Expect Only the Best from Your Child

Your Ten- to Fourteen-Year-Old
Expect the best from your child.  If you expect the best behavior and performance you're your child, it's often what you will get.  Children pick up on our beliefs about them, form a self-concept that matches that belief, and perform accordingly. If we expect them to be lazy, they'll be lazy, which will confirm our expectations for them, and the cycle toward failure is started. If, on the other hand, we expect our kids to be successful, productive, creative, and responsible and honestly believe it to be true, then our children can't help but rise to the occasion and confirm our best opinions of them with their positive actions. So expect nothing but the best from your children and watch them fulfill your expectations. 

Praise your child often when they perform a good deed or accomplish a new task.  Set simple, clear and consistent rules so your child knows exactly what is expected and the consequences of misbehaving or breaking the rules. Maintain a consistent daily routine for your child as much as possible, and make sure your child gets lots of physical activity and time to play and socialize with their friends.  Encourage your child to learn how to make appropriate choices, and encourage your child to do things for themselves. Allow your child to talk about strong feelings, which will help them work through their anger and frustration. 

Above all, be a positive role model for your child, as their strongest educator is your example.  Take care of yourself, and expect the best from yourself.  Make appropriate choices and be firm yet fair when disciplining your child. Make sure to spend lots of quality time with your child, and encourage them to become involved in activities that foster cooperation and a sense of accomplishment.  If you have great expectations of your child, you'll be greatly pleased in the end.

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Having Sex After Having a Baby: Tips for Husbands

Has there recently been a new addition to your family?  If so, congratulations!  There is nothing more exciting or rewarding than becoming a parent. 

As rewarding and as exciting as it can be to be a new parent, you may want to start returning to your normal routines.  Depending on your relationship with your wife, that routine may have involved daily or regular sex.  Unfortunately, many men are disappointed to learn that their sex life is not going to be what it was like before, at least right away. 

If this is your first child, you may not be familiar with how sex after a baby works for women.  If that is the case, please continue reading on, as a few helpful tips are outlined below for your convenience.

Most importantly it is important to give your wife space and time.  She may not be ready for sex yet, emotionally or physically.  In fact, did you know that women need time to heal after having a baby?  Many doctors recommend waiting at least a month before having sex after giving birth.  With that said, your wife may be different.  She may be ready to resume intimacy sooner or later than the average, recommended time frame.

In keeping with giving your wife time, it is important to not have high expectations right away.  These expectations should also include more than just intimacy.  As previously stated, having a baby is exciting and rewarding, but it can also be very overwhelming for new parents, especially moms.  Late night feeding sessions and fussy babies may prevent your wife from wanting to initiate sex, as well as getting many of her daily tasks completed, like cleaning the house or having dinner prepared on time.

Speaking of which, if you want to improve the intimacy in your relationship and not just in the bedroom, be sure to help your wife out.  This may involve taking a late night feeding session with your new baby, doing the dishes, cooking dinner, and so forth.  Many new moms feel so helpless and overwhelmed immediately following the birth of a baby.  Do not let your wife feel this way.  The kind gestures of helping on your part may improve your relationship and in more ways than one.

It is also important to not push your wife to have sexual relations with you when she is uncomfortable or unready to do so.  As previously stated, it does take women time to heal after having a baby.  It is also important to take other factors into consideration.  Is your baby sleeping in your room?  If so, your wife may not feel comfortable being intimate then.  Your wife may also not be ready to hire a baby sitter or even allow a trusted relative to care for your child.  This means that a romantic weekend or night away is often out of the question.  Most new moms needs months or even longer before they are ready for this big step.

Since there is a good chance that your wife may not be ready to resume intimacy in your relationship, it is important to be patient.  Instead of dwelling on not having sex, work for it.  Use the time to “wow,” your wife all over again.  Do so with romantic gestures, such as preparing a nice dinner at home, flowers, and love notes.

The New Mom's Survival Guide: How to Reclaim Your Body, Your Health, Your Sanity, and Your Sex Life After Having a Baby

Love in the Time of Colic: The New Parents' Guide to Getting It On Again 

Starting an Allowance

Money Doesn't Grow On Trees: A Parent's Guide to Raising Financially Responsible Children

If you are at a cross-road on when to start giving your children allowance, then, this article is for you. or you are wondering about how much to give them, you should continue reading the article. There is no age that is too early for the children to be given allowances. The article will teach you how much and the ways to decide how they get the allowance.

    It’s never too early to start teaching your children about money.  A great way to begin this is by giving them an allowance.  There are several ways to do this, and I’ll talk about a few of them.The No-Cash Allowance: A Practical Guide for Teaching Your Children How to Manage Money (Mom's Choice Award Recipient)

    You can give allowance based on chores with specific money amounts.  For example, you can decide to pay fifty cents for setting the dinner table, $1.00 for keeping their bedroom clean all week.  You decide the chores you would like your child to do, and then show them how to do the work correctly.  Let them know ahead of time how much they get for each job, and keep track.  Decide how often they will receive the money they have earned.

    Another option is to have a set amount of allowance based on their age.  My children earn half their age in allowance.  My five year old gets $2.50 a week.  In order to earn their allowance, they have to keep their room clean, do an assigned job each day, and help out with other things that we might need.  When they don’t do jobs or keep their room clean, they lose part of their allowance for the week.

    Some parents give their children money without requiring the child to earn it.  I don’t like this option because I like giving a value to the money.  When children have to earn it, it means more to them.  However, if you don’t like the idea of putting your kids to work, you can still teach them about money.  I would still suggest assigning a requirement to the money, such as good grades or good behavior.

    Whatever option you chose, staring an allowance with your children will teach them about working, how to spend money, and how to save it as well. 

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Children's allowances and the economic welfare of children;: The report of a conference (Children and youth: social problems and social policy)

Chores With Chldren

When should we start chores with the children? If you want to know, then you must read this article. The system to use in chore assigning and motivating our children to carry out chores given to them will be discussed in the article.

We decided to start chores with our kids, and give them an allowance to go with it.  When we started, we had a set amount they earned each week, but we would take 50 cents away each time they didn’t do a job.  One daughter decided that she would determine whether she did the job based on how much she lost if she didn’t complete it.  She would also ask for more money if we asked her to do anything else.  So we changed our system.

Assigning chores with children is a great way to teach them the value of work and belonging to a family.  In the summer when school is out, we give our children an allowance with the chores and a chore chart with specific jobs each day.  During the school year, we take away the chore chart and the allowance, but they are still required to help out around the house when asked.  We explain that helping out with the house is part of being a family.

Other families handle chores in different ways.  Each family is different, and the children in the family are different as well.  It is important to find a system that works with you and your kids, and is easy to manage.  No one wants to spend all day harassing their kids to get their work done.  And in the real work, a boss wouldn’t do this either, they would lose their job.

Starting chores is a good way to prepare your children for life.  It gives them a sense of purpose and accomplishment, shows the importance of working together as a family, and teaches them that work can be rewarding.  Kids are never too young to start with age appropriate jobs. 

Bathing And Cleanliness During Infancy And Childhood

During infancy

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cleanliness is essential to the infant's health. The principal points to which especial attention must be paid by the parent for this purpose are the following:

At first the infant should be washed daily with warm water; and a bath every night, for the purpose of thoroughly cleaning the body, is highly necessary. To bathe a delicate infant of a few days or even weeks old in cold water with a view "to harden" the constitution (as it is called), is the most effectual way to undermine its health and entail future disease. By degrees, however, the water with which it is sponged in the morning should be made tepid, the evening bath being continued warm enough to be grateful to the feelings.

A few months having passed by, the temperature of the water may be gradually lowered until cold is employed, with which it may be either sponged or even plunged into it, every morning during summer. If plunged into cold water, however, it must be kept in but a minute; for at this period, especially, the impression of cold continued for any considerable time depresses the vital energies, and prevents that healthy glow on the surface which usually follows the momentary and brief action of cold, and upon which its usefulness depends. With some children, indeed, there is such extreme delicacy and deficient reaction as to render the cold bath hazardous; no warm glow over the surface takes place when its use inevitably does harm: its effects, therefore, must be carefully watched.

The surface of the skin should always be carefully and thoroughly rubbed dry with flannel, indeed, more than dry, for the skin should be warmed and stimulated by the assiduous gentle friction made use of. For this process of washing and drying must not be done languidly, but briskly and expeditiously; and will then be found to be one of the most effectual means of strengthening the infant. It is especially necessary carefully to dry the arm-pits, groins, and nates; and if the child is very fat, it will be well to dust over these parts with hair-powder or starch: this prevents excoriations and sores, which are frequently very troublesome. Soap is only required to those parts of the body which are exposed to the reception of dirt.

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During childhood

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When this period arrives, or shortly after, bathing is but too frequently left off; the hands and face of the child are kept clean, and with this the nurse is satisfied; the daily ablution of the whole body, however, is still necessary, not only for the preservation of cleanliness, but because it promotes in a high degree the health of the child.

A child of a vigorous constitution and robust health, as he rises from his bed refreshed and active by his night's repose, should be put into the shower-bath, or, if this excites and alarms him too much, must be sponged from head to foot with salt water. If the weather be very cold, the water may be made slightly tepid, but if his constitution will bear it, the water should be cold throughout the year. Then the body should be speedily dried, and hastily but well rubbed with a somewhat coarse towel, and the clothes put on without any unnecessary delay. This should be done every morning of the child's life.

If such a child is at the sea-side, advantage should be taken of this circumstance, and seabathing should be substituted. The best time is two or three hours after breakfast; but he must not be fatigued beforehand, for if so, the cold bath cannot be used without danger. Care must be taken that he does not remain in too long, as the animal heat will be lowered below the proper degree, which would be most injurious. In boys of a feeble constitution, great mischief is often produced in this way. It is a matter also of great consequence in bathing children that they should not be terrified by the immersion, and every precaution should be taken to prevent this. The healthy and robust boy, too, should early be taught to swim, whenever this is practicable, for it is attended with the most beneficial effects; it is a most invigorating exercise, and the cold bath thus becomes doubly serviceable.

If a child is of a delicate and strumous constitution, the cold bath during the summer is one of the best tonics that can be employed; and if living on the coast, sea-bathing will be found of singular benefit. The effects, however, of sea-bathing upon such a constitution must be particularly watched, for unless it is succeeded by a glow, a feeling of increased strength, and a keen appetite, it will do no good, and ought at once to be abandoned for the warm or tepid bath. The opinion that warm baths generally relax and weaken, is erroneous; for in this case, as in all cases when properly employed, they would give tone and vigour to the whole system; in fact, the tepid bath is to this child what the cold bath is to the more robust.

In conclusion: if the bath in any shape cannot from circumstances be obtained, then cold saltwater sponging must be used daily, and all the year round, so long as the proper reaction or glow follows its use; but when this is not the case, and this will generally occur, if the child is delicate and the weather cold, tepid vinegar and water, or tepid salt water, must be substituted.

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Apperance Of Milk-Teeth

The first set of teeth, or milk-teeth as they are called, are twenty in number; they usually appear in pairs, and those of the lower jaw generally precede the corresponding ones of the upper. The first of the milk-teeth is generally cut about the sixth or seventh month, and the last of the set at various periods from the twentieth to the thirtieth months. Thus the whole period occupied by the first dentition may be estimated at from a year and a half to two years. The process varies, however, in different individuals, both as to its whole duration, and as to the periods and order in which the teeth make their appearance. It is unnecessary, however, to add more upon this point.

Their developement is a natural process. It is too frequently, however, rendered a painful and difficult one, by errors in the management of the regimen and health of the infant, previously to the coming of the teeth, and during the process itself.

Thus, chiefly in consequence of injudicious management, it is made the most critical period of childhood. Not that I believe the extent of mortality fairly traceable to it, is by any means so great as has been stated; for it is rated as high as one sixth of all the children who undergo it. Still, no one doubts that first dentition is frequently a period of great danger to the infant. It therefore becomes a very important question to an anxious and affectionate mother, how the dangers and difficulties of teething can in any degree be diminished, or, if possible, altogether prevented. A few hints upon this subject, then, may be useful. I shall consider, first, the management of the infant, when teething is accomplished without difficulty; and, secondly, the management of the infant when it is attended with difficulty.

Management of the infant when teething is without difficulty:

In the child of a healthy constitution, which has been properly, that is, naturally, fed, upon the milk of its mother alone, the symptoms attending teething will be of the mildest kind, and the management of the infant most simple and easy.

Symptoms:- The symptoms of natural dentition (which this may be fairly called) are, an increased flow of saliva, with swelling and heat of the gums, and occasionally flushing of the cheeks. The child frequently thrusts its fingers, or any thing within its grasp, into its mouth. Its thirst is increased, and it takes the breast more frequently, though, from the tender state of the gums, for shorter periods than usual. It is fretful and restless; and sudden fits of crying and occasional starting from sleep, with a slight tendency to vomiting, and even looseness of the bowels, are not uncommon. Many of these symptoms often precede the appearance of the tooth by several weeks, and indicate that what is called "breeding the teeth" is going on. In such cases, the symptoms disappear in a few days, to recur again when the tooth approaches the surface of the gum.

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Treatment:- The management of the infant in this case is very simple, and seldom calls for the interference of the medical attendant. The child ought to be much in the open air, and well exercised: the bowels should be kept freely open with castor oil; and be always gently relaxed at this time. Cold sponging employed daily, and the surface of the body rubbed dry with as rough a flannel as the delicate skin of the child will bear; friction being very useful. The breast should be given often, but not for long at a time; the thirst will thus be allayed, the gums kept moist and relaxed, and their irritation soothed, without the stomach being overloaded. The mother must also carefully attend, at this time, to her own health and diet, and avoid all stimulant food or drinks.

From the moment dentition begins, pressure on the gums will be found to be agreeable to the child, by numbing the sensibility and dulling the pain. For this purpose coral is usually employed, or a piece of orris-root, or scraped liquorice root; a flat ivory ring, however, is far safer and better, for there is no danger of its being thrust into the eyes or nose. Gentle friction of the gums, also, by the finger of the nurse, is pleasing to the infant; and, as it seems to have some effect in allaying irritation, may be frequently resorted to. In France, it is very much the practice to dip the liquorice-root, and other substances, into honey, or powdered sugar-candy; and in Germany, a small bag, containing a mixture of sugar and spices, is given to the infant to suck, whenever it is fretful and uneasy during teething. The constant use, however, of sweet and stimulating ingredients must do injury to the stomach, and renders their employment very objectionable.

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Avoiding Burnout in Home Schooling

Whether you’re studying in a traditional school or in a home schooling program, there will come a time when you will experience burnout. This is something that you have to avoid so that your learning progress is not affected.

Here are a few helpful tips that you can make use of to avoid possible home schooling burnout:

• Know your limitations. From the very start, you should already know your and your child’s limitations. You are capable of doing things slowly at a time especially if your child is still young since you have to consider your child’s learning capacity. Most of today’s students are average learners so you have to take the lessons based on your child’s learning pace. Never expect your small child to read complicated reading selections nor your teen to ace SAT exams.

• Don’t follow strict schedules because this can pressure your child. You can simply set an interesting routine for your kids. Children spend most of their time doing their routine activities like getting up late in the morning, eat hearty breakfasts, read, write, do light chores, and some other things. You must insist that they finish first their routine activities before they can play outside or with the
computer. Even the routine activities vary from day to day but you have to make sure that you’re child follows the routine activities. You can throw in occasional incentives or fun activities if they finish their routine tasks earlier.

• Enjoy home schooling together with your kid. This is one way to develop a good relationship with your kid. If you and your kid can relate to each other, you will find it very easy to handle curriculum struggles and motivation problems. Aside from motivating and guiding
your child, you can also pursue some of your interests like gardening and cooking. If your child sees you pursuing your interests, then he or she will also be motivated in doing the same.

• Since your child is into home schooling, you should not mimic the traditional school environment. Try to use unusual methods when teaching your kid. Home schooling is also about flexibility and if you can achieve a light atmosphere, you can effectively avoid burnout.

Always remember that with home schooling, you don’t have to structure your teaching methods. You can simply do things in a fun way especially with very young kids and they can learn easily. Just keep the day in the right perspective to avoid burnout. Although your kids might forget some of the day’s lessons, that’s all right because somehow they grow in intelligence and even physically. And of course, you kids will always cherish your moments together and how well you’ve treated them. There is no other place like home and for little students this is the best place to learn the first lessons in life. Now, even your teens are already in high school or in college, they can still pursue home schooling if they want too. That is also a good decision because you get to monitor your child’s performance.Homeschooling: The Teen Years: Your Complete Guide to Successfully Homeschooling the 13- to 18- Year-Old (Prima Home Learning Library)

Parents are always looking after their child’s best interest. If after careful consideration you still think that home schooling is the best option, go on with it. Just follow the tips mentioned earlier to avoid burnout at home. Do fun activities from time to time to rule out monotony.The First Year of Homeschooling Your Child: Your Complete Guide to Getting Off to the Right Start

Childcare Tips for the Mother-to-Be

The search for childcare ideally should begin when you discover your due date. This gives you plenty of time to research your childcare options. Depending on the type of childcare you choose, there are several items of importance to consider before selecting a provider. Are you going to need in-home care in which a single caregiver comes to your home If this is the type of care you need, be aware that many of these providers are not licensed nor are they required to be licensed. In this case it is especially important to get references from previous employers for at least 5 years. Ask for names and phone numbers; don’t hesitate to call the parents who have used their services. If the provider refuses or is unable to provide this information for you, move on. In-home caregivers may be left alone with your child, they may be unlicensed and are often costlier than other types of childcare; caution should be exercised when choosing this type of childcare.

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Another option is family childcare, which is a more casual environment with a limited amount of children enrolled, and is usually less expensive than day care centers. This type of childcare requires you to drop off and pick up your child at the person’s home. Often there are charges made if you are late in picking up your child; the caregiver is more like a nine-to-five business and may strictly enforce this rule. These types of childcare providers should be licensed, and the type of care provided is left up to the individual so again, references from other parents are crucial.Eating for Pregnancy: The Essential Nutrition Guide and Cookbook for Today's Mothers-to-Be

Still another option is a day care center, which must be licensed. Your child will be among more children, receiving less individualized care than the previous two types of childcare mentioned. However, there are many benefits to this type longer hours of operation, less stringent rules on pick up and drop off times, and more activities with more children to interact with. The down side may be the more children your child is exposed to the more chance of illness and other problems resulting from interacting with many young children at once.

Before you have your baby is the best time for you to visit your prospective childcare providers. Take along a notepad with you; make notes of any positive or negative items you will want to check into later. Checklists provided by several websites can be printed out, using your notes for comparison.  If you are going to be returning to work after maternity leave, having several providers lined up will make your intro back to work less stressful. If you are working out of your home, or work part time, it is still beneficial to have a childcare provider on call for emergencies. This would be a drop-in provider who can be called at the last minute and basically is an on-call provider. Having a drop-in childcare option will also afford you some time to get back into the routine post-baby. Even a few hours a week can give you time to do the grocery shopping, keep doctor’s appointments, have lunch with a friend or just get out of the house for an hour.

Family: How to Spend Quality Time with Your Kids

Are you a mother who is also a career-oriented woman?  If you are, you may have number of different issues tugging at your heart.  In today’s society, many mothers are fearful of putting their family first, especially in certain circumstances, in fear of losing their jobs.  With that in mind, there are many mothers who are fearful that their children will grow up resenting them due to the amount of time they spent focused on work. 

While being a mother and a career-oriented woman, all at the same time, may seem like an impossible task, it is a task that you can more than perform.  What you need to remember, although difficult as it may be, is that you should be a mom first.  However, that doesn’t mean that you should just toss your workload to the side and not care.  There are a number of different ways that you can go about being a good parent, while still brining home an income.  One of those ways involves spending quality time with your child or children when you are not working. 

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One of the best ways for you to go about spending quality time with your child or children is by creating a schedule for yourself.  This schedule can be used to outline any important events that you and your child or children have planned.  Although your schedule does not need to be followed right down to the letter, it is important to have one. Mothers who create schedules for themselves are more likely to follow through with their plans.

Speaking of your plans, you may be wondering what you should do to spend quality time with your child or children.  Of course, it is important to keep your child’s age in mind. A child who is three years old will prefer different activities than one who is nine or ten years old.  With that in mind, there are a number of different activities that many children, including those of all ages, love.  A few of those activities are outlined below for your convenience.

One activity that you may want to think about doing with your child or children is taking them to the zoo. Regardless of where you live, you should have a zoo within a reasonable driving distance to your home.  Zoo trips are fun and exciting, as they often last all day.  What is nice about zoo trips is that they are fun and educational all at the same time.  This means that your quality time can benefit your child or children in more ways than one.

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Another activity that you may want to think about doing is taking your child or children to the movies.  Whether your child is three years old or fifteen years old, there should be a movie playing that would likely interest them.  Going to the movies is nice, as many children view it as a treat.  For more affordable movie tickets, you may want to think about going to see a movie with your family during the daytime.

Additional activities that many children enjoy are those of park visits, museum visits, and sporting events.  In all honestly, it really doesn’t matter what you do.  To your child or children, how matter what their age, they will likely just appreciate the fact that you took some time away from work to have fun with them, no matter what the activity.
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Actively Listening to your Child

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Communicating with our children can be a difficult task at times.  We feel like they're not listening to us; they feel like we're not listening to them.  Good listening and communications skills are essential to successful parenting.  Your child's feelings, views and opinions have worth, and you should make sure you take the time to sit down and listen openly and discuss them honestly.

It seems to be a natural tendency to react rather than to respond.  We pass judgment based on our own feelings and experiences.  However, responding means being receptive to our child's feelings and emotions and allowing them to express themselves openly and honestly without fear of repercussion from us.  By reacting, we send our child the message that their feelings and opinions are invalid.  But by responding and asking questions about why the child feels that way, it opens a dialog that allows them to discuss their feelings further, and allows you a better understanding of where they're coming from.  Responding also gives you an opportunity to work out a solution or a plan of action with your child that perhaps they would not have come up with on their own.  Your child will also appreciate the fact that maybe you do indeed understand how they feel. 

It's crucial in these situations to give your child your full and undivided attention.  Put down your newspaper, stop doing dishes, or turn off the television so you can hear the full situation and make eye contact with your child.   Keep calm, be inquisitive, and afterwards offer potential solutions to the problem. 

Don't discourage your child from feeling upset, angry, or frustrated.  Our initial instinct may be to say or do something to steer our child away from it, but this can be a detrimental tactic.  Again, listen to your child, ask questions to find out why they are feeling that way, and then offer potential solutions to alleviate the bad feeling.

Just as we do, our children have feelings and experience difficult situations.  By actively listening and participating with our child as they talk about it, it demonstrates to them that we do care, we want to help and we have similar experiences of our own that they can draw from.  Remember, respond - don't react. 

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CHILDREN! WATCHING US MORE THAN LISTENING TO US

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How many times have you told your kids to change their clothes, brush their teeth, do their homework, tidy up their rooms, or anything else for that matter? There is really no right answer because there is really no limit to the number of times we have to ask our kids to do something.

For most of us, this is a normal part of our daily lives. We ask, and ask, and ask, and if we are lucky, our kids cooperate after the fourth request or after a loud but otherwise harmless scolding.

We complain that our kids never listen to us: we ask other mums how they get their kids to behave, eat their meals or go to sleep. We consult books at all hours on better childrearing and discipline and other parenting techniques. And still, our kids just don’t listen.

But, they do observe. While we are yelling at them, they are watching us; while we argue with each other, they are watching; while we mutter curses under our breath at raging drivers, they are watching; while we chat with our friends on the phone, they are watching us.

If you have toddlers, you must have been seeing these already. You see them carrying on animated conversations their battery operated toy cell phones. They pace around the house with their heads cocked, their little shoulder straining to hold up the fake phone with the blinking lights.

Our kids are watching our every move, even when they don’t listen to one word.

THINGS PARENTS SHOULD LEARN FROM THEIR CHILDREN WATCHING THEM

If we make a conscious effort to remember that our children are watching us, it will keep us in check. We will mind our manners, we will speak more soothingly, we will control our emotions, and ultimately, we will see that, by our kids watching us, we are beginning to behave the way we want them to behave.

In other words, it is a cycle that eventually trains parents and their children towards better behaviour and emotional restraint. If we know that our kids are watching our every move, we will be mindful of our behaviour and set example with that behaviour. Then, our kids will model that good behaviour and essentially everyone wins.

In essence, we are designing our children’s future by our own behaviour. Why perpetuate behaviours in our children that we ourselves should not be harbouring? Keeping in mind that our children are not only watching us, but also learning from us should enough good reason for us to change our behaviours before it is cast in the stone of generations to come.


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Be Respectful.Why not try it out?


The truth is that, we shouldn’t worry that our children never listen to us. Instead, we should worry that they are always watching us. It is true. When we tell our kids to pick up their toys, they don’t listen. We raise our voices, and they still ignore us. Then, we become irate and yell, and they have a temper tantrum or break down into a fit of tears. But not before they have taken careful note of our actions.

Infact every time we tell our to do something, we are teaching them a lesson. We are telling them to do one thing, but really showing them how to do something else. When we yell at them in anger, we are showing how to get someone to listen to us. When we throw toys into the toy box or kick toys out of the way as we point our fingers, we are showing them how to display their anger.

Think about when you are driving your kids to school in the morning. A hurried driver cuts you off and you swerve to avoid getting side swiped. “Moron!” you yell, as you correct the wheel. You shrug it off and silently thank God that nothing happened.

Your kids in the back saw what happened. In these situations, we rarely explain to our kids that the other driver made a mistake by changing lanes without signalling or by turning right just as we crossed a green light. Instead, we show them how to handle such situation: curse and complain.


Parenting From the Inside Out
The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries (Child Development)