Most people that get married actually didn’t know themselves before getting married. It might sound strange, but it is really true. Before you say, ‘that can be true’, answer the following questions honestly. What are your weaknesses? Your strength? Your passion? Etc. See what I mean?
Before setting out the journey to marital live, you need to honestly ask yourself these questions and answer them without any sentiment. Being able to answer these questions will help any individual to be able to know his/her values. These values are eternal and internal, they are timeless, essential and are enduring tenets that define who we are and how we manage issues as it affects us.
Therefore, the road to marriage success starts we need know ourselves. We need to know the following : Our weakness, our strength, our skill, our likes, our dislikes, our passions.
Our weakness. These can bring us down and bring conflicts, problems, misunderstanding, and eventually, divorce to our marriage. It will bring us to fail. Identifying our weakness means that 50% of the battle towards marriage success is won- the easy 50%. Now we need to compensate for these weaknesses and this is the other 50%- the hard part. You need to think (be objective), plan and execute your plan, the key is discipline; what are your personal weakness.
Our strength. These are our skills, those things that we are good at. They the things that we do very well, flawlessly. It is perhaps the distinguishing factor that differentiate a good spouse (who has solution to most problems, manage situations very well without allowing it to degenerate).
Our Skill. With skill comes strength, when these two are honed together will distinguish our marriage. It is God given tool for progress. Identify them, work on them and leverage them. The key again is discipline.
Our Passion. This is a strong powerful, compelling emotion; it enables us to go beyond the normal regular call in our marriage. Passion is the secret to identifying and leveraging our strength and skill.
Our Vision. This is a mental picture of what we want in our marriage, how we want our home and marital life to be. The problem is, we don’t marriage as an institution that we need to set goals for, just like in our career. There is need for a statement of purpose detailing the course we want our married life to take.
Never underestimate the power of GOAL setting. Goals provide a clear target and are measurable. List the goals you hope to achieve in your marriage right before you get married. A little stretch might be needed to be able to achieve them. Success in your marriage (or in any endeavor) demand more from an individual than most people are willing to offer, but not more than they are capable of offering.
Take RESPONSIBILITY- it is your marriage. Accept personal responsibility for your own vision and goals for your marriage, no one can do it for you (not even your spouse).
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