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Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Advice To Keep Your Marriage Healthy

Advice for a good marriage can in some cases seem a little obvious, but in a lot of cases it can seem like just the advice you need. When you are involved in a long term relationship, sometimes it's hard to see the wood for the trees, and it takes only the most basic advice for us to see what is wrong. Check this article out for more information.

Advice for a good marriage 1
The best piece of advice is to be honest with yourself about when it is and isn't working. If you kid yourself that everything is fine when it isn't, things are hardly likely to get better-in fact you will usually notice things getting steadily worse. The sooner you spot and admit to problems, the sooner you can move past them. Half the work is done as soon as you admit something is wrong, so don't be afraid.

Advice for a good marriage 2
Learn to communicate effectively. Too often relationships degenerate into accusations and fighting as the default method of interaction. Can you honestly hope for things to last if that's how you both behave? If you have something under your skin, sit down and talk it out. Talking about things sensibly rarely makes things worse-unlike accusations and arguing!

Advice for a good marriage 3
Understand that you can't fix the problems in your marriage solely fixing your partner's behaviour. A marriage is exactly that-the joining of two people-so it's not healthy to make one person do all the changing and adapting. This will not lead to a healthy relationship. It's much better to sit and talk it out and then work out how you can both make things better for each other. It's also a lot easier this way, as each of you will usually only need to make small adjustments to keep the other happy.

Advice for a good marriage 4
Learn the difference between being in love and falling in love. When you fall in love, the person can do no wrong and people are able to behave in ways that their partner may not necessarily agree with in a normal state of mind. That's why it can take work to stay in love-the love is still there, but you can't expect to act however you please and for it to still be there. Love is like a fire, it sometimes needs to be tended to make sure it still burns.

Advice for a good marriage 5
Understand the principles of marriage karma-you get what you give, so if you go the extra yard for your partner and prove yourself to be kind, caring and considerate, the chances are they will act a lot more like that toward you too. Think about when you see couples that are really in love-it's rarely just one of them doing the kind things is it?

Hopefully this advice for a good marriage will help you out. Check out the links below for some great information on fixing your marriage for good.




For more healthy marriage advices, please click here!

Sunday, September 25, 2011

3 Things That Can Save You When You Don’t Know What To Say

You are dating a beautiful but a shy girl or one that is not a talkie. You have already talked about your hobbies, your families and your jobs and nothing else come into your mind and she is not really helping you (that’s what you believe).

One of the best ways of having a good, healthy and wholesome chat with your girlfriend is to start with small talk. The small talk will give you a general picture about her likes and dislikes, as well as what she would like to discuss and what she would rather leave alone. Once the small talk gives you a general idea, you
can go ahead and discuss your common likes and dislikes.

But what is really freaking you are those moment of silence. Uhh... horrible moments. :) The key to avoid or get over these horrible moments are:

1. Compliment her

The fact is most people are shy about meeting new people. I used to be enormously shy. But when you
think about it, shyness is merely a fear that others won't like you, or that you may be rejected in some way. It's natural for us to desire acceptance. So try to make her know that you like her by making a compliment. But find something that you really find attractive about her, about her lifestyle or her personality.  She will become more confident and more open to share her believes and her shyness won’t be a problem for a fluid conversation.

2. Asking open questions

How you ask questions is very important in establishing a basis for an effective communication. Effective questions open the door to knowledge and understanding. The art of questioning lies in knowing which questions to ask when.

My favorites questions are "why" and "how" questions. You can use these frequently without being annoying. She will feel that you are interested in what she is telling you and will develop her answers.

Therefore, you should think carefully before speaking and taking up subjects that might be repugnant to her.

3. Listen, listen, and listen.

Usually when the woman starts talking about her favorite subjects (feelings, family, relationships, friends and her work) many men lose interest or bring the conversation back to themselves. This is one of the biggest mistake men are doing all the time.

They also like to exchange jokes and anecdotes and spend a fair amount of time playing one-up and boasting. Stop doing that!!!

Allow HER to have HER points of view, while you have yours. Men have felt like they have either had to abandon their own beliefs in order to try to get a woman, OR they had to fight with women about what they believe in. Both approaches lead to failure.

She is not there with you just to hear about your hero "qualities", but to have a great time!


Friday, September 23, 2011

Divorced Dad Beware Of The Alienator!

The Naive Alienator

Most divorced dads experience instances when they are Naive alienators. These divorced dads do mean well and they identify the children’s importance on having a good healthy relationship with them. They hardly ever come back to the court concerning problems with visitation or any other issues relating to the kids. The courts persuade the relationship of the kids and the divorced dad to be intact.

Both parents that communicate to each other is good usually, even though sometimes they do have arguments like they did before all the divorce proceedings took place. Arguing in front of the kids is a big no- no, it is better to leave the children out of it. For the most part, they can work out their differences without bringing the children into it.

Children do not like to hear their parents fighting and arguing, divorced parents or not.  These kids may feel hurt if they see or hear their dad or mom argue over things. Sometimes, the kids tend to cope up with their parents arguing and fighting either by talking to one of them, be it the dad or mom; sometimes they ignore both parents and let the issue heal in time. By hearing and seeing what the parents are fighting about does not really affect the children of the naïve alienator. 

The Active Alienator


Divorced dads that come back to the court to settle problems with their visitation rights are active alienators. These dads mean well and trust that the kids should gain a healthy relationship with their mother. Frustration is the common problem that they have, controlling the hurt they feel and the bitterness of what has happened.

There are instances that something might trigger the hurt that they feel inside, active alienators would strike or freak out in one way or another to cause alienation against the ex-wife. After calming down, the dad usually feels bad or he feels guilty about what he did and would refrain from their alienating strategy.

Hesitating between recklessly alienating and then after, fixing the damage with the kids is one of the well-known actions of the active alienator. They really do mean well, however, they will lose their cool because of the amount of force of their feelings inside overpowers them.

They do have the aptitude to obey and respect the authority of the trial courts and they do obey the court’s decision. Sometimes though, they tend to clash with the mother.  They sometimes act this way in order to strike at the mother for some injustice. They are also willing to seek professional help when they have problems that do not seem to go away.

They are usually openly worried about the kids’ adjustment to having parents that are divorced.  The divorced dad is thinking on how the children would adjust to two environments instead of just one.  These people still hope for a fast recuperation from all the pain and hurt that the divorce has brought.

The Obsessed Alienator


The obsessed alienator has a cause: to win over the children’s sympathy in order for the divorced dad, along with the kids to demolish the kids’ relationship with their mother. In order for this to work, the obsessed alienator entangles the kids’ characteristics and faith into their own. This is a very long process; it may take a long time, usually after the divorce is final.  This is because the divorced dad is angry or frustrated with the ex-wife and feels betrayed and wants to get back at her.

A Reminder


Recognize that those mentioned above are a reality. As a divorced dad, you not only have to protect your relationship with your kid but you have to safe guard you child’s emotional, mental and physical well being as well.

Friday, September 16, 2011

5 Simple Ways Connect With Your Husband

Have you ever rolled over in the morning and not known the man lying next to you? I’m not referring to that time back in college - I’m talking about the present. After years of marriage, you may start to feel like your husband is a stranger. Or is it that you feel he’s getting stranger? Either way, here are 5 simple ways to stay connected to your husband.

1. Cook a meal together.
Whether it’s breakfast or dinner it doesn’t matter, as long as you’re spending time together. How about getting up early Sunday morning and making a big old-fashioned Sunday breakfast for you and the kids? Or sending the kids to a sitter and preparing a nice romantic dinner together?

You’ll save money fixing the meal at home rather than dining out. Plus, you won’t have to get “all dolled up” (unless you want to). Most importantly, you’ll be using teamwork, which is the number one priority for any marriage.

2. Take on a project and get dirty!
Tackle a big and messy job on your list - cleaning out the garage, pulling up shrubs in the yard, organizing the attic. Make an afternoon of it and do it together! You’ll both feel a great sense of accomplishment that the job is finally done and it’ll feel great to know that you got it done by operating as a unit.

Now that you’ve worked up a sweat, why not draw a bath for two?

3. Spend a lazy afternoon going through old photos and reminiscing.
Talk about the activities you used to do when you first started dating and make a plan to start doing them again. You might not be able to do them all, but make the effort to do as many of them as you can, whether it is taking long walks, going to concerts, or making out at the movies.

4. Play hooky!
Plan a day where you can each stay home from work and spend the whole day home - alone - together - doing absolutely nothing! Lay in bed all day, cuddle, and watch movies. Make sure to turn the ringer off on the phone.

5. Make an effort on a daily basis to stay connected to your husband.
Listen, ask questions - be his partner in all aspects of your life. Something as simple as making it a point to say, “How was your day, Honey?” every day when he gets home and listening to his response can make all the difference.

The most important thing to remember is that you are not in your marriage by yourself. Share your concerns with your husband if you’re not feeling quite as close as you once did. Let him know how you feel, how it makes you feel and that you want to work on it.

Chances are your husband will be clueless, but once he realizes you’re genuinely concerned, he’ll jump right in and make more of an effort. Good luck!
   


Wednesday, September 14, 2011

A Guide To Wedding Gift Ideas

A marriage is a joyous moment in the life of two individuals. A couple shares this beautiful personal moment with their near and dear ones, who rejoice in their happiness. A wedding gift is a tangible depiction of the feelings of the giver for the couple. A gift has to be carefully chosen, keeping the couple’s individual tastes, likes and dislikes in mind, if it is intended to serve its purpose. Nothing is more distasteful and insulting than an inconsiderately given gift. A gift’s value is not determined by its monetary value, but it must communicate the giver’s thought appropriately and adequately.

While the market abounds in numerous gift options and alternatives, selecting the right gift for the couple can be a challenge sometimes. While one can overhaul the market, surf the net and burn a hole in the purse, choosing the perfect gift requires some thinking and a little homework. A giver should always strive to give something unique and different. MODERN DESIGN KEY HOLDER FOR WOMEN *GREAT GIFT IDEA FOR FRIENDS, LOVED ONES, WEDDING, HOUSE WARMING, ETC"

Personalized gifts always stand out and make a personal statement on behalf of the giver. A special memento, decorative crystal, or a paired watch with the couple’s names engraved in it along with the wedding date is something memorable for the wedding couple.

For very close relatives, a hand-made scrapbook complete with family pictures, or a family tree platter with hand-painted pictures of family members along with their names, signature photo quilts, or customized ceramic plates with the couples pictures and wedding dates etched on it are a few ideal gift options.

In case of a hard-core golf fan, one can give a golf set with the couple’s names engraved on it. A Bible with the couple’s names and wedding dates engraved on it is an ideal gift for a spiritually inclined couple. It is necessary to be aware and informed about a couple’s interests, hobbies, tastes and the like. A gift can be given based on this kind of information. Romantic gifts like photo pillows with the couple’s portraits on it can also be given. One can also give gift certificates, home décor items, classic gift items like crystal and silverware, or various wedding mementos like a polymer clay image or metal candles, just right for the mantel and keepsakes.

The choice of exchanging gifts for each other rests on the bride and the groom. Couples can exchange framed love poems, engraved jewelry or even unconventional items like a vintage car, for those who can afford it. A thoughtful gift certificate to a relaxing spa or a recreational resort is just the right way for the bride or bridegroom to express their gratitude and love for their parents. It is the thought that matters, and mere framed poetry or a handwritten letter to the parent is also as valuable, if not more.

Parents can give bridal showers, a party to acquaint the couple to the family, or some personalized gift items, including gift certificates. Thank-you gifts need not be expensive, but should cater to individual taste. It should be given according to the kind of relationship one shares with the guests.

Romantic Gourmet Picnic For Two Wedding Time Capsule Gift Set

Monday, September 12, 2011

How to Increase Your Fertility

Correcting Infertility Using Natural Methods: How to Increase Your Fertility a New Approach for Impaired Fertility Couples
Are you trying to have a baby?  For some, it’s as easy as blinking.  But for others, getting pregnant may take a bit of time and effort.  There are things that both a man and woman can do to help improve their chances for conceiving.

For the women, you may be on the pill and are ready to stop in order to have a baby.  Many have heard it is best to wait a few months before trying to get pregnant.  This is actually not the case.  You will probably be more fertile in the first three months after stopping the pill than the three months following your last dose.

Both men and women should stop smoking before trying to conceive.  It is important to detoxify your body to ensure both you and your baby will be healthy.  Stop alcohol, caffeine and pre-processed foods.  Concentrate on eating fruits, vegetables and whole grains.  Avoid dairy, sugar, salt and orange juice.  And don’t forget to drink plenty of water, preferably filtered.

Daily exercise is important when trying to start a family.  Try walking as a couple in the evening or joining a club together.  After all, once your baby is here you won’t have that special time together – so take advantage of it!

Fertility can be increased by making sure you get plenty of amino acids, vitamin A, beta-carotene and vitamins b and c.  Folic acid reduces birth defects, so eat foods rich in folate.  Iron and magnesium are important, so stock up on green vegetables, lean red meat, eggs, nuts, beans and rye.

Men should wear cotton boxer shorts and avoid overheating in jacuzzis, saunas and hot tubs.  As with a woman, the man should avoid stress, alcohol and smoking.  Antioxidants are also important for improving fertility chances, so eat foods rich in vitamins c and e, as well as zinc and beta-carotene.  Concentrate on eating fruit, oily fish, grains and dark green vegetables.FertilAid for Women: Female Fertility Supplement
Remember, conception may take a bit of time.  So stay healthy, exercise, eat right and relax.  And if you have questions regarding you or your partner’s fertility, your physician is just a phone call away.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

How To Be A Good Guest On Evening Weddings



Weddings were almost always held during daytime in the past. But like evolution, the customs and norms on weddings have also evolved over time.

Most couples nowadays find evening weddings more romantic and ideal. Evening weddings have increased popularity over time.

People see weddings, especially receptions as a perfect time to mingle with old and new friends and generally socialize. However, only few know that several wedding etiquettes do exist for evening weddings.

As for almost any issue hounding etiquettes on weddings, you will be surprised how evening wedding etiquettes mainly revolve around the most basic issue and concern on weddings--- attires.

For the bride and the groom, it is surprising that not much is expected during evening weddings. Evening weddings, according to several etiquette books and guides, should be treated as if they were daytime wedding. But take note, the case only applies to brides and grooms.

Being a nice and good guest, you are expected to follow several practical and unwritten guidelines. You would not want to create a bad impression to people, don’t you?

To illustrate the most common dilemma encountered by guests, who really try hard to be good guests, read on for a sample situation that you may have encountered in the past.

An evening wedding situation

Annie was invited to the wedding of a high school friend. The event poses a lot of excitement to her because she sees it as an opportunity to touch base and catch up with old high school friends.

Thus, Annie wants to make sure she will create a good and fashionable impression on that night. She wants to show everyone how she has improved and gotten prettier and foxier over the years.

However, one concerning factor about the wedding was that it is an evening wedding. Annie has attended just a couple of evening weddings before, and those were informal events, unlike this forthcoming one.

The invitation sent to her clearly and boldly emphasized that the guests are expected to come in formal attire. Ahh, Annie thought. That would be to her advantage. She will more exuberate radiance through a beautifully made gown. Blush By Us Angels Girls 7-16 A-line Print Necklace Dress, Leopard, 7

The wedding night of her friend turned out to be disaster for Annie. Why? Because with her utmost desire to ‘dress to impress,’ she found that she over did it.

Annie wear a very beautiful and radiant fire-engine red gown. The dress accentuated her figure, and no wonder, she was really beautiful. Evening Bag - Paige (Cloud-Silver)

If she was beautiful on her gown, what went wrong? What happened in the evening wedding that made Annie want to run out instantly from the event?

Apparently, Annie unintentionally stole the bride’s wedding thunder. Since she came in flaming red and beautiful gown, all eyes were on her during the wedding. Some people, to her dismay, also came to congratulate her, mistakenly identifying her as the bride.

It can never be flattering. Not all eyes were smiling to Annie. The bride’s eyes were flaming red, with anger! All the bride’s maids, and almost all the ladies in the ceremony showed those disgusted and unwanting looks to Annie. She thought, she should never have attended that evening wedding.

Dress for the occasion

Evening wedding invitations that bear the phrase “black tie optional,” indicates that the evening wedding is meant to be a formal gathering and the hosts intend the guests to appear formal.

Men are expected to appear in their tuxedos and women in their evening ball gowns.

For the burden of the ladies, they should first find out about the wedding colors and motifs before showing up at the wedding. Otherwise, they, for sure, would not want to catch hot and daunting eyes during the entire ceremony until the reception.

For the ladies, remember not over do it. Do not steal the thunder from the bride. Do not out do the bride’s maids, the maid of honors and the bride’s mom as well.

Dress down. Find a suitable color and design of the gown that can attract attention, but not too much to the extent that all eyes are totally fixed on you. Remember, it should be the bride who should stand out on her much-awaited moment.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

How to Act on a First Date

The key to a successful first date is to relax and just be the real you. If you try to act in a way that you think the other person will like, then they may start liking someone who you are not, and in the end you will wind up breaking up and getting hurt, so honest truly is the best policy, and in the end if you are just being you and it does not work you, you know they were not the one for you.

Dating is like gambling at poker, sure a good bluff may win you a hand or two but you are not going to win the World Series of Poker by bluffing, only by playing the best you can. This is no different from dating if you make things up to try and impress this person they are not liking you but are liking the fake you  and eventually they will see the two are no the same.

 Try to think back to the things you talked about when the both of you spoke on the phone and see if you learned anything that may help you decide where to go for your date, but if you do not have enough information about them to know what they may like you sometimes have to gamble and throw the dice, and hope you don’t crap out.

The most important thing to do on a first date is to have a good time, the bigger a deal you make of it the harder it is going to be and the higher the chances of you making a jerk of yourself. If you are nervous before the date take a few minutes and take a few deep breaths and if this does not help then I recommend you do what I like to do in the casinos when my nerves are bothering me I simply have a drink. The alcohol in one drink will usually calm me down enough to concentrate.

The key to having a nice first date is simple:

Take her/ him to a nice place, quite but not too quiet, you should be able to hear each other but other distractions are also good for those uncomfortable moments. My Date with Drew

Do not take her/ him to a place where your friends hang out, this will make her/ him feel as if they are being ganged up on or they may feel out of place and resent you for making them feel that way.

It is very important to have the whole night planned out already before the date and have a backup idea just incase. The tricky part is making it look like it was not all planned. Let's say you decide that you are going to take her for dinner, then after you want to take a walk on the beach do not just say hey after dinner let's take a walk on the beach. I would recommend you wait till after dinner and ask her if she wants to take a walk to burn off dinner and then take her to the beach.

Then when you are on the beach take her/his hand while walking, this makes a physical connection between you and makes it easier later on when you go for your first kiss.

Just remember that dating is a gambling sometimes you are going to get a bad hand and eventually if you play your cards right you will find the right person and win the jackpot.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Decorate Your Bedroom For Romance!


Want to spice up your bedroom to let some romance in?

Decorating your bedroom for romance doesn't even have to be difficult or expensive. You can really let your creativity run wild here.

The most important thing to keep in mind is that you want to soothe all of the senses to both take away other distractions and relax completely. This should be your oasis, your refuge to reconnect and enjoy your partner's company.

A great place to start is lighting. Get rid of the glare, and you're well on the way to more romance!

Candles, candles and more candles can bring a lot of romance into the bedroom for a pretty small investment. Candles, both large and small, tapered, pillar or votives all generate a warm, inviting, flickering light to the room. Group them together in several areas of the room for the best effect.

Adding a dimmer switch to lighting can also be quite effective in designing bedrooms for romance- and cost very little as long as you can install it yourself. It isn't as difficult as you might think!

Placing mirrors to reflect your softened light will add more depth to your bedroom.


Window dressings that are plush and appealing should darken the room and prevent lights from traffic or other external noise from interrupting the romantic mood you are creating. The window treatment can match or contrast the bedding and often can be found as an accessory to the bedding set you select. Draperies that billow and flow can add a touch of romance to the bedroom as well.

The bed, of course, is the focal point of the bedroom in most cases, and the bedding you select for romance can set just the perfect mood.

Many people think of silk and satin when thinking of romantic bedding. Both silk and satin can be costly and a bit slippery on the bed. The good news is that the same luxurious effect and feel can be created with 100% cotton sateen sheets if you don't want the added expense of genuine satin or silk linens.

Choose bedding for your romantic bedroom that centers on relaxing, romantic colors. Avoid using too much grey, yellow or pink. Red, black, white, blue and green is very popular. Newer colors like pearl, bronze and even gold can really create the feeling of luxury and are quite romantic.

Remember that all of your senses should be involved for the perfect touch of romance- so adding interesting texture for bedding can be another opportunity to bring out romance. Velvet, faux fur and velour are rich, soft to the touch fabrics that can be used for comforters, blankets and throw pillows.

Peacock Alley is one of the most well-known luxury bedding makers.

They offer an especially warm, romantic bed linen set called the Marrakech Ebony. It features shades of green, gold and ebony in prints reminiscent of the African plains and looks especially romantic when highlighted by candlelight. 55% linen and 45% rayon create luxurious sheets which are easy to care for.

The Vienna Ensemble from Peacock Alley is 100% Egyptian cotton in white on white featuring eyelet lace. Euro sham, coverlet, boudoir pillows add wonderful interesting detail to the bedding which brings back the romantic 1800s.

And if you'd prefer to keep your expenses down abit, then you could go for the shabby chic approach, which means focusing on your own sense of style, mixing just about any romantic touches into the bedroom- as long as the overall result is soothing and relaxing. You don't have to follow anyone else's idea of romance. Just be creative!

Ready for Romance
If you really want to go all out, you could add a canopy to your bed. You can easily create the same effect of a canopy bed with about 10 yards of material like linen, silk or satin and four hooks placed in the ceiling. Simply drape the cloth so that it billows and flows to just above the bed linens. This touch will enhance any spacious bedroom and can provide a bedroom with low ceilings a more spacious feel.

Finish your new romantic bedroom with a bit of soft music, maybe some potpourri and some fine chocolates and champagne, and there you have it!
52 Questions Before Marriage or Moving In Card Deck

You can live in a bedroom that surrounds you with romance every night if you wish. Simply bring together your own creation of romantic touches and enjoy.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Should Siblings all Remain Together After A Divorce?

Children have their ups and downs with each other, but you will find it tough times they often depend on one another. That leads to the question of siblings being together when a couple gets divorced. Sometimes it isn’t that simple though such as when one child doesn’t biologically belong to both parents.

Many couples agree to have the siblings all remain together. It is easier on everyone that way. All of the children go to the other parent at a set time as a unit. Even though they are facing many changes, they get the benefit of having the companionship of each other. Many siblings who come from a divorced family will tell you how important that was to helping them get through it.
Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way

The role that siblings play in each other’s life is fascinating. Even after they are grown many of them remain very close. When the world is scary as it often is during a divorce, they can support each other. No one else knows what they are feeling except their siblings so it is a great way to be able to talk to someone about the events taking place.

There are times though when parents choose to split up the siblings. They may let the older children choose who they want to live with. This can be hard for parents but they want their children to be where they are going to be the happiest. It is the unselfish parents who are able to so this without any problems.

Make sure you aren’t influencing your child’s decision as to who they want to live with. They should know they can change their mind down the road if they desire. The important thing is to find a way to maintain a very healthy relationship with that child. They also need to be encouraged to maintain contact with their siblings who aren’t living with them. Putting Children First: Proven Parenting Strategies for Helping Children Thrive Through Divorce

It may have to do with education as well. If one parent has to relocate they may want their children in school to stay with the other parent. They may only have a year or two left of high school. At the least the arrangement may be in place until the school year is finished and other plans can be made.

Finances and location can be a problem as well. A parent may want all of their children with them but have a two bedroom apartment. With many children that isn’t going to work out well. They may be staying with a friend or family member and so their really is just no room. Until they can afford to get a bigger place it may be necessary to split up the siblings.Making Divorce Easier on Your Child: 50 Effective Ways to Help Children Adjust

Very young children may need to remain with their mother for various reasons. They may be nursing or the father may not be able to provide adequate childcare. Older children may be allowed to fly on their own back and forth between parents. The younger children can’t do so and therefore they remain in one place until they get older.

Another issue has to do with special needs children. They may require additional care and medical supplies that are too difficult or expensive to have in both locations. This may result in one parent being fully responsible for that particular child. It depends on the abilities of the parents as well as the severity of the medical problems that the child has.

The decision to keep siblings together after a divorce is one that each family will have to evaluate. It may work well for the issues at hand but at other times it doesn’t. Regardless of the decision, all of the children need to know the divorce wasn’t their fault. They also need to have the love and encouragement of both parents. Forging a solid relationship with each of them is important to the overall well being of each child.