How could it be better than before we screwed up?" It can be better, but you have to do one thing first. You have to forgive. What does it really mean to forgive?


Many people will say, "I forgive you," but continue to harbor anger in their heart. Some people say the words, but it's obvious from their actions that nothing's changed. Other people will say "I forgive you" but what they really mean is, "I don't want to talk about this. I can't deal with this. I'm turning you off." And so the 3 magic words come out and form a wall that shuts out their spouse. True, they're not angry, but that's because they've shut down all emotion and refuse to reconnect.


Saying "I forgive you" is an entirely different ball game than truly forgiving. Look carefully at the word "FORGIVE." It tells you what it means. "FOR-GIVE"...in other words, to  GIVE as you did beFORE. That's true forgiveness. When you GIVE of yourself like you did beFORE you were hurt, then you know you've forgiven. When you stand as close to your spouse as you stood the day your feet got stepped on...that's forgiveness.


That's not easy to do. But it is possible. You can forgive each other and move on. And once you forgive, you'll see that your marriage will be better than it was before. You'll be happy that the mistake was made (in a strange way) because you'll realize that you would never have achieved the love you finally did without that mistake as your catalyst.


Did you know that when a broken bone heals it's stronger than it was before it was broken? You too can be stronger than before things broke down between you and your spouse. Did you ever make love after a big fight? Did you ever think after you made-up, "Hey, this is great? We should fight more often." (Ha Ha)








Saturday, October 2, 2010

From Troubled Marriage To Personal Happiness

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If you could just be happy, right? But how do you get there? The path from a troubled marriage to personal happiness is not so simple, is it? Have you ever have this feeling about your marriage, "I've got to get out of this marriage. I've got to find happiness for myself."

You are not alone in this type of thought. In fact, it's quite common for people in an unhappy marriage to think that happiness is just on the other side of divorce. It's ironic. When we're single, we think we'll be happy when we meet someone. Once we're married, we think we'll be happy when we're single.

But you know what? You can't be happy alone. Your life is meant to be part of another life. It was for this same reason that God created, from Adam’s rib the woman Eve. If you focus on your happiness; happiness will elude you. But if you focus on your marriage, you'll find happiness for yourself. In other words, being happy is not the result of you trying to be happy. It's the consequence of you creating a successful marriage with your spouse.

Pursuing happiness is like a boomerang; if it comes back to you, then you've missed the target. It's like good sex. Research shows that the more you focus on having good sex, the more good sex eludes you. The key to good sex is good physical conditioning and a deep emotional connection. In other words, good sex is not something you pursue; it's something that ensues.

It's the same with your happiness. It's not something you pursue; it's something that ensues from efforts that transcend yourself. The hardest time to focus on your marriage is when you're frustrated with your spouse. You've got to turn and face the darkness in your life- your marriage situation. And I don't mean face it for a couple of weeks and then give up because "it didn't work." The key to most marital circumstances is endurance. If took you years to get yourself into this mess, it's going to take more than a couple of weeks to get yourself out of it. Get started This moment.

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