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Thursday, December 30, 2010

10 Sure Fire Tips for Meeting New People Part Two

You may also meet new people by signing up for a local recreational sports league.  Most major cities have leagues available where you can sign up as an individual and fill in on a team that is short a player.  While it may be fun to join this league with a group of your existing friends, signing up as an individual is a surefire way to meet new people.

Attending religious services is another surefire way to meet new people.  The service itself may just be an hour long ceremony that does not promote meeting new people but religious groups often participate in a variety of other activities and are usually forming committees for many of these activities.  Signing up for one of these committees affords you the chance to meet a few members of the congregation on an individual basis.

Becoming involved in local politics may lead to meeting new people.  Getting involved in local politics can be a touchy subject because many of the people you meet may feel extremely passionate about their opinions.  While this can be troublesome if you meet those with opinions that differ, you are also likely to meet many people who share opinions similar to yours.

Venturing to a nightclub or bar alone can be another surefire tip for meeting new people.  Nightclubs and bars are traditionally thought of as places to meet new people but many people who visit these venues have trouble meeting people.  The problem is that going out with a large group of friends makes you less approachable.  Try visiting a bar alone and you may find yourself meeting more people than ever before.

Don’t pass up wedding or other party invitations just because you don’t have a date because attending these events solo can be a surefire way to meet new people.  Many people would decline invitations for a function instead of going along but going alone can be your ticket to meeting new people.  You will be likely to find others who are also attending the party without a date and this can be a great opportunity to strike up a conversation and meet some new people.

A final surefire tip for meeting new people is to attend a sporting event for a sport you enjoy.  Here you will find many other people who have a similar interest and your common interest can lead to a new relationship.  Sporting events also offer fans the chance to celebrate and commiserate together as their favorite team has its ups and downs.

If you seriously want to start meeting new people the first step is to start getting out of your house more often.  Once you are out, be sure to make yourself available by traveling solo and making eye contact with those you are interested in meeting.  Also, spend time participating in activities that you enjoy and you are much more likely to meet new people who share your interests.  Getting out more, engaging in activities you enjoy and making yourself available while also taking a few risks by starting conversations are some surefire tips for meeting new people.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

10 Sure Fire Tips for Meeting New People Part One

In order to meet new people, you have to get out and make yourself available to new acquaintances.  It’s highly unlikely that you will meet many people while sitting alone in your living room watching television or playing video games.  It’s one thing to want to meet new people but it is quite another thing to actually start meeting new people.  If you really desire to start meeting some new people try making an effort to go out at least 4 nights a week and engage in an activity that you enjoy. 

If you enjoy reading, libraries and book stores are your best bet for meeting people with similar interests.  You can spend a weekend day or an evening perusing the racks at a local library or book store.  Make sure to spend the majority of your time searching in sections that you enjoy but spend your time people watching instead of reading.  You are more likely to meet someone with similar interests if you stick to what you like.  If you notice someone looking at a book you have read or were planning to read, be bold and approach them.  Using the book as a conversation starter gives you a starting point. 

If you enjoy a physical activity such as running, make an effort to visit local stores that sell sneakers in an effort to meet new people.  Since running is a subject that you are knowledgeable about and enjoy you may find yourself in a situation where you are able to offer your opinion or advice.  For example if you notice someone who seems to be struggling to decide between two running shoes, don’t hesitate to jump in an offer your opinion.  If you are knowledgeable about a subject most people will appreciate your opinion so offering advice about your area of expertise is one surefire tip for meeting new people. 

Visiting local art museums and taking an interest in a specific piece of art can be a surefire tip for meeting new people.  Chose your favorite piece of art and spend a little time lingering near this exhibit.  If you spend enough time by your favorite exhibit, you are bound to overhear someone else admiring the art.  You can take this opportunity to strike up a conversation about why you like the exhibit as well and offer your interpretation of the piece. 

Joining a volunteer group for a cause you support is another surefire way to meet new people.  You will meet many people who feel passionately about the same cause and will instantly have something to talk about.  Additionally these groups often organize many projects and joining different committees will allow you to not only help out the group but also meet a variety of new people in the process.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Why Women Cheat

Years ago a woman cheating on her spouse was unheard of but in modern times the number of women who cheat on their spouse is growing exponentially.  The differences in men and women cheating is that men often cheat for physical reasons while women often have emotional reasons for cheating on their partner.  The reasons why women cheat include loneliness, revenge, boredom and self esteem.  These factors may be inexcusable but they do exist in the minds of a cheating woman.  More and more women are becoming guilty of cheating on their partners and it is often emotional reasons rather than lust that drive them to these affairs. 

Loneliness is one of the primary reasons that women seek out affairs and cheat on their partner.  Although it sounds contradictory that they should feel lonely because the women are currently in a relationship, it is often a relationship that is not emotionally fulfilling.  Women involved in these unsatisfactory relationships may feel as lonely if not more so than women who are not in a relationship.  If a woman is not receiving the attention she feels she deserves in a relationship, she may be tempted to seek that attention elsewhere and become involved in an affair.  A partner who becomes overly involved with his work or a hobby may not make time to spend with his partner and this often results in the women feeling as if they are all alone.  This feeling of loneliness can drive a woman to cheat on her partner.  One of the most prevalent reasons why women cheat is that they feel as though their current partner is not lavishing much attention on them and they feel lonely even in his presence. 

Revenge has also become and increasing factor in why women cheat.  The modern woman is no longer willing to sit back and accept the fact that their partner may cheat on them.  If a woman confirms or even just holds a suspicion that their partner is cheating on them, they may be driven to engage in an affair of their own as an act of revenge.  The theory of, “An eye for an eye,” has unfortunately trickled down into the realm of romantic relationships and many women see a cheating partner as a justification to have an affair of their own.  They believe that they are justified in having an affair if they catch their partner cheating on them.  Furthermore they may be extremely hurt by their partner’s actions and seek a way to hurt them in the same way.  While it is not a justifiable reason, many women see revenge as an appropriate reason for cheating on their spouse.  Eleven Reasons Why Women Cheat


Boredom may also factor into why women cheat.  Their current relationship may have fallen into a rut and lost the excitement that it possessed in the early stages of its existence.  They may feel that their relationship has become dull and predictable and rather than trying to bring excitement into their current relationship they may pursue affairs in the hopes of achieving the excitement they felt when they first became involved with their partner.  While an affair may bring about a temporary solution of making the woman feel excited about love again it may ultimately destroy both their current relationship as well as their cheating relationship.  An affair is exciting not only because it involves a relationship with a new person but also because it involves sneaking around and ultimately getting away with doing something wrong.  To many women this is very exciting and they are willing to risk losing their relationship over their affair.  Many women cheat because they are bored with the monotony of their current relationship and they seek to bring excitement back into their life through engaging in an affair. 

Another reason why women cheat is a lack of self esteem.  Women may feel that they are not getting an adequate amount of admiration from their partner and they may be tempted to cheat to affirm that they are still attractive and desirable.  When a relationship meets a stagnant point where the partners are no longer making a conscious effort to reassure each other that they are still desirable, many women begin to feel insecure.  This insecurity leads women to seek affirmation of their desirability outside of the relationship in the form of an affair.  Being found desirable by another compensates for the lack of longing they feel from their partner and helps to boost their self esteem.  While women with a healthy self esteem are more apt to remain happy in a relationship, those that lack self esteem are often driven to cheat on their partners. 

Men are not the only ones who cheat on their partners.  It is becoming more and more common for women to be guilty of cheating.  While women are beginning to cheat as often as men the reasons why women cheat are much different than the reasons why men cheat.  The reasons for women cheating are tied tightly to emotional reasons such as loneliness, revenge and boredom.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

10 Tips For a More Exciting Relationship Part 2

Another way to bring the excitement back into your relationship is to set up a date night.  While you may see each other daily and even go out to dinner every Friday night, setting up a date night outside of your usual schedule will enhance your relationship.  Don’t just schedule a night to go out to dinner but treat each of these date nights as if they were first dates.  Go all out getting yourself dressed up and take special care in your appearance.  Prepare for your date night as if you were really trying to make a good first impression.  Going out of your way to have at least one night of fun and romance a week will help add a little zing to your relationship.

Giving your mate gifts for no reason at all is another way to get your relationship back on track.  You may have lavished gifts on your partner early in the relationship but as the relationship progressed you may not have done so as frequently.  Small, meaningful gifts given just to make your partner happy will let them know that they are still always on your mind just as they were in the beginning of the relationship.

The simple act of holding hands can also add excitement back into a relationship.  This intimate gesture conveys a sense of security but it also lets your partner know that you want to be close to them at all times.  Many couples hold hands everywhere they go early in a relationship but don’t do so later on.  Try grabbing your partners hand as you are out running errands together.  They will be touched by the sentiment and will be happy to be sharing a sense of closeness with you again.

A kiss is still another way to bring the excitement back into your relationship.  You may have gotten into the habit of giving your mate a kiss on the cheek or a quick peck on the lips when you see them after a long day of work.  Trying kissing them with passion the next time you see them to catch them by surprise and really let you know not only how much you love them but how attractive you find them as well.

Having a common interest can also promote excitement in a relationship.  If there is an activity that you both enjoy doing, make it something that the two of you do together often.  For example if you both enjoy hiking make plans to go hiking every Saturday morning and each time you go out make it a little different by exploring a new location or setting new goals for yourselves.  This will give the two of you a chance to reconnect while enjoying each other’s company.  Having a ritualistic activity that you and your partner enjoy together creates closeness and intimacy that can help put the excitement back into your relationship.

Offering your partner a massage when they are worn out and tired can also bring the excitement back to your relationship.  A massage can be a very sensual and intimate experience.  Additionally offering a massage lets your partner know that you can see that they are stressed out and exhausted.  They will appreciate your putting them first in the relationship and this will help bring back the excitement in your relationship.

Over time a relationship may lose some of the excitement that it had in the very beginning.  While this may be troublesome it is also completely normal and also reversible.  Noticing the lack of excitement in your relationship is the first step to restoring that excitement.  It may take a little work but with a few simple actions you can be on your way to an exciting relationship.
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Thursday, December 16, 2010

10 Tips For a More Exciting Relationship Part 1

Most relationships are very exciting in the beginning but if you have been in your current relationship for awhile already you may have noticed that the initial excitement you experienced is starting to waiver and you and your partner may be settling into a dull routine.  As a relationship progresses one or both partners may be guilty of settling into complacency and may not strive to keep the element of excitement in their relationship.  The following are a few tips for ensuring that your relationship stays as exciting as it was in the beginning. 

Never underestimate the value of spontaneity in a relationship.  Too often relationships lose their excitement because the mates fall into a routine that becomes boring as time goes by.  Don’t be afraid to suggest new activities in your relationship or to try new things on a whim.  Being spontaneous doesn’t have to involve big decisions it can be as simple as picking up something new at the grocery store and trying a new recipe for dinner.  Whatever you do, just let your instincts take over for a minute instead of relying on rationality.  Anything you do that is spontaneous may not work out as well as if you had planned out every last detail but just go with the flow and you’ll find your relationship taking a turn for the better. 

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Exploring a new location together is another way to bring the excitement back into your relationship.  Whether you plan an elaborate trip to an exotic location or just take the bus to a nearby city that you have never visited your adventure together will help spice up your romance.  Take your time exploring the new location and enjoy the foods and atmosphere that the new place has to offer.  Exploring new cities can help bring the thrill back to your relationship. 

Still another way to spice up a waning relationship is to sign up for an instructional class together such as a cooking, dancing or pottery class.  Working together to learn a new skill will draw the two of you closer as you strive to accomplish a goal together.  A class will enable you and your partner to interact in a new way.  This new interaction will help to pull you out of a rut.

Spending a night at a hotel is another way to restore the excitement in your relationship.  Intimacy is very important in a relationship and if you and your partner have found that this aspect of your relationship has lost it’s spice, it’s time to shake things up a bit.  Choose a romantic hotel, preferably one with a cozy restaurant.  Begin by having a wonderful candlelight dinner in the restaurant and then proceed to the room that you have reserved.  Setting the mood with candles and dim lighting is also suggested.  A night in a different location such as a romantic hotel will go a long way towards rekindling your intimate relationship.
To be concluded in the next post

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

What’s Up With Relationship Coaches?

A relationship coach is an expert who literally becomes a part of your relationship for a short time and during that time they evaluate your relationship, act as a visionary in helping you to realize the potential of your relationship and offer tips and guidelines for achieving this potential. A relationship coach often has extensive education in human development or communication and they utilize their educational background to help to enhance your relationship. Relationship coaches are tasked with instilling the skills necessary to produce a more fulfilling relationship and they often do this through listening to your understanding of the problem, observing the couple in action and creating a customized plan of action for the couple. This article will outline the basic functions of a relationship coach and how they can be beneficial in a relationship.

The first step that a relationship coach will often take is to listen to a couple’s complaints about the relationship. While the couple may not be seeing the full problem, their understanding of the existing issues is often a good starting point for a relationship coach to begin her evaluation. It is important that in your initial consultation with a relationship coach, you bring up all of the problems you see with the relationship. While you and your partner may have already discussed these issues at length, your relationship coach needs to hear these issues so that she can be sure to make an effort to observe these issues in the next stage of the process. Being open and honest with your relationship coach about your perception of the problem is crucial to receiving a benefit from the use of a relationship coach. Trying to hide certain issues or neglecting to mention them does not give the relationship coach an accurate representation of your relationship. Furthermore it can be detrimental because if you neglect to mention a particular issue your relationship coach may be inclined to believe that you are satisfied with this aspect of your relationship and may not work to make improvements in this area. In your initial consultation with a relationship coach, you will have the opportunity to offer your take on the relationship and let the coach know what you think is working and what needs improvement.

After the initial consultation a relationship coach will often take some time to evaluate the couple’s relationship through observation. They may come into the couple’s lives on a daily basis and ask them to act normally while they observe the way that the couple interacts. This step is very important because it gives the relationship coach a chance to determine whether or not the couple’s self assessment of their relationship is accurate. The couple may have their own beliefs about why an aspect of their relationship is dysfunctional but through careful observation the relationship coach may determine that the source of the problem is very different from the couple’s perception. While a relationship coach may be able to determine the problems in a couple’s relationship through observation, this is only possibly if the couple makes an honest effort to act naturally during this observation period. If the couple tries to fix their own problems during this phase and does not act naturally it will be difficult for the relationship coach to form a valid opinion about the way the couple interacts.
Once a relationship coach has had the opportunity to meet with the couple and spend some time observing their interactions they will be able to design a customized plan of action for enhancing the relationship and working to improve troubled areas. The relationship coach will often offer exercises for the couple that will help them to see what they are doing wrong in the relationship and how these discrepancies can be fixed. These exercises may involve either role playing activities that address everyday situations the couple faces or tips for communicating in stressful situations when they arise. These exercises may also offer ways for the couple to learn to communicate in new ways for all situations not just those that place stress on the relationship. While the exercises prescribed by the relationship coach may sound either too complicated or too simplistic, it is important to remember that these exercises won’t help your relationship unless you are willing to give them a try. 

Finally it is important to realize when relationship coaching will be effective in a relationship. The general rule of thumb is that if you are considering enlisting the help of a relationship coach, then they will most likely be able to help your relationship. The simple fact that you are considering a relationship coach demonstrates that you have faith in your relationship and are willing to work to improve the relationship. If you have never heard of relationship coaches and a friend or relative suggests one and your attitude is that they won’t be able to help you that that is an indication that you have already given up on the relationship and in this scenario a relationship coach will most likely not be able to help your relationship. The use of a relationship coach is most effective when at least one but preferably both of the partners are committed to doing whatever it takes to salvage the relationship.

Relationship coaches may not be for everyone or every relationship but they can be critical in enhancing a relationship in some situations. It is important to realize that relationship coaches can not solve all of your problems but they can offer you solutions for some problems and exercises for working on these problems. If you are willing to put an honest effort into solving some of the problems in your relationship then you may greatly benefit from the advice of a relationship coach.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Why Men Cheat

The reasons why men cheat in a relationship are often different than the reasons why women cheat.  A man’s reason for cheating can encompass a wide variety of reasons including genetics, a sense of challenge, self esteem and a lack of interest in their current relationship.  While none are justifiable all of these can be reasons why a man chooses to stray and cheat on his current partner. 

Although genetics may factor into why men cheat on their partner it may also just be a week defense for a man who is caught in his unfaithful actions.  A theory exists that testosterone levels in men make them more susceptible to infidelity.  This theory is based on the hypothesis that men are genetically predisposed to cheating because they are ingrained with the notion that the survival of the species is dependent on their procreation.  While this may be true it is certainly not an excuse for unfaithfulness in our age of overpopulation.  It may be true that in prehistoric times, men were tasked with populating the earth this is certainly not true today and is not a defensible excuse for cheating on your partner.  The truth is that in a truly loving relationship a man should be able to control himself and remain faithful despite any hormonal urges to produce offspring.  The theory of man being predisposed to cheating does not hold water because while it may be true, there is no excuse for not being able to quell these urges. 

Another reason men cheat is because they feel a sense of challenge in their infidelity.  Actually being able to get away with an affair is a challenge that men enjoy.  Additionally they enjoy the challenge of finding other women with which to cheat.  To them the affair is more about the conquest then anything else.  Sure they may enjoy the physicality of the affair, but the pursuit and sneaking around is what really drives men who cheat on their partners.  They see fooling their partner as a tremendous accomplishment and they enjoy the logistics of orchestrating the affair without their partner learning of their transgressions.  To them the thrill of sneaking around and the fear of being caught creates and adrenaline rush that is more important than the affair or even their current relationship.  Men also cheat because they are driven by competition.  If there friends are single or cheating on their partners and often have affairs with several women the man may feel that he needs to keep up with his friends.  To these men affairs become a way of competing with their friends.  Infidelity in men is often driven by a sense of competition. 

Many men also engage in affairs because doing so is an ego boost for them.  The knowledge that they can find multiple women willing to engage in an intimate relationship with them is a tremendous self esteem builder for some men.  They take pride in the ability to attract women and don’t care about the fact that doing so may destroy their relationship.  To these men the excitement of the chase is almost more important than the conquest.  Sometimes just knowing that other women find them desirable, is enough to stroke the ego of these men.  In general it is a lack of self esteem on their part that drives them to seek out affairs in order to reiterate their attractiveness and desirability. 

A man who is in an undesirable relationship may also be driven to cheat on their partner.  If the relationship has begun to wane and the man no longer feels the same attraction to his partner he may seek out an affair out of boredom.  If he feels his current relationship is lacking excitement he may also be driven to cheat in the hopes that he will find the excitement he desires elsewhere.  While the wise thing may be to end the deteriorating relationship in search of a new more desirable partner, many men opt to hold onto the current relationship and engage in affairs.  This may be because they fear that they may not find what they are looking for and may be left lonely and without a partner so they hold onto the failing relationship figuring that a bad relationship is better than none at all. 

Men cheat for a variety of reasons.  While none of these reasons may be justified, they do exist.  The reasons that men cheat include genetics, competition, self esteem and boredom.  In general while genetics may play a small part in the urge for men to cheat the majority of cheating takes place because men cannot control their sexual and competitive urges, are lacking in self esteem or are unhappy in their current relationship.
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Monday, December 6, 2010

Marriage Quotes

HANNAH ARENDT:
The right to marry whoever one wishes is an elementary human right compared to which "the right to attend an integrated school, the right to sit where one pleases on a bus, the right to go into any hotel or recreation area or place of amusement, regardless of one's skin or color or race" are minor indeed. Even political rights, like the right to vote, and nearly all other rights enumerated in the Constitution, are secondary to the inalienable human rights to "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" proclaimed in the Declaration of Independence; and to this category the right to home and marriage unquestionably belongs. [Dissent, Winter 1959]



HARRIET MARTINEAU:
Any one must see at a glance that if men and women marry those whom
they do not love, they must love those whom they do not marry.


HELEN ROWLAND:
Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.


HOMER:
There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see
eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and
delighting their friends.


JOHN BERGER:
All weddings are similar, but every marriage is different.


JOSEPH BARTH:
Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up.



JOSH MCDOWELL:
What you are as a single person, you will be as a married person,
only to a greater degree. Any negative character trait will be intensified in
a marriage relationship, because you will feel free to let your guard down
-- that person has committed himself to you and you no longer have to
worry about scaring him off.

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Saturday, December 4, 2010

How to Say “No” and Mean It


It may be hard enough to say no to a request but really meaning it can be even harder.  Many of us are already perpetual suckers who find themselves challenged to even considering answering no to a request.  Those of us who are able to say no, at least initially, often end up giving in and conceding to the request because the one in need was able to see that our answer wasn’t firm and persisted until we gave up and  surrendered to their request.  A few tips for how to say no and mean it include using a firm voice and not offering apologies for your answer, offering a valid reason for your refusal and consistently answering no if the request is repeated. 

A firm and determined tone in your voice is the first step to being able to really say no and mean it.  If you allow your tone to be light the person making the request of you will probably sense that your refusal is not firm.  If your voice does not sound definitive, the other person may make the assumption that your answer is not definitive either and will take another opportunity to repeat their request either immediately or at another time.  A firm voice however, makes it clear that you are not interested in answering yes to this request and that future attempts to get you to acquiesce will be futile.  The tone of voice you use is important when saying no because it conveys the message that you really mean no.  How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty: And Say Yes to More Time, and What Matters Most to You

It is also important to not offer apology when you say no.  Doing so may lead to the person making the request believing that you don’t really mean no.  While it is acceptable to say that you are sorry you won’t be able to help out, offering you apology simply for saying no is not appropriate.  If you apologize for your answer, the person making the request will sense that you can be convinced to change your answer.  Apologizing for a refusal conveys a sense of guilt and many people will prey on that vulnerability to get you to change your mind. 

Another way to convey the message when you say no is to offer valid reasons for your refusal.  This is extremely effective because it lets the person no that your refusal is not based on whim and that you truly have a legitimate reason for not being able to offer your assistance.  You may be too busy to help or have other previous commitments and it is acceptable to offer these excuses to justify your refusal.  If the person making the request understands that you would like to help them but that it’s simply not possibly, they will be less likely to repeat their request.  Offering valid excuses for answering no to a request proves that you really mean no and that future attempts to get you to agree are not reasonable. 

Saying no to a request initially sometimes is not enough to prove that you really mean no.  While you may answer firmly and without apology and offer valid excuses for your refusal, there are some persistent people who may continue to repeat their request in the hopes of receiving a positive answer.  In this scenario it is imperative that you be consistent and answer no every time the request is made.  In doing this you will affirm that your answer is no.  A lack of consistency may result in the other person realizing that you can be worn down over time and that if they continue to repeat their request they will eventually get the answer they are seeking from you. 

Saying no can be incredibly difficult but really meaning no and being firm in your answer can be even harder.  In order to be able to say no and really mean it you have to ensure that your tone of voice is firm and that your answer does not offer apologies.  You also have to be sure that you offer valid reasons for your answer and that your answer remains consistent no matter how many times the request is made.  All of this can be difficult especially if you are truly interested in helping others but you also need to realize that you have a right to say no for any reason and that your answer should be respected.









Thursday, December 2, 2010

Don’t Just SAY You’re Sorry – Prove It

The words, “I’m sorry” can get us out of trouble when we’ve done something wrong or hurt someone we care about but the key to a good apology is really meaning it and convincing the other person that you are truly remorseful.  Apologizing just for the sake of keeping the peace is not an effective way to apologize.  In doing so the recipient of the apology will most likely see through you and realize that your apology is insincere.  A sincere and well timed apology, however, will help to mend the relationship that was harmed by your words or actions. 

The most important way to prove that you are truly sorry for hurting someone is to ensure that the hurtful action is not repeated.  Apologizing over and over while continuing to make the same mistake shows that your apology is not really sincere.  On the other hand if you really mean that you are sorry for an action you will take careful steps not to repeat this action.  Apologizing for your actions is one thing but being cautious not to repeat your actions really proves that you are indeed sorry. 

Being specific regarding the reason for your apology also really proves that you are sorry.  Many people are quick to offer an apology when they realize someone is upset with them but often they don’t take the time to figure out why the other person is upset.  Apologizing without stating the reason for the apology shows that you don’t understand the problem and that you aren’t sincere in your apology.  This is not an effective way to make an apology.  However, if you offer a specific reason for your apology you are proving that you understand what you did to hurt the other person and that do not want to repeat that action. 

Another way to prove that your apology is authentic is to be sure to offer the apology in person.  Having a third party speak to the person you have offended or apologizing via email or voice mail conveys a lack of caring.  This kind of apology shows that you aren’t truly sorry for your actions.  Meeting with the person face to face to have a sincere conversation and offer your apology is one way to really prove that you are sorry.  It shows that you care enough about the other person to meet with them directly to try to make amends for your contributions to the disagreement. 

In apologizing, if you want to prove that you really mean it, be careful not to place blame on the person you are apologizing to.  Your apology is about telling the other person why you believe that you did something wrong.  While they may have contributed to the situation, now is not the time to point out their faults.  Instead take full responsibility for what you have done wrong.  Accepting full responsibility for your actions and apologizing for them without placing blame on the other person will prove that your apology is sincere. 

A genuine apology will also include telling the other person why your actions were wrong and how you intend to avoid hurting them in the future.  Doing this proves to them not only that you understand you were wrong but that you understand why you were wrong.  It also lets them know that you have already formulated a plan of action to ensure that this situation does not arise in the future. 

The timing of your apology can also help to prove that you really are sorry.  Waiting too long to apologize may show that you don’t really care and that you are simply apologizing as an afterthought.  An apology that is made too early may risk being ignored because the recipient of the apology is still too upset to listen to what you are saying.  It’s important to give the other person a chance to vent their anger and calm down before rushing to apologize.  After a reasonable amount of time approach them and let them know that you understand their anger and believe that it is justified and that you wanted to give them a chance to calm down before apologizing. 
Sometimes it is not enough to simply apologize for your words or actions.  It is often necessary to not only apologize but to also prove that your apology is sincere.  A truly sincere apology proves that you are sorry by addressing the issue and acknowledging what you have done wrong while validating the other person’s right to be angry and addressing how you will avoid similar actions in the future.


10 Great Places to Meet New Women Part 1

There are a lot of great women out there just waiting to meet the man of their dreams but finding these available women can take a little creativity.  Sure there are plenty of single women at bars and nightclubs but the competition is also tough with many men also trying to meet women and women are usually on guard at these locations so getting through their defenses can be difficult.  Instead of battling other men for a woman’s affection at a bar, try meeting women in new locations.  Specifically locations that sport a high female to male ration will enhance your chances of meeting new women. 

A woman’s clothing store is a great place to meet new women.  Not only is this location filled with women but it is also almost completely devoid of other men.  Many men avoid a woman’s clothing store like the plague so if you are brave enough to venture inside you will have an assortment of women to choose from.  You can start a conversation by asking a woman for advice for a gift for your sister or by complimenting her on her purchases. 

The gym can also be another great place to meet new women.  While you may already spend hours a day pumping iron in the weight room try spending some time on a cardio machine or drop in on an aerobics or yoga class.  These activities are typically dominated by women so engaging in these activities increases your chance of meeting women while at the gym. 

Another great place to meet new women is in an adult continuing education class.  Many community colleges offer night classes on a variety of subjects.  Try signing up for a class or two and you may find that you meet a variety of new women.  The key to choosing a class is to not only choose a class that sounds interesting but to also choose a class that is likely to consist of mostly women such as cooking classes or pottery classes.

The Zen Of Meeting Women

The Internet is always an option for meeting women.  You can try placing a personals ad online or join a dating service to read profiles of available men.  There are so many personals sites available that it would almost be impossible not to find a suitable match.  Just be sure to exercise caution and not give out your contact information or agree to meet anyone in a secluded location. 

Hobby and craft stores are also excellent places to meet new women.  Many women enjoy activities in arts and craft and often frequent these types of stores to purchase items for craft projects.  More importantly though this is a hobby that does not attract many men so you will most likely be one of only a few men in the store. 
The Average Guy's Guide to Meeting Women: A Simple, Practical Introduction to the Art of Finding, Meeting, and Attracting Beautiful Women