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Saturday, October 2, 2010

From Troubled Marriage To Personal Happiness

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If you could just be happy, right? But how do you get there? The path from a troubled marriage to personal happiness is not so simple, is it? Have you ever have this feeling about your marriage, "I've got to get out of this marriage. I've got to find happiness for myself."

You are not alone in this type of thought. In fact, it's quite common for people in an unhappy marriage to think that happiness is just on the other side of divorce. It's ironic. When we're single, we think we'll be happy when we meet someone. Once we're married, we think we'll be happy when we're single.

But you know what? You can't be happy alone. Your life is meant to be part of another life. It was for this same reason that God created, from Adam’s rib the woman Eve. If you focus on your happiness; happiness will elude you. But if you focus on your marriage, you'll find happiness for yourself. In other words, being happy is not the result of you trying to be happy. It's the consequence of you creating a successful marriage with your spouse.

Pursuing happiness is like a boomerang; if it comes back to you, then you've missed the target. It's like good sex. Research shows that the more you focus on having good sex, the more good sex eludes you. The key to good sex is good physical conditioning and a deep emotional connection. In other words, good sex is not something you pursue; it's something that ensues.

It's the same with your happiness. It's not something you pursue; it's something that ensues from efforts that transcend yourself. The hardest time to focus on your marriage is when you're frustrated with your spouse. You've got to turn and face the darkness in your life- your marriage situation. And I don't mean face it for a couple of weeks and then give up because "it didn't work." The key to most marital circumstances is endurance. If took you years to get yourself into this mess, it's going to take more than a couple of weeks to get yourself out of it. Get started This moment.

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