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Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Break-Ups And Doubts

Shall I break-up? Am I right? Or my thinking is wrong somewhere? What if I hurt my partner with the break-up? What if I cannot live normally after break-up? Shall I recover from it? Should I break-up?  I am having doubts about the reasons. I am doubtful about the consequences. I am confused. What shall I do?

After life reaches a stage where living together becomes very painful, one begins thinking of break-up. But the doubts can be overwhelming sometimes. They can mar the judgment. They confuse the thinking. This makes life further trouble some. What is the way out? 

The first step should be giving your mind little rest. A tense mind tends to lose the way. Relax and let go of these thoughts for few days. Involve yourself in other activities. Relaxing your mind will give you some peace and help you think well. After you begin feeling peaceful, begin writing down your reasons for breaking up. Don’t miss anything. Write down all the reasons clearly and write explanations wherever needed. This will give you further insight into why you want to break-up.

Pluses and Minuses - write down both pluses and minuses of the break-up. Read them carefully and weigh them. If necessary, consult a close friend. After you become sure that you must break-up and that will be in your interest and in the interest of your partner, go ahead.


Monday, November 28, 2011

4 Questions to Ask Before You Say "I Do"

"How do you know when you've met the right one?”
Almost everyone asks this question at some point in their lives; unfortunately, there are not too many who get a concrete answer.  But if you're reading this article, then you're one of the lucky few. 

Interestingly, the criteria for choosing a spouse can be reduced to just four key characteristics.  If you can find somebody with all four then it's highly likely that you've found your life partner.

1) What is This Person's Core Values?
Before you decide to marry someone, make sure that they are fully committed to some kind of objective moral and ethical standard.  Whether we realize it or not, everyone has some kind of core value that is central to their personality.  And when push comes to shove, that value is going to be the most important thing in the world to that person.

For example: Jerry's core value is adventure.  When Jerry starts to date Diana, he happens to be volunteering at the local Emergency Room.  He goes there every night, holds people's hands, calms them down.  And Diana is thinking to herself that Jerry must have a heart of gold if this is how he's spending his spare time.  Now, Jerry might really have a heart of gold.  But he's volunteering because of his love for adventure.  The ER is filled with action, it's exciting.  So right now, Jerry's adventurousness happens to be expressing itself in a kind way.  But that could change.  Jerry might stop volunteering, and start trying other adventures that Diana may find unpleasant, dangerous, or even unethical.

However, if Jerry's core value is a commitment to goodness and caring, then everything he does will rotate around that, including his marriage.  And Diana will be a very lucky woman if she marries him. 

So how do you get to know the true Jerry?  Surprisingly, it's not that difficult.  No matter what a person's core value is, you will see him or her sacrificing for it on a daily basis.  If Jerry's core value is adventure, then he might risk an accident in order to speed through an intersection or arrive late at work because he followed a police chase.  If Diana follows him carefully, she'll see that he places adventure above other important things on his list of priorities.  But if Jerry's core value is goodness, then Diana will see him give up on certain things in order to be kind.  If the waiter mixes up his order, he'll say thank you and eat the dish anyway.  He'll let the other guy cross the intersection first, or he might be late to work because he drove a little old lady home with her groceries.  If Diana follows him carefully, then she'll see him let go of some of his own desires in order to take care of other people.  

So look for someone who is committed at the core to a higher set of values that you can appreciate.

2) Does This Person Treat Others Well?
Number two is obvious:  You want to marry someone who is going to take care of you and treat you well.  How to figure it out? Simple.  Spend time with this person, and pay attention to how they treat others whom they don't necessarily care about because they're not trying to charm them.  Do they thank the attendant who pumped gas for them?  Are they courteous to people at checkout counters? Do they curse out people who don't deliver on time, like telephone operators or overworked waitresses?  Do they tend to drive aggressively, as if there's no one else on the road?   

Ask yourself questions like these and take note of the answers - because they reflect characteristics that will come out down the line.  Most people don't guard themselves so carefully that they'll hide how they treat others.  So watch them, and you'll know how they're going to treat you after you're married.

3) Do We Communicate Well With Each Other?
In other words, make sure that you understand each other.  This may seem obvious, but it's not.  
Sometimes you can see a couple in a fight and they argue for an hour, two hours, maybe even overnight.  And then, at the end of round 16, it turns out that the whole thing was just a misunderstanding:  “Oh, I thought you meant that…That's not what you meant?  Oh, then we agree.”  

Although on an occasional basis this can happen to anyone, if it's happening constantly then it's not a good sign because that may not change.  If you're constantly misunderstanding each other, then you might want to put this relationship on hold for a while.

4) Are We Physically Attracted to Each Other?
Physical attraction is an essential part of marriage.  You cannot marry someone if you aren't physically attracted to them.  And while men arrive at this conclusion somewhat quickly, women should give themselves some more time.  Very often, a woman may not feel attracted to a man initially, but after she gets to know him she finds him much more attractive than before. 

A word of caution:  Although physical attraction is essential, you can't base a marriage on physicality.  Whatever is going on physically is meant to be an expression of something deep that is happening on the emotional and spiritual level.  The rule is - make sure that physical attraction is there, but don't get swept away by it.  The other three characteristics are just as important, if not more so.

So there you have it.  The next time you date someone, put what you've learned here into practice.  It'll save you a lot of time and heartache, and you might find yourself walking down the aisle faster than you think.

Friday, November 25, 2011

3 Things That Can Save You When You Don’t Know What To Say

You are dating a beautiful but a shy girl or one
that is not a talkie. You have already talked
about your hobbies, your families and your jobs
and nothing else come into your mind and she is
not really helping you (that’s what you believe).

One of the best ways of having a good, healthy
and wholesome chat with your girlfriend is to
start with small talk. The small talk will give
you a general picture about her likes and
dislikes, as well as what she would like to
discuss and what she would rather leave alone.
Once the small talk gives you a general idea, you
can go ahead and discuss your common likes and
dislikes.

But what is really freaking you are those moment
of silence. Uhh... horrible moments. :) The key
to avoid or get over these horrible moments are:

1. Compliment her

The fact is most people are shy about meeting new
people. I used to be enormously shy. But when you
think about it, shyness is merely a fear that
others won't like you, or that you may be
rejected in some way. It's natural for us to
desire acceptance. So try to make her know that
you like her by making a compliment. But find
something that you really find attractive about
her, about her lifestyle or her personality.  She
will become more confident and more open to share
her believes and her shyness won’t be a problem
for a fluid conversation.

2. Asking open questions

How you ask questions is very important in
establishing a basis for an effective
communication. Effective questions open the door
to knowledge and understanding. The art of
questioning lies in knowing which questions to
ask when.

My favorites questions are "why" and "how"
questions. You can use these frequently without
being annoying. She will feel that you are
interested in what she is telling you and will
develop her answers.

Therefore, you should think carefully before
speaking and taking up subjects that might be
repugnant to her.

3. Listen, listen, and listen.

Usually when the woman starts talking about her
favorite subjects (feelings, family,
relationships, friends and her work) many men
lose interest or bring the conversation back to
themselves. This is one of the biggest mistake
men are doing all the time.

They also like to exchange jokes and anecdotes
and spend a fair amount of time playing one-up
and boasting. Stop doing that!!!

Allow HER to have HER points of view, while you
have yours. Men have felt like they have either
had to abandon their own beliefs in order to try
to get a woman, OR they had to fight with women
about what they believe in. Both approaches lead
to failure.

She is not there with you just to hear about your
hero "qualities", but to have a great time!

Thursday, November 24, 2011

5 Tips To Make Your Fiancee Respect You

Respect is one of the basic human values. As it applies to people, is defined as an attitude of admiration or esteem for a person. This feeling is generally a result of a person's achievements. While all people deserve respect, not many of they receive this.

Everyone wants to be respected by others but not all of them get it. It’s important to first define who a respectable person is before giving respect to him.

First of all you have to keep in mind that in order to demand respect, you will have to treat others with equal amount of respect.

‘Respect’ is just a word, but what it means and what it distinguishes for us can make all the difference in how we observe ourselves and others — as well as how we relate to future possibilities and choices.

Many successful relationships have been built around different political or religious believes, but it all boils down to respect. They are based on the belief that both partners are equal, that the power and control in the relationship are equally share. In a relationship, respect means to listening each other, valuing each other's
opinions, and also understanding the other's emotions.


If you want to make you respectable by your girlfriend, here are some helpful tips which may use.

1. First of all it is very important to have self respect.  Treat yourself with respect. If she sees that you don't have any respect for yourself she might consider that she doesn't have to show you either, because it is not important to you at all.

2. What you give is what you take. Show respect if you want to be respectable. Everyone wants to be admired and appreciated. If you show your girlfriend that she is important to you, you'll be easily in their good graces. Be attentive, give compliments, and make her feel comfortable with you and content. Simply admire the person you are with and listen carefully when she talks. So, she'll love to spend time with you.

3. Relax. Women think men are mediocre because they have a boring personality. So, when you have a date with her relax and have fun so she will feel great with you, because if she finds you boring you may get dumped. If you make her feel good she will respect you for the funny guy you are, being the person who can make her smile even when she is very sad.

4. Don't lie. We all now that women don't like to be lied to. If she had caught you with a lie she will definitely not have any more respect for you.  But, if she sees that you are sincere to her all the time, she will be proud of you and will show more and more respect for you.

5. Be confident and polite. Look into her eyes when she talks to you and make her feel that you are a person who can trust in. Show her that she can talk with you about any subject or problem she has and can count on your help. Don't forget to be polite, this will bring a reciprocal respect.


When you are in a relationship you must be treated with respect, which means your girlfriend must act like this:

- lets you feel comfortable being yourself

- is able to admit when she is wrong

- is willing to compromise

- respects your opinions, feelings and friends

- tries to resolve conflicts by talking honesty

- accepts when you’re saying no at things you don't want to do

So, take a deep look at your relationship and watch out if your girlfriend is making all this things for you and if not you should try this tips to make her respect you.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

5 Ways To Ensure You Will Have a Happy Life After Divorce

In fact, think about having a life after divorce while getting a divorce can be a sticking point for some people because they just aren't sure what their life will "look like" after divorce.

Here's 5 things to keep in mind so can have a life after divorce:

Life after divorce item 1: Think about your emotional stability...if you wanted the divorce or not, you must face it head on.
Divorce is tough and whether you're going through it or your are already past it, your emotional stability is of vital importance because you might tend to be somewhat touchy after going through an emotional ordeal. Keep in mind that your life after divorce can be great but you must admit that you will go through (or have gone through) a trying time in your life. Admitting this and facing your situation head on is important to your emotional stability and critical to you having a happy life after divorce.

Life after divorce item 2: Look at the bright side, having life after divorce could be a new start for you!
How may times in your life do you wish you could have just started over knowing what you know now? If you answered "many", don't worry, that's a common thought most of us have. Having a positive mental attitude about your new beginning will make a huge difference in how happy your life will be after divorce. Life after divorce can be fantastic and it can also be very tough if you don't remain positive about a what's in front of you. Look at the glass as being "half full" and realize that, in order to be happy after divorce, you must take advantage of the opportunity to get a fresh start!

Life after divorce item 3: Surround yourself with people you like in your free time.
Too often times people start new relationships with just about anyone because they are lonely while getting a divorce or after getting a divorce. Sparking a relationship, romantic or friendly, with anyone and everyone who will spend time with you can contribute to unhappiness in your life after divorce. Stop and think about the people that you spend time with and ask yourself, "Once my emotional turmoil has ended, would I really want to keep the relationship going with this person?". Life after divorce is tough...so, when you're deciding about divorce, going through one, or already have been through a divorce, make sure that you carefully choose who to spend your free time with or you may fall into more negativity in your life after divorce.

Life after divorce item 4: Make it a point to spend time doing things that you like to do every week.
Make sure that you spend time enjoying your life after divorce - don't forget to 'stop and smell the roses'. Some people vent, work, go into hiding, or just plain go haywire after getting a divorce and their subsequent life after divorce isn't as healthy as possible. At least once a week, take the time to go and do something that you really enjoy doing...it will help you deal with your life after divorce in a more pleasing manner.

Life after divorce item 5: Set specific goals and implement a plan to achieve those goals.
Life after divorce is a tumultuous time, your life can seemingly be 'in the balance'. In order to make sure that you feel good about yourself and enjoy the feeling that accomplishment brings, think about a goal or set of goals that you've always had but never attained. Then, prioritize those goals and devise a plan to obtain them, one by one. Implement each plan and be happy (in fact celebrate) once you've reached your goal. Your life after divorce will be markedly better and healthier if you take this concept to heart and follow it.

Visualizing your life after divorce (and thinking about what your life might be like after divorce) is a sound and logical thing to do in order to be happy after divorce. Your life after divorce does not need to be a continuation of the pain you might have gone through or are currently going through.

Life after divorce can be extremely liberating if you act based on logic plus positive emotions rather than negativity. If divorce is eminent or you've already been through divorce, take the time to actually plan your life after divorce.

In fact, think about having a life after divorce while getting a divorce can be a sticking point for some people because they just aren't sure what their life will "look like" after divorce.

Here's 5 things to keep in mind so can have a life after divorce:

Life after divorce item 1: Think about your emotional stability...if you wanted the divorce or not, you must face it head on.
Divorce is tough and whether you're going through it or your are already past it, your emotional stability is of vital importance because you might tend to be somewhat touchy after going through an emotional ordeal. Keep in mind that your life after divorce can be great but you must admit that you will go through (or have gone through) a trying time in your life. Admitting this and facing your situation head on is important to your emotional stability and critical to you having a happy life after divorce.

Life after divorce item 2: Look at the bright side, having life after divorce could be a new start for you!
How may times in your life do you wish you could have just started over knowing what you know now? If you answered "many", don't worry, that's a common thought most of us have. Having a positive mental attitude about your new beginning will make a huge difference in how happy your life will be after divorce. Life after divorce can be fantastic and it can also be very tough if you don't remain positive about a what's in front of you. Look at the glass as being "half full" and realize that, in order to be happy after divorce, you must take advantage of the opportunity to get a fresh start!

Life after divorce item 3: Surround yourself with people you like in your free time.
Too often times people start new relationships with just about anyone because they are lonely while getting a divorce or after getting a divorce. Sparking a relationship, romantic or friendly, with anyone and everyone who will spend time with you can contribute to unhappiness in your life after divorce. Stop and think about the people that you spend time with and ask yourself, "Once my emotional turmoil has ended, would I really want to keep the relationship going with this person?". Life after divorce is tough...so, when you're deciding about divorce, going through one, or already have been through a divorce, make sure that you carefully choose who to spend your free time with or you may fall into more negativity in your life after divorce.

Life after divorce item 4: Make it a point to spend time doing things that you like to do every week.
Make sure that you spend time enjoying your life after divorce - don't forget to 'stop and smell the roses'. Some people vent, work, go into hiding, or just plain go haywire after getting a divorce and their subsequent life after divorce isn't as healthy as possible. At least once a week, take the time to go and do something that you really enjoy doing...it will help you deal with your life after divorce in a more pleasing manner.

Life after divorce item 5: Set specific goals and implement a plan to achieve those goals.
Life after divorce is a tumultuous time, your life can seemingly be 'in the balance'. In order to make sure that you feel good about yourself and enjoy the feeling that accomplishment brings, think about a goal or set of goals that you've always had but never attained. Then, prioritize those goals and devise a plan to obtain them, one by one. Implement each plan and be happy (in fact celebrate) once you've reached your goal. Your life after divorce will be markedly better and healthier if you take this concept to heart and follow it.

Visualizing your life after divorce (and thinking about what your life might be like after divorce) is a sound and logical thing to do in order to be happy after divorce. Your life after divorce does not need to be a continuation of the pain you might have gone through or are currently going through.

Life after divorce can be extremely liberating if you act based on logic plus positive emotions rather than negativity. If divorce is eminent or you've already been through divorce, take the time to actually plan your life after divorce.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

An Apple on Your Head, Relationship Physics

Attempts to describe the differences and similarities of men and women have been made by philosophers, church leaders, and day-time TV.  All have failed.

Our ancestors lived in trees, then we evolved.  Sort of.  After centuries of development men still tend to hunt and gather.  Men still consider their role to be the provider, to bring home the clubbed furry thing for lunch.  Do women still select their mate for his physical prowess? "Him big, make good hunter."

Women still tend to nurture and play their supportive role in our homes made of sticks and stone.  It is women who have this unique ability to bear more hunters.  It is women who still prepare the dead furry thing by combining it with organic matter plucked form the earth.   Do men select their women based on physical child bearing attributes? "Big things, make good mother."

Anthropologists have offered indisputable scientific proof that men and women are different, and have evolved according to some kind of physical law and cultural rule.  They tell us men and women have behaved much the same since the beginning.  So by now we should have it all figured out.  Men and women should live in their cave and form a bond, based on their primitive need to please the other and to protect their symbiotic relationship.

If it were so, then how do we account for the divorce rate?  How do we account for the thousands of unhappy marriages?  Sir Isaac Newton, a 17th Century scientist, might explain it using his laws of physics.

1.  "An object at rest tends to stay at rest and an object in motion tends to stay in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force."

Soccer mom drives the SUV from field to field and will continue to do so unless she is interrupted by a stationary object called a post.   Cooking and cleaning mom tends to continue cooking and cleaning unless she has to rush to aerobics class, or pick up the kids. 

Working man tends to stay at work unless he is interrupted with a request to show up before the diner is cold, and bring home a loaf of bread.  TV man tends to stay at rest unless the game is over and has to use the sandbox, or is out of beer, or both.

2.   "The acceleration of an object as produced by a net force is directly proportional to the magnitude of the net force, in the same direction as the net force, and inversely proportional to the mass of the object."

Most people think of this as dropping bricks and feathers from tall buildings.  It's really a reference to the relationship habits of  man and woman.  See, back in the 17th century, and anthropologists will agree, women were considered to be objects, and men were the force.

If you read the 2nd law again it would be:

She moves faster to her mother or to her lover when he pushes her harder. Or, he pushes her by doing nothing at all, especially around the house on weekends when he claims that he needs to rest so he can continue to work and earn money so she can have the SUV to take the kids to soccer and ballet and swimming and rush home to cook and finish the laundry and be ready for sex when he is finished playing on the computer and gets an erection.

3. "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction."

This simple writer firmly believes and affirms that Sir Isaac's third law explains just about every relationship thing between man and woman.

This physics law, this law of nature, this universal man-woman law, explains what is going to happen to him when he forgets her birthday.  It also explains why she get's him exactly the right colour cover for his golf clubs, or the right size shirt with the button down collar that goes with his pants that she gave him last month.

The third law also explains why she reacts the way she does when he brings her flowers.  Or phones her when he will be late.  Or doesn't forget her birthday.  Or takes her to dinner, or takes the kids to soccer so she can have a rest.  Or gives her a hug.  Or stops what he is doing, or not doing, and simply listens to her.

Or says, "I love you" and means it.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Are you interested in alternative dating?

The great thing about dating in this day and age is the versatility and availability of methods to seek out your preferred type of person or activity. Dating can be confusing and frustrating, no matter what your situation. Here are some alternative dating ideas that may appeal to people who don't want to go down the traditional route of seeking a mate.
Singles bars have been around for a long time, and though they may not appeal to everyone they are ideal because everyone has the same goal in mind.  You're all in the same boat, and it may not be subtle but it certainly is straightforward. 
Speed dating gives you an even shorter time to make an impression. As an alternative dating technique, it can be a lot of fun. You sit opposite someone and each of you have a few minutes to tell the other about yourself. When the bell rings you move on to the next table, start at square one and repeat. If someone bores you to tears, your suffering is short-lived. At the end of the evening, you connect with those that tickled your fancy and go from there. If you didn't meet anyone you clicked with, there's no pressure and you can simply go home and attend the next session.  This is becoming a very popular technique for singles, and even those who may mock it and perhaps go 'as a joke' or on a dare end up enjoying themselves.
Dating agencies have become quite popular in recent times. Professional people who lead busy lives like to use them. It's an alternative dating method that is not foolproof but it's somewhat safer, as all clients have gone through a filtering system. Many agencies utilize video dating, whereby the client makes a brief video of themselves and has access to other client videos for perusal. You don't have long to make an impression, so it's best to just be yourself. You want to come across as a genuine person, not a phony.
Many communities have singles groups that embark on fun activities together, and this is is a great alternative dating method.  Events like biking, bowling, curling, movie nights, dancing and comedy clubs are organized by the singles group, and it allows an evenly-distributed group of participants to have a fun and casual night.  With emphasis put on the activity itself instead of making a romantic connection, it takes a lot of pressure off the singles and attractions occur more naturally in this type of setting.
Fix Your Marriage


Wednesday, November 16, 2011

"Seduction Techniques" - Are They For Losers?

Imagine that you are already in your college days and still you can’t find a date. Or even asking someone for a date is a misery for you. In short, you find it hard to approach women and lacks confidence in yourself.

Seduction techniques in this new millennium are on the rise. Seduction techniques can greatly help guys who find it hard to get the women they always wanted. So it is never a problem now. Seduction as thought by many is not wrong. You are just simply studying the best techniques that will make dating and picking up easier. Seduction techniques in the other hand are simply getting to know and basically mastering the proper ways of attracting women.

But did you know that seduction techniques are not just for men? It is also most useful too for women. These are the women who have been waiting to get noticed by their special men. Well it is indeed nowadays, a perfect help that life has to offer. Not that it is offering easy tactics on how to collect men or women – but making it easier to enjoy life and find that perfect mate. Seduction techniques are commonly practiced by people who are not well skilled in terms of attracting the opposite sex. Not that they are ugly or what, but there are just people who needs seduction techniques to boost their self-esteem and develop confidence in their selves. Seduction techniques are therefore not as bad as other think of unless you are using it to enhance the inner skills that humans usually possess.

Seduction techniques are not generally focused on developing your tactics on attracting the opposite sex. It can also be very helpful in businesses. Like for example, you are a car salesman. And you find it very hard to approach prospective clients. You are wasting your time and effort on studying how to deal with them when you can actually make business with them. Seduction technique is one great help. You wouldn’t imagine how it can greatly affect your sales by simply practicing the principles used in seduction techniques.

Job seekers can also benefit from seduction techniques. While on interview, you can mesmerize the interviewer with the tactics that you have learned in seduction techniques. Not that you are inviting them to indulge into sexual activities, but you can impress them with the way you are boosting your self. Seduction techniques can tame any roaring beasts.

Seduction technique in general is an absolute solution for losers, men and women who possess low self-esteem, job seekers and even businessmen. People who are in immense need for help, in terms of capturing the hearts of the people they always wanted will be overwhelmed if they discover the wander of the so-called seduction technique. So go, and share the seduction technique to your friends whom you know are suffering from different encumbrance in their lives. You can absolutely be of great help in solving the miseries of their own lives.



Monday, November 14, 2011

Advices For A Good Marriage

Advice for a good marriage can in some cases seem a little obvious, but in a lot of cases it can seem like just the advice you need. When you are involved in a long term relationship, sometimes it's hard to see the wood for the trees, and it takes only the most basic advice for us to see what is wrong. Check this article out for more information.

Advice for a good marriage 1
The best piece of advice is to be honest with yourself about when it is and isn't working. If you kid yourself that everything is fine when it isn't, things are hardly likely to get better-in fact you will usually notice things getting steadily worse. The sooner you spot and admit to problems, the sooner you can move past them. Half the work is done as soon as you admit something is wrong, so don't be afraid.

Advice for a good marriage 2
Learn to communicate effectively. Too often relationships degenerate into accusations and fighting as the default method of interaction. Can you honestly hope for things to last if that's how you both behave? If you have something under your skin, sit down and talk it out. Talking about things sensibly rarely makes things worse-unlike accusations and arguing!

Advice for a good marriage 3
Understand that you can't fix the problems in your marriage solely fixing your partner's behaviour. A marriage is exactly that-the joining of two people-so it's not healthy to make one person do all the changing and adapting. This will not lead to a healthy relationship. It's much better to sit and talk it out and then work out how you can both make things better for each other. It's also a lot easier this way, as each of you will usually only need to make small adjustments to keep the other happy.

Advice for a good marriage 4
Learn the difference between being in love and falling in love. When you fall in love, the person can do no wrong and people are able to behave in ways that their partner may not necessarily agree with in a normal state of mind. That's why it can take work to stay in love-the love is still there, but you can't expect to act however you please and for it to still be there. Love is like a fire, it sometimes needs to be tended to make sure it still burns.

Advice for a good marriage 5
Understand the principles of marriage karma-you get what you give, so if you go the extra yard for your partner and prove yourself to be kind, caring and considerate, the chances are they will act a lot more like that toward you too. Think about when you see couples that are really in love-it's rarely just one of them doing the kind things is it?

Hopefully this advice for a good marriage will help you out. Check out the links below for some great information on fixing your marriage for good.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

3 Situations You HAVE To Lie To Your Woman

It's no surprise that both genders rely on lying to some extent. They just do it differently and sometimes for different reasons.

All humans, especially women say they want their partner to be honest. Is this the truth? Can you keep a relationship up and running if you are telling the truth all the time?

Imagine that you just have brought your girlfriend at your home, to spend the night together for the first time. You have made a great effort to arrange and clean your home and especially the bedroom. You are proud about this and ask your partner what she believes about your home.

She responds "It is a little old fashioned... and something smells bad in here". Ups!  Ok.

You two pass through this awkward moment, then you start kissing each other, but you make a joke about... the size of your penis, and instead to hear the most used reply: "hey, relax, size really doesn't matter", she tells you that her ex was quite huge.

Ups... Not again. :)

If she were to say just two little lies everything could be great, but now...

The truth is, telling a few lies can be one of the best ways to keep your relationship healthy.

So if you want to keep her happy and keep getting laid, you're going to have to learn how to lie - and lie convincingly. The trick is figuring out what she wants to hear.

1. Never mention your sexual past... especially if it was a good one. If your girlfriend asks you what it was like or how good your ex was, you can tell a lie if you have to. Say it wasn't all that good. Don't ever mention her. Even if what you're saying is uncomplimentary, it will still have a negative effect. You bringing her up hints that she's still on your mind.

2. When it comes about how she looks, if you picked her to be your partner, you have to make her feel that she is a WOMAN. Every woman has something beautiful, something sexy and attractive, and if you make her know that you find her attractive she will be more confident, wilder and more passionate. But when she asks you about something you don't really like at her look, never but never tell her your true opinion. Just say that it is OK and pass over the moment. If you are telling her that you don't like something at her, she will feel frustrated and become more inhibited.

3. Everybody knows that women have more sensibility than men. So pay attention to her sensibility and don't make bad jokes about other people (especially her family) or let her know when you are up to take the cat and throw it out through the window.  She will find you insensitive and you will lose points.  Use your common sense and try not to hurt your woman’s feelings even if you have to say a little lie from time to time.

Overall, lying is a bad thing to do. But when it comes to women, you really have no choice.

The little white lies don't hurt anyone and are only meant as reassurance every now and then

It's therefore okay to tell a person what they want to hear.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

9 Ways To Cope With Wedding Speech Nerves

If you’re not used to public speaking, then making a wedding speech can be very daunting. With this in mind, I have prepared a few important tips to help you overcome your nerves and deliver a great wedding speech.

1. Remember these people are on your side. They aren’t secretly hoping you’ll mess things up. The reason you’re there giving a speech is because you are connected with the people there, and so are the audience. Bearing this in mind, you can rest assured that anything you say in your wedding speech will be listened to and respected fully.

Also, people listening to speeches at weddings are wanting to laugh as this breaks the tension. So any vague attempt of a joke will get you a response.

2. Practice your wedding speech thoroughly. The more your practice, the less nervous you’ll feel on the actual day. Remember to practice the intonation of your voice and the pauses. By showing you’ve put effort into your preparation, any mistakes you may make on the day will be easily forgiven.

3. Learn your speech by heart. Whenever you have some spare time, in the car on the way to work, in the shower or wherever…practice your speech. Repeat it over and over again as many times as you can before the big day. You will feel much calmer on the big day as you’ll know the whole speech inside out.

4. Remember to breathe. As simple as this sounds, it is often overlooked. Practice where you’ll take a breath in the speech, and learn to breathe correctly. Diaphragmatic breathing, as used by singers and public speakers, will help you here. If you’re unfamiliar with this, a quick search on Google will show you.

5. Think of a funny story before you stand up. Nothing so funny that you loose you focus, but something mildly titillating that will bring a smile to your face. This will loosen you up, and give a nice energy to your wedding speech that will improve the delivery immensely.

6. Have a banana 20 minutes before you make your speech. This tip is often used by professional public speakers, and helps the nerves of many people. It also gives a nice energy boost which helps reduce your nerves.

7. Speak slowly and clearly. If you are nervous, you will feel the urge to speed up and your speech will become unclear. So try to consciously slow yourself down and speak clear so people can hear what you say.

8. Make eye contact with people in the audience so it feels like your just chatting with everyone who is there.

9. Lastly, remember to simply enjoy yourself! Your life isn’t going to end if you make a few mistakes…and it will be over in just a few minutes. Have fun!

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Why Communication Breaks Down

By Aphys Fade

One of the most crucial elements in any relationship is communication and when communication breaks down its imperative that you find out the cause of the breakdown so that you can try to fix the problem before it destroys the relationship.  Communication can break down in a relationship for a variety of reasons including the birth of a baby, financial strains and distrust in the relationship.  Regardless of the cause of the communication break down, it is vital to the health of the relationship to reopen the lines of communication. 

While the birth of a couple’s first child may be a glorious and blessed event that they were both looking forward to, the arrival of a new baby may put strains on the relationship.  Specifically there may be a communication break down after the baby’s birth.  There are a number of reasons why communication breaks down after the birth of a baby.  The addition of a new element into the relationship that previously included just the two partners can be stressful.  While they don’t begrudge the attention that their partner lavishes on the new baby it does take an adjustment period to deal with the fact that they no longer have their partner’s undivided attention.  As the couple learns to balance their time and ensure that both their partner and their child are receiving enough of their attention, there may be a period where the stress of making this adjustment causes a break down in communication.  Also, typically the birth of a baby leads to a complete change of schedule as well as a stretch of sleep deprivation for the couple.  While the couple may have previously been used to doing things as they please, they now realize that most activities must be planned around the baby’s schedule which is often unpredictable.  This new scheduled coupled with the lack of sleep that typically plagues new parents can put a great deal of pressure on the relationship.  To avoid this type of communication break down it is important for the couple to realize that they need to allot time to spend with the baby and also with each other.  They also need to realize that the sleep deprivation is affecting them both and take turns getting up with the baby.  These few simple steps can go a long way in reversing or preventing a communication break down.  Although a new couple loves their new baby, the challenge of adapting to the baby’s schedule can be one reason why communication breaks down in a relationship and it is up to the couple to ensure that their relationship does not suffer a communication break down. 

A concern over financial matters is another reason why communication breaks down.  Struggling with financial issues can be extremely stressful for either one or both partners in a relationship.  If one partner typically handles the finances in a relationship they may not wish to worry their partner so they may struggle internally with the financial concerns.  While this is a noble gesture, it can also cause a communication break down in the relationship.  The one partner may feel that this is a burden they need to bear on their own and therefore avoid talking about the subject with their partner.  The problem with this is that in trying to avoid conversations regarding finances they may end up avoiding conversations all together.  For example, a conversation about where to go out to dinner may be avoided because thinking about spending too much money on leisure activities causes too much anxiety on one of the partners.  The partner who is unaware of the financial concerns may be offended by their partner’s avoidance of a simple conversation.  One way to avoid or reverse having a communication break down over finances is to share the responsibility of the finances and openly discuss concerns over financial matters.  Doing this will ensure that neither partner becomes consumed by financial matters and allows it to affect the relationship.  Finances can induce enough stress to destroy even the most secure relationships by causing a communication break down but planning ahead and speaking openly about finances can help a couple to avoid a communication break down. 

Distrust is another factor that can affect communication in a relationship.  If one of the partners has a reason to be suspicious of the other it creates a distrust that directly affects communication.  Also, if one person has a reason to feel guilty in a relationship, it may result in a break down in communication.  This lack of trust or guilt often results in the couple not wanting to communicate either because they don’t want to have their suspicions confirmed or because they don’t want their secret to be revealed.  These feelings of suspicion or guilt may lead to strained conversations that are purposefully not very meaningful.  One way to avoid a break down in communication in this situation is to always be upfront with your partner.  Whether it’s suspicion or guilt that is driving your fear of communication, being honest with your partner will alleviate your fears and reopen the lines of communication.  You run the risk of having your suspicions confirmed but it’s better to be sure than to destroy your relationship while doubt remains. 

Since open and honest communication is critical to a healthy relationship, it’s important to understand why communication breaks down and work to avoid a break down in communication.  Having an understanding of the causes of communication break down will help you to either avoid or reverse this situation.  Maintaining or restoring communication can ensure that a relationship endures and thrives.